The Journey Beyond the Goal: Finding Success in the Unexpected

We all do it. We set a goal, get tunnel vision, and march determinedly toward it. We think we know what we want, but often, when we finally reach that destination, what we end up with isn’t what we expected—it’s what we needed. And along the way, we miss the small miracles happening on the periphery, those unnoticed gems that eventually turn out to be the true success.

I’ve found myself in that spot many times throughout my life. Like when I was laid off from a job I had for nine years. At first, I was devastated, but that loss led me to peruse a coaching and training career. I enrolled in an NLP practitioner course, and in the spirit of trying something new, I organized an event to unite people through art, crafts, and connection. I even built a WordPress website from scratch to support it. But I’ll be honest: I initially defined the success of that event by numbers—how many people attended, how much money was made—and by those metrics, it seemed like a failure.

Yet, when I took a step back, I realized something important. The event wasn’t just about who showed up or the money—it was about everything I learned along the way, the skills I gained, and the new friends I made. That one experience taught me to stop letting the bigger wins overshadow the smaller, more meaningful ones.

The WordPress skills I picked up for that event? They became the foundation of the business I built from the ground up. The people I met? They’ve become dear friends who continue to shape my journey.

1. The Myth of Control

We love to believe we’re in control. Control over our careers, our personal lives, our futures. When we set a goal, it’s as if we’ve built a highway to success with clearly defined lanes, exit points, and destination markers. But here’s the thing—control is, more often than not, an illusion.

As I’ve learned through my own experiences, you can plan meticulously, invest time and energy into the ‘perfect’ outcome, but life doesn’t always care about your plan. We march toward the goal, expecting linear progress, but life tends to throw curveballs that push us in directions we never anticipated. Sometimes, those detours aren’t just distractions—they’re the true destination.

The Illusion of Control

The belief that we can control everything often leads us to overlook what’s happening in the present. We become fixated on the final goal, whether it’s career advancement, financial security, or personal milestones. But the reality is that the most valuable experiences often happen along the way—in the unexpected moments, the relationships we form, the challenges that force us to grow.

When I set out to organize that event after my layoff, I thought the success of my efforts would be in the number of attendees or the money raised. I had my metrics in place, ready to judge my success. But the real success was far less tangible. It was the new skills I developed, like mastering WordPress or learning how to bring people together. It was the connections I made, the friendships formed, and the lessons learned.

The Value of Life’s Unexpected Turns

Here’s where the real twist comes in: the things I thought mattered most at the time (attendance, revenue) weren’t nearly as important as the things I hadn’t planned for. I didn’t foresee that the WordPress skills I taught myself would become the bedrock of a successful business. I didn’t anticipate the profound impact the people I met would have on my future.

We tend to stick rigidly to our plans, but the truth is, life’s unexpected twists often provide more value than following the plan to the letter. These detours can lead to skills, relationships, and opportunities we never knew we needed. When we fixate too much on a single path, we risk missing the magic that happens in the periphery.

2. Noticing the Gems Along the Journey

In my case, the "failure" of that event wasn’t really a failure at all—it was a stepping stone to a deeper understanding of success. It helped me redefine what success meant for me, beyond the numbers and expectations. The real victories were in the learning process, the relationships I built, and the unexpected opportunities that unfolded after the event.

The problem with tunnel vision is that it blocks out everything else. When we're so fixated on one goal, we miss the small miracles, the gems that are sitting quietly on the sidelines. We become blind to the skills we’re picking up, the friendships forming, or the way our thinking is evolving. These often turn out to be the real rewards—gifts that shape us in ways we could never have anticipated.

3. The Hidden Gems on the Journey

On the way to any big goal, we often find ourselves so focused on that final destination that we miss out on the magic happening around us. It's easy to fall into the trap of tunnel vision, where the milestones we're striving for eclipse the real treasures found along the journey. These "gems" can be anything from unexpected connections with colleagues to skills we pick up when navigating challenges or even personal growth that sneaks up on us when we least expect it.

