The journey everyone must take

It was a regular Friday evening, and I was heading out to town with friends. It was an evening like any other for an 18 year old guy. The streets were filled with young people who were outside in a dark and windy fall evening in Denmark.

My friends wanted to go play pool billiards. I was reluctant. I never really understood how to play and some of my friends were annoying winners, and I knew they would mock anyone who could not figure out it. They kept insisting that we went for a game, and I reluctantly agreed. I mean, what else was I going to do, if they all went on their way and I was left behind?

Inside was warm and crowded. Many people were hanging out in the bar, and we quickly managed to get a spot at a pool table. We played winner stays and when it was my turn, I was trying to make it work, but true enough, I lost, and I got mocked as per usual. "wow you are bad at this game", "why don't we play for money, it will be easy pocket money".

I felt annoyed, frustrated and lacking in skills and I was imagining all future gatherings end up on the same way. I had no intention of being the laughingstock of the group. Something had to change, and I realized it was me and my approach to becoming better at something. Clearly it would not be enough to play a few games per week with friends. I needed to find a way to rapidly improve my skills, so I could go back and win. For me, winning was going to result in me not being mocked by my friends anymore.

The very next day I was searching for a place to practice. I had heard about a place called Europool in the city and they charged 20 DKK per hour, only. (roughly 3-4 USD). After my studies that day I took my bike and drove down there. The winds were still harsh, but motivation had kicked in. I walked into the pool hall. They had 7 tables and it was empty. I was there early in the day, and I walked up to the bar and asked for 3 hours of time. The bar keep welcomed me, smiled and registered me in her computer. I walked down to the table and racked up to get started.

It was a shaky start, and I was there on my own. I was trying to practice simple shots and just make sure my angles were right. 3 hours past, I went home and the very next day, after studies, I went back and purchased another 3 hours. This happened every day for 30 days straight. Others were starting to notice that I was there regularly, and one guy approached me and asked if I wanted to play with him. I agreed and to my surprise I won. It was a strange feeling as I assumed he would be better than me. Henning introduced me to several other people, and I became a regular.

30 days after my initial start, I went back out to town, with my friends, and they again wanted to go to the same place to play pool. This time, I did not lose. This time there was no mockery. This time I won. The taste of victory was sweeter than mockery.

I became a regular at Europool and the guy, Henning, introduced me to several other people that I could play with. Within three months I was winning against everyone in the place. There was a competition coming up that they recommended I signed up for. It was a qualification tournament for a national 9-ball tournament. I paid the entry fee and on tournament day a stranger walked into the place. Clearly my newfound friends knew who he was. His name was Kenneth and they all told me he would win the tournament and there was no point in trying to aim for number one.

We both played our games and ended up having to play each other in the final. Again, my friends told me to just quit, because it was pointless as Kenneth would clearly win. There was only one qualifying spot to the national tournament, and they felt he would get it anyway. I felt otherwise though. I wanted to play this guy. Why would I give up without trying? If he was so great, I wanted to play him and learn something. I did not have anyone else who was better than me at that time anyway. We started playing and true enough he won. Convincingly, I might add. I was excited. Someone who was better than me. I asked him where he played, and he mentioned a place called Fairplayers Poolhall.

I knew where the location was, and I was interested. I had just lost the spot for a national tournament, just because a player from outside wanted an easier qualification. My motivation spiked again. I was picturing myself playing Kenneth again and winning. There was no other way than to become even better. To do that, I had to learn from someone who was better than me. The next weekend, I took a trip to Fairplayers when they opened.

The room was dark. It was something I had gotten used to. The lights over the tables were symmetrical and there was 6 tables neatly lined up. It looked less like a bar and more like a place of actual skilled players. There was one guy in there. I said hi and asked if I could try to play in the place and buy a few hours? He mentioned that it was for members only, but I could get a free hour and he would be happy to play with me.

