A Journey to the Goal

We’ve all been there - the clock struck midnight on New Year's Eve, and we're crafting a new resolution: lose weight, hit the gym, apply for that dream job, travel the world, ask for a date that cutie from the office. We envision conquering challenges and making the coming year a canvas for our aspirations. However, as the initial thrill settles, the inertia creeps in.?

I vividly recall my first attempt at setting yearly goals with New Year's resolutions. I was 24, and I considered quitting a stable well-paid job to pursue a career in design, despite knowing absolutely nothing about it. On January 1st I eagerly sat down to craft my 'plan for the year.' The process lacked structure, resulting in a sprawling list of too many goals, with no further steps. The next time I saw that list on December of the same year. The outcomes were less than stellar: low or no execution, a nagging sense of guilt, and no enthusiasm about the goals I listed. I hadn't come any closer to design, as you may imagine. Nevertheless, this ritual repeated itself every New Year for numerous consecutive years as for me it was better than having no plan at all.

The journey toward system improvement began when I moved to Italy. The shock of living in the new environment pushed me to study goal setting, time management, acquiring habits, and brain neuroplasticity. Living alone, far from family and friends, provided the final nudge to find a way to set goals—not the right one, just comfortable enough to maximize the chances of their realization.

Each year, I dived into a new methodology or technique, conducting micro-experiments and prototypes. Now, I want to share how I breathe life into my goals. This is not a guide - it's a personal exploration of setting goals that resonate, and inspire.

Find out what you really want

Inspired by my friend's experience, in 2023 I tried "life audit", a transformative practice introduced by journalist and researcher Ximena Vengochea. The "life audit" is a tool to dive deeper into your subconscious and understand what lies there. Let me walk you through the process:

1. Take a thick pack of 100 stickers (more is acceptable, but not fewer).
2. Lock yourself in a room without internet, people or any other distraction for two hours. Don't leave until you complete the process.
3. On each sticky note, write down one goal, dream, or task. Yes, yes, you need to write 100 or more.
4. When you're done, categorize the sticky notes. I had stickers about “relationships,” “professional skills,” “adventures,” and so on. Now you have a ready-made distribution of life priorities: the more stickers, the more mental energy you focus on the area of life, and the more important this area is for you now.

The outcome will be a more interesting list than if you just quickly threw out ten goals from your mind. Take a moment, step back, and revisit your list after a few hours or even days. You'll likely discover that some dreams or goals are not as important as they initially appeared.

Ever heard of "mimetic desire"? It was first formulated by philosopher René Girard - “Mimetic desires are?the desires that we mimic from the people and culture around us”. Homo Sapiens are much better than other species at learning by copying other people. And in the same way, through copying, we learn to want and desire to be like someone else. There's no DNA sequence that makes us want Sony's new noise-canceling headphones.

Copying is a normal tactic for learning, but it becomes a problem if you use it for your personal desires. When I looked at my 100 stickers through this prism, I realized that I needed to throw out about half of them.

What are you ready to sacrifice to reach goals and develop habits?

In psychology, there is a concept called “goal competition”, which states that all goals compete with each other for your time and attention. Every time you start pursuing a new goal, you need to shift your focus and resources from other activities.

My goal-setting problem was actually a goal-selection problem. In reality, what I need is better concentration. Here are some strategies that help me and my friends to prioritize and focus on one thing at a time:

1. The 5/25 Rule is a productivity strategy proposed by Warren Buffett. Start by writing down 25 goals, then look through the list and choose the top 5 goals. The next step is to ruthlessly discard the remaining 20. Points from 6 to 25 are definitely things you care about, they are important to you, so it will be very easy to justify spending time on them. However, when you compare them to the 5 main goals, these points are distracting. If you spend time on unimportant priorities, you end up with 25 unfinished projects instead of 5 completed ones.