Let’s think of it like this: Imagine a road trip where your eyes are glued to the GPS, fixated on that final stop. Meanwhile, all around you, there are quirky roadside attractions, charming small towns, and breathtaking scenic overlooks just waiting to be explored. But because you’re so focused on getting “there,” you miss the real adventure. Life works much the same way.

The hidden gems on our professional or personal journeys are like those unexpected road trip stops—the people you meet at work who become lifelong friends, the skills you pick up to overcome an obstacle that later become pivotal, or the unexpected shifts in your perspective that lead you down entirely new, fulfilling paths. These are not just pit stops on the way to success—they are the success.

So, how do we shift our gaze to notice these hidden gems? It’s all about expanding our peripheral vision. Instead of measuring success solely by hitting the goal, take a moment to look around, appreciate the journey, and notice the unexpected treasures that pop up along the way.

4. The Story of “Failure” (Reframe Success)

Let’s revisit the story of the event I organized that didn’t quite go as planned. At the time, I saw the success of the event as dependent on two very clear metrics: how many people attended and how much money was made. By those standards, I felt like it was a failure. I had poured my heart into organizing it, but it didn’t hit the marks I had set. It was gut-wrenching.

But here’s the thing: my definition of success was far too narrow. In hindsight, that event wasn’t just about the numbers. I’d learned how to build a WordPress website, gained marketing and project management skills, and formed relationships that have lasted years. I just couldn’t see it then because I was so busy measuring everything by a single outcome.

This redefinition of success is something many entrepreneurs face. We often measure the success of our businesses based on revenue or client count—numbers that seem to tell the whole story. But what about the relationships built with clients or colleagues? The knowledge and insights gained from pushing through a challenge? What about the resilience developed from overcoming a failure? These things can have a far greater impact than the immediate monetary result, but they’re so easy to overlook.

The twist here is that success isn’t just about what’s in your bank account or on your resume. It’s about those long-term relationships, the lessons learned, and the skills that make you adaptable in a world that’s constantly changing. These are the elements that create sustainable growth—not just in business, but in life.

5. The Power of “Failure” as a Catalyst for Growth

Failures, in many ways, are the best teachers. When we experience setbacks, they force us to reevaluate our paths and, more often than not, lead us to something better suited for us. I’ve seen this in my own life, and it’s a theme that runs through many of my experiences.

For example, I’ve worked with clients who thought they knew exactly what they wanted—whether it was a promotion, a specific business outcome, or a personal milestone. But when they didn’t achieve that goal, they found themselves on an entirely new path, one they hadn’t anticipated but ended up being more aligned with who they are. These moments of “failure” pushed them toward unexpected growth, and they were able to discover a new, more fulfilling definition of success.

There are countless stories of entrepreneurs or public figures who faced monumental failures before finding their true calling. Steve Jobs, for instance, was fired from Apple—the company he founded—only to return years later and lead it to become one of the world’s most successful brands. The common thread here is that failure didn’t derail these individuals. Instead, it pushed them toward growth, innovation, and ultimately, success.

6. Unexpected Skills: Turning Disasters into Opportunities

My own journey into WordPress started with what I initially saw as a disaster. I had never planned to learn web development—I just wanted to support my arts event. But when things didn’t go as expected, I took the opportunity to learn a skill that I thought was peripheral but ended up being transformative. That one skill has since become a cornerstone of my business and allowed me to build a career I hadn’t envisioned.

This isn’t unique to me. In modern business, especially for small business owners or entrepreneurs, adaptability is everything. We often start down one path only to find that the real value comes from the skills we learn while navigating the unexpected. Those “disaster moments” become opportunities to evolve, to acquire new knowledge that can fundamentally change how we operate, and to uncover hidden strengths.

The twist? These skills or experiences, while they may seem secondary at the time, often outlast the original goal itself. They become core components of who we are and what we bring to the table in our professional and personal lives.

7. Celebrate the Small Wins

One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned over time is the importance of celebrating everything—even the smallest of wins. We tend to overlook incremental progress because we’re so focused on the end goal. But those little victories are what build momentum and keep us from burning out.

