A Journey of many lifetimes

Time moves differently for different individuals. For some, it snails and meanders its way at a glacial pace. A journey of a lifetime gets stretched into many lifetimes. Life moves almost in slow motion, an autopilot phase, where one is aware of just glimpses of their life, as most of their experiences pass by them. For a few individuals, life is just a humdrum of many jejune experiences. They are bereft of the extraordinary and live a life of victimhood. However, a few individuals (like me) are blessed to meet their creator while living this life. The creator does not appear in some exotic form or some esoteric manner. As I talk about the strange ways the creator shows his presence, I am reminded of a story a long time ago about a fisherman marooned on a tree. It so transpires that he is devout, and at that moment of adversity, he remembers his lord and asks him to appear to rescue him. Just as he finishes his prayers, he espies a lifeboat with an old gentleman offering him bode in his boat. The fisherman, awash with hubris and confident that God will make a spectacular appearance declines the request and perishes as the floodwaters crest.

This story left an indelible mark in me, a tale that reminded me that the universe appears in your life in strange ways sometimes when you expect it the least. If we are not open to the possibility of a rendezvous, we may completely miss his (or her) presence and convert an extraordinarily resplendent moment into a mundane experience. For me, my God appeared 16 years ago as Rashmi Aiyappa, my mentor and spiritual guide. Aashwasan appeared as my journey. A period of 16 years has condensed a path of many lifetimes. Why do I say that it is a journey of many lifetimes? One measures a lifetime, not just by the number of years but by the amount of growth and the richness of experiences that one goes through. If that were to be the rubric for measuring a lifetime, Mine would have surpassed thousands of them. My first encounter with Aashwasan and Rashmi was a series of epiphanies, each more exalting than the other. I upended my life as I shed many layers of toxicity and conditioning. 

As my life unfolded, experiences moved at an alarming speed. The pace of change quickened, and it was almost as if somebody had pressed a Fast forward button on my remote. Moods that would stay on for weeks lifted in hours. The sadness which would engulf me and slide me into a phase of melancholy would lift abruptly. Strange anger that would have been a constant companion started to part ways. Years of neglect and abandonment of life had taken their toll. For one was to eke out a life in a spartan manner and not live kingsize. Less is better; withdraw from life entirely, shed joy in your life. Philosophy met my beliefs, and hubris took birth. Pride and pomposity about these beliefs set me apart from others. While others would revel in life, my ego would swell as I watched these lesser human beings.

The last 16 years have not been a comfortable period. But happiness has never been the hallmark of comfort zones. Gut-wrenching changes are the norm of the bold. And if one has to course through uncharted waters, the unknown is the only faithful companion. As I progress in the journey, the bliss of life overtakes my existence. Gratitude to life, to Rashmi, to Aashwasan inundates every pore of my being. Sometimes, when it becomes challenging to express your experience, a deep sigh seems to be the only alternative. That sign encapsulates within its tiny space millions of feelings, thoughts and memories. Gratitude to what I am, Gratitude from having escaped a path of misery, Gratitude for allowing me to experience the infinite in many moments, Gratitude for giving me the space to experience intensity in simplicity.

Today happens to be the birth anniversary of Aashwasan and the birthday of Rashmi Aiyappa. Today is a day of reckoning for me; today is the day when I bow my head and with all humility, Gratitude and joy and say -" Thank you Rashmi, Thank you Aashwasan for being there. For lifting me from my humble abode and put me in an exalted pedestal." I will continue to grow and evolve. This is just the beginning. I know, I am traversing a road that does not have a destination. The path festers my journey, and the end is not the goal in my heart. As the years will surely pass by, I pray and hope that I steer clear in my path and allow you, Rashmi and Aashwasan to continually touch my heart and inspire me to greater heights.