A Journey to an Embodied State of Radical Honesty

I didn't know how I would finally heal, but I instinctively knew that my path forward had to be based on radical honesty. – yung pueblo

He told me when I was fourteen. But I didn't tell anyone else until I was 20.

Six years of holding onto my secret. Of finding ways to avoid certain situations. Of making excuses. Of shielding and covering and lying.

I thought I was protecting my reputation. I think I thought—or hoped, at least—that if I just ignored the truth for long enough, the truth would go away.

But nothing changed. I felt uneasy with my lie. I felt disconnected from myself. I needed to tell someone the truth.

"Amy, I have to tell you something. My dad's gay."

Those last three words were by far the most difficult three words I had ever spoken. And her three word response was the most freeing I had heard in my life:

"Big fucking deal."

That was the beginning of my healing.

I didn't know it then, but I know it now.

It was the beginning of growing into my truth, my authenticity, myself. The beginning of establishing my beliefs, my voice, my values.

We all face dilemmas like this every day—some are big, some are small. Yours are no doubt different than mine, but the essence of the dilemmas is the same:

What do we do when we don't know what's on the other side of our fear? When we don't know if pushing through our fear will lead to more suffering or less?

I'm constantly asking myself: How do I get to a place where I can live in an embodied state of radical honesty?

I don't always get there. I still have fears. I still have doubt. I still have uncertainty. I still hide things.

And knowing that I am intentionally on the journey towards radical honesty is what brings about my liberation and healing.

And it feels good.

Hello, I'm Jared Karol. Thanks for reading Wisdom from the Town, a newsletter focusing on the intersection of healing and change—published every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.

The title stems from two sources:

1) I live in Oakland, often referred to as the Town (the City, San Fransisco, is across the Bay).

2) The author yung pueblo, whose last name translate as "town" in Spanish.

The wisdom often comes from yung pueblo and also from many other sources—including but not limited to healing practitioners, Buddhist psychology, social justice and change agents, trauma-informed teachers and therapists, and socially conscious musical artists.

Soon, I will be offering coaching services. For now, I simply invite you to read, reflect, share, and continue on your journey of healing yourself so you can heal others. Collectively, we can create the change that we want to see in the world.

In community,

Jared