A journey of I don't know

Two years ago, I took a leap of faith and left the security of my job to start VAll—two years of no salary and a constantly increasing outflow. Luckily a growing stock portfolio and provident funds have tided me and the team. I've faced financial strains and personal setbacks and witnessed growth and progress but I still question why.

I don't have answers. Many entrepreneurs portray their journeys as glamorous and effortless so there are no points of reference. I wonder what is behind their Instagram/ Linkedin-worthy highlights which show that they are constantly on the rise and causing all kinds of impact. My journey on the other hand feels like it is riddled with self-doubt, illnesses and question marks. I know funders are reading this but every once in a while, I step back and ask myself, is this even causing an impact or will it in the future? Is this entire struggle worth losing my sleep on? Is this dream worth pursuing, sometimes at the expense of my mental and physical health? There have been moments when I've questioned my decision, wondering if the sacrifices were worth it.

I always come back with the answer, Yes !!!

My passion for VAll's mission has kept me going. The potential to create a platform that can inspire lifelong generosity and disrupt the world of giving is incredibly motivating. When I talk about VAll, my eyes light up, and there's a palpable excitement that I can't fully articulate. In my heart I know, when I pull this off, it will be a game-changer.

It is not like we are not moving ahead in VAll. I think it is all coming together. We are starting to design the platform of my dreams. Till now we tested pieces of it and we have reached a point, where the team and I are designing it to build it in the next couple of months. Does that make me happy? Not really, it fills me with even more trepidation. I recognize the immense responsibility that comes with accepting funding. It's a double-edged sword: while funding can provide the resources needed to scale VAll, it also increases the pressure to deliver results.

As I look back on the past two years, I'm filled with a mix of gratitude and determination. I'm grateful for the team and all the support. I am determined to continue pushing forward, even in the face of challenges but I continue to question myself and everything else. On one side I say we could be a billion-dollar company and on the other side, I don’t even know if we will reach our first thousand by the end of the year.

I am not ending on a positive note about the future like AI keeps suggesting because I am tired of spinning everything in the positive. This journey is not easy. Doubt it is for me or any entrepreneur out there. Please don’t ask me to talk to my therapist, I already am and please don’t say hang in there. I know I am going to kill this but I know this is hard and for once, I just want to acknowledge it. The road looks uncertain and while I am confident of my ability to pull it off, I am honestly petrified of what lies ahead. This journey has a lot more I don’t know and all I can say is, a step at a time, a day at a time.