There were no one else around and I was quite excited. The guy was in pretty good shape. He was bald and had a friendly smile. His names were Jonne. He was starting. He takes aim, eyes fixed on the cue ball. With a smooth stroke, the cue stick connects with the cue ball, propelling it forward. The cue ball strikes the lead ball of the rack, sending it flying towards the side pocket. A chain reaction ensues. Balls scatter in all directions, some finding their way into pockets, others caroming off the rails. It was the hardest and cleanest break I had ever witnessed. I was in the right place.

I asked him how many tries he needed to clear the table. He mentioned 1-2 tries. I was gob smacked. He made it look so easy. Clonk, clonk, clonk and finally the 8 ball went in the pocket. I had not even had a try. I was joking with him, that it did not even feel like playing, when it was against him. He laughed and let me start the next game. He was giving me advice during my play. I was thrilled that I had now met another player who was great. I mentioned I had played Kenneth previously and he mentioned that Kenneth was one of the best players they had. Now it was two for two who were amazing. My new home was found as a player.

My membership was paid, and I started going to Fairplayers instead. I met a ton of players. Michael was someone of my own age and we quickly became friends. He had played there for a while and was playing tournaments as well. I lost left, right and center. It did not bother me though. Something was clearly different. I was there to learn, and no one mocked you if you lost. The culture was to help one another and get better. To practice, support and play together. It was Fairplayers against other clubs instead of players against one another.

Kenneth was a regular there as well and I noticed that he was at the top of the list. He was the whale. The one everyone wanted to beat. There were several tournaments happening regularly in different disciplines at Fairplayers. 9-ball, 8-ball and straight pool. I was not the best, but there were individuals I could beat in the game. It fueled my motivation to continue my progress.

I was pegged against Kenneth again in the semifinals in a tournament. The battle was closer this time around, but I still lost. He acknowledged that I had gotten better, and I congratulated him on his victory. He ended up winning the tournament. It had been a year since I left Europool and I was now competing in national tournaments with my team members Michael and Thomas. We won 3rd division and secured promotion to 2nd division in the country.

My days at the dodgy bar with a pool table with friends was long gone. I was spending most of my time playing for something greater. Progress, learning and achieving my goals of winning a tournament. Promotion to 2nd division was a massive win and we had a city championship coming up. Again, I was pegged against Kenneth. This time in the quarter final. I played my best game ever and ended up winning. I knew it was only one game, but I had finally managed to achieve my goal. Semifinal was also won against another club member, and I was now facing Jonne in the final. The one who got me interested in playing more seriously.

It was a close game and ultimately, I lost. It was a loss to my mentor, and it felt ok that he was the one beating me. I was in the books. One of the best in the club and one of the best in the country. My team went on to play two seasons in 2nd division and got bronze the first time and we were in the top spot until 3 rounds before season ending in the second year. Our team member did not show up for two games in a row and we lost points. Gold medal was gone.

My journey of pool billiards lasted almost 6 years. From the beginning of not knowing, to become great. I won a few small trophies here and there and built up some great friendships. Life was happening to me, and I had just landed a job in Copenhagen. It was time to leave my past behind and go on a new adventure. I needed to exit my club and say goodbye. It was the last time I played seriously, and new adventures replaced the old.

If you are still here, thank you. Why am I sharing this story with you? The reason is that it has helped me understand the value of perseverance, persistence, consistency, mentorship and having a goal. These are all relevant in everything we do. It does not matter if you are just starting out in your career, if you just got mocked for being bad at football or if you have just lost your job. The reality is that life will throw us challenges and it is up to us to determine how we act. The value of having a mentor cannot be understated in this. I hope you have yours!

If you don't and you are looking for someone who has had over 20 years of leadership experience and who have gone through challenges and tests of losing a job, moving to a different country and who climbed the corporate ladder to a senior leadership position, I suggest you drop me a note. Let's talk about mentorship and how I might be able to help you on your journey.