There are so many options in life so if we don’t prioritise and focus on what matters we risk ending up living a life that’s not aligned with our true desires. "5/25 rule" helps a scettered approach to goals. It’s a quick a simple tool but yet so powerful! I read about it around five years ago in an online article and since then used it to set the goals in all areas of my life! Linnea Etzler, PhD

2. The Eisenhower Matrix is a strategy to organize tasks by dividing all goals and activities into four categories. The first is urgent and important (done right away), the second is important, but not urgent (what you plan to do later), the third is urgent, but not important (you delegate to someone else), the fourth is not urgent, not important (which needs to be eliminated). The Eisenhower Matrix helps you ask yourself whether an action is really necessary, and if not, then you can easily move it to the “Delete” category and not waste your time anymore. It's certainly not a perfect strategy, but it is a useful decision-making tool for increasing productivity and eliminating behaviors that consume time and mental energy, but rarely get you closer to your goals.

I've come across the Eisenhower Matrix in Stephen Covey's book 'The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.' It was articulated so clearly that now any new task that arrives at my desk can be properly prioritized for execution at the right time and by the right team member. I apply this method to plan the team's weekly schedule and for personal design projects. It helps ensure the efforts are most effective while aligning with external expectations and deadlines. I like the method because is simple, clear, and effective! Franco M.

Choosing my goals is a continual process. When planing my day in my journal I ask myself "Will it move me closer to my goals?" if not, the Eisenhower Matrix comes to the rescue.

Don't rely on willpower, create a habit

After reading a bunch of articles about willpower, I found out that this strength is finite. The basic idea is this: a person can make a limited number of decisions in a day, and then the willpower simply ends. When we start something new, we feel a wave of motivation, but when the novelty wears off, it takes away also the motivation - and the brain begins to spend its finite willpower to maintain the process.

Here could be the end for my goals achieving process (and for this article) if not for one loophole: willpower is not required for habits. To use your will effectively, you need to form good habits and not waste your willpower on regular decision-making. BJ Fogg talks about this very well in his TEDx lecture.?

Look at your remaining Post-it stickers, what can become your daily habit?

1. ?First, identify the trigger: the event or action that the habit will follow. For my morning routine, the trigger is “when I’m drinking coffee”
2. Then determine the minimum action that will bring you closer to forming a habit. For example, I wanted to start journaling in the morning. I take my diary to the breakfast table and write my thoughts while I’m drinking my morning coffee.
3. Track your success - I’m ticking out the days in my calendar when I’m journaling.
4. Repeat the minimum action after the trigger for at least 30 days in a row. The brain needs time to relearn.

Create a stimulating environment

In his book "Triggers" educator and coach Marshall Goldsmith explores the powerful psychological and environmental forces that subconsciously shape our behavior. We are largely oblivious to how our surroundings, social circles, and daily routines impact how we think and act. “If we do not create and control our environment, our environment creates and controls us.” Goldsmith suggests "The Wheel of Change" to identify and overcome the environmental triggers that can derail our goals and desired behaviors.

. Creating represents the positive elements that we want to create in our future.?

? Preserving represents the positive elements that we want to keep in the future.?

? Eliminating represents the negative elements that we want to eliminate in the future.?

? Accepting represents the negative elements that we need to accept in the future.?

My main challenge was dealing with the uncomfortable sense of helplessness in the acceptance phase. The "actions" like creating, preserving, and eliminating feel second nature to me, but learning to embrace "doing nothing" and accept is my daily work in progress. I used the "Wheel of Change" method to pursue my goal of reading more - I joined a book club, started making mental maps to remember the books, and accepted that I don't have much time to read printed books and subscribed to Audible.

Think about what you need to add to your environment that may help to reach your goals. What is already fine-tuned with the list of your values? What needs to be eliminated and what actually cannot be changed and you just need to accept it?

Make a commitment

1. Make a simple table in Google Sheets: five rows, three columns.
2. In the columns, indicate three goal horizons: for the next year, for ten years, and the rest of your life.
3. Write down your goals in the rows (optimally not more than five in each column).
4. Print two copies.
5. Date and hand-sign each copy.
6. Put them into frames. Place one in the bedroom and the other on your office desk.
7. After a year, update the list.

Goals are set, useful habits are ready to create - we're almost done.

Daily accountability questions will focus your efforts and provide the structure for change. Mine include: "How many times did I check social media during work today, and did that align with my intention?", "Did I do my best to set clear goals for today?", "What did I learn today?".

On the way to your dream life don’t forget to reflect on your progress.