The Journey of Letting Go and Embracing Growth, one Stitch at a Time

Dear Isaiah,

This week, we've started to see the impact of your absence on Smokey. She crawls up into your space on the sofa and lays there, mainly in the afternoon, which is when she was used to cuddling with you while you did your homework. Dinner has gotten easier. Grandma and I had a simple charcuterie board for dinner last night. I revel in the fact that I won't have to look at spaghetti again for a while. We are packing up "Hemet Hell House" with great anticipation and excitement for our move, and I look forward to not having to smell the moldy swamp cooler, having a larger bedroom and office space, and being able to set up and spread out my craft room supplies. Because you are "away" and not gone, I will not forget to set up the spare bedroom with your Godzilla figures and model airplanes.

I’ve had time to reflect and wonder why I didn't cry or get sad as many moms do when they send their children off to college. Today, I realized why letting go wasn't as hard as every empty-nested mother has told me it would be. You see, when you went into middle school, I realized that you would start to need me less. As you became more independent, I realized that I needed to rediscover who I was beyond being your mom. I knew I had to find the things that brought me joy just as you were beginning to explore your own interests. During this time, I tapped into my maker side and learned how to knit and crochet. I started reading again, and I joined a fantastic wine club. These small steps helped me build a life that was my own, filled with things that made me happy.

In two weeks, along with Grandma, I will embark on my biggest adventure yet since you went to college: moving to Rosarito, Mexico. This transition feels easier because, much like you, I’ve come to view life as a grand experiment. Each day and week is an opportunity to explore and grow. I wake up each morning comforted by the thought that you, too, are on your own journey of discovery, forging your way in the world and learning something new, even if the latest thing is frustrating, like figuring out how to complete your background paperwork for your first job!

You were never treated like a baby but like a fascinating human being full of potential who could grasp the world with both hands. We never settled for the ordinary, did we? From the time you were in utero, I read to you, introducing you to the vast expanse of human knowledge and imagination. We've explored the world around us through hiking, road trips, cooking, music, art, science fairs, and museums, and even started our own club called "The Science Ninjas!" And now, as you continue to explore this world on your own, remember the importance of curiosity.

"It is impossible for a man to learn what he thinks he already knows." - Epictetus

Keep this in mind as you walk through the doors of new experiences: be always open to learning and the possibility of change.

As I’ve been knitting lately, I’ve realized how each stitch, each loop, adds to the fabric, just as each experience in life contributes to the person we are becoming. The stitches alone are simple, but they create a unique pattern when combined. Some stitches are tight, reflecting moments of tension or challenge, while others are loose, representing times of ease and flow. The patterns we choose add texture and complexity, much like the decisions we make and the paths we take. And then there's the color—vibrant, subdued, or somewhere in between—adding excitement and life, just as our experiences enrich our journey.

This life is your grand experiment now, Isaiah. Embrace it with the same wonder and enthusiasm we've always approached everything with. Whether you're discovering new ways to engineer solutions in aerospace, refining your photography skills, or teaching kids to read, remember that each experience, no matter how small, is a building block in your unique and intricate life. Like how I've started rediscovering who I am as a single woman, you are discovering who you are without the familiar backdrop of home.

While I continue to explore who I am as a single woman, moving to Rosarito, Mexico, and taking on new challenges, I think of how each day adds another row to the fabric of my life. And just like in knitting, where the final piece often turns out to be more beautiful than you imagined, I trust that our lives will unfold in even more fulfilling and vibrant ways than we can foresee.

So, as you continue to knit together your experiences—whether in the classroom, with new friends, or in your quiet moments alone—know that each is valuable. Each one adds texture, color, and richness to your life. And just as I’m here, knitting my latest masterpiece, I’ll be here for you, always eager to see how your unique fabric unfolds.

With each stitch, with each step, we are creating something beautiful.

Love,

Mom