In the coaching realm, there's a strong emphasis on mindset—specifically the difference between a fixed mindset and a growth mindset. A fixed mindset ties success to one singular outcome, whereas a growth mindset values the process and all the learning that comes along the way. When we celebrate small wins, we reinforce a growth mindset, reminding ourselves that progress isn’t just about the destination—it’s about every step we take.

Contrast this with the “Instagram highlight reel” phenomenon, where people only showcase their biggest achievements and the end results, ignoring all the small daily victories that made those moments possible. Celebrating those small wins can be the key to a more fulfilling and sustainable journey.

8. Embracing Uncertainty: The Forces at Play

Life has a funny way of unfolding. No matter how hard we try to control every outcome, there are always bigger forces at play. Sometimes it’s fate, synchronicity, or just the natural flow of things, but life often takes us on paths we couldn’t have predicted.

Entrepreneurs know this feeling all too well. The uncertainty of running a business can be overwhelming, and the desire for predictability is strong. But true success comes from learning to embrace uncertainty, to ride the waves of change rather than fight them. Much like a river takes unexpected turns, so do our lives and careers—and it’s often in those twists and turns that we find the most growth.

The twist here is that by letting go of the need for control, we open ourselves up to new possibilities. Instead of seeing detours as setbacks, we can view them as part of the journey, leading us to places we never knew we needed to go.

9. Practical Shifts for Your Journey

So, how can you apply all this to your own life or business? Here are some concrete steps:

• Reevaluate Your Definition of Success: Take some time to think about how you measure success. Is it solely based on achieving one outcome, or can you also celebrate the relationships, skills, and growth along the way?
• Practice Mindfulness: Stay open to opportunities beyond your fixed goals. By practicing mindfulness, you can develop the awareness to notice and appreciate the unexpected gems that come your way.
• Reflect Regularly: Make it a habit to reflect on your small wins and the lessons learned. This will not only help you stay grounded but also build the resilience needed to navigate challenges.

And here’s the twist: instead of sticking to rigid, traditional goal-setting methods, consider setting flexible goals that evolve with your journey. Adaptability is key.

10. A Moment to Reflect on Your Own Path

As you reach the end of this article, take a moment to reflect on your own journey. What small successes or side paths have you overlooked? What unexpected skills, people, or experiences have shaped your life in ways you didn’t anticipate?

In fact, I challenge you to engage in a “peripheral vision challenge” for the next week. Consciously look for the things happening on the edges of your path—those little details you might usually miss—and see how they add richness to your journey.

If you’re feeling stuck or unsure about how to navigate life's twists and turns, that's where coaching can make a difference. Friends like Anita Sheehan at Impakt Coaching and John Niland , founder of the Self-Worth Academy, specialize in helping individuals embrace the unexpected and guide them through revelations, enabling them to redefine success on their terms.

11. Uncovering the Real Magic Along the Way

The final twist in all of this? While goals certainly matter, the true magic lies in embracing the unseen forces and unexpected gifts we find along the way. Success stops being something “out there” and starts happening right here, in every moment. And when we learn to let go of control, we create space for life’s most meaningful surprises to take root.

12. Embracing Support

Navigating the journey toward your goals can often feel like wandering through a dense forest—exciting but overwhelming. While I’ve shared my experiences of discovering hidden gems along the way, it’s important to acknowledge that you don’t have to do it alone.

As a digital solutions architect and experienced guide, I specialize in helping individuals and businesses navigate the labyrinth of their journeys. Together, we can uncover your unique strengths and skills, transforming setbacks into stepping stones. My approach is all about refining your definition of success to ensure it resonates with your true aspirations.

Whether you're seeking clarity on your next steps, need support in building new skills, or want to celebrate those small wins along the way, I’m here to empower you to embrace the unexpected turns of your path. Imagine having a partner who encourages you to appreciate every milestone, no matter how small, and helps you shift your focus from mere outcomes to the invaluable lessons learned.

Let’s embark on this journey together, discovering the unexpected treasures waiting for you just off the beaten path.