The Journey Back to Being a Mensch Part 5: Change

There are a million things we might have on our plates to ‘change’. The first question – what actions and changes will bring the most outcome? – links us to the Pareto Principle. This states (according to Wikipedia) that, for many events, roughly 80% of the effects come from 20% of the causes. So, which 20% of things needing change will give you most of your results? Spend your time wisely!

Once you figure those out:

-         How important is it for you to change each?

-         What would be the consequence of changing or not changing it?

-         How urgent it is? 

If it is important and urgent to YOU, then change it.

For all the things you say you want to change, have said for a long time, and have not changed, it’s possible you either don’t want to change or it’s not important enough to do so now, yet, or ever. So accept and move on, rather than waste time and fill life with demotivating goals that won’t happen.

For change we REALLY want:

When it's important enough, set clear goals and take action. Being a mensch is about doing what you say you’re going to do. Just talking about it isn’t enough. Focus on the things you DO really want to change. And throughout, love who you are, be proud of your efforts and the challenges you are able to surmount. Recognise and celebrate them. You are your best motivator. Every one of those steps gets you closer to being a more rounded mensch.

So what does that look like? Cause maybe you need a reminder?

Well, first of all, when you are honest with yourself, you know what you have let go of, where you have dropped your standards and where you can improve. The gut feeling speaks the loudest (it’s your inner mensch speaking to you), so grab the moment and start changing that approach. 

Who are you and what do YOU really want/need/love in life. It all starts with you. When you know yourself, when you know what’s important to you, you can take actions to grasp those elements and make sure they are consciously and consistently a part of your daily life. Be the mensch you want to be. You need wait for no one to make that happen.

So when answering these questions, focus on your best high energy parts. Those things that drive you, make your heart pound, make you want to do more, excite you and make you smile or even cry with joy.

When you do, then you will create an environment where you feel good, comfortable, and free to be yourself. When things go well, even the small steps will feel exhilarating too. And in doing for yourself, you are bound to positively influence those around you. Keep these positive mensch behaviours at the forefront of your mind on a daily basis.

It doesn’t take long and here are some questions you could ask yourself at the end of each day to boost your serotonin levels and positive outlook:

-      What was my intention for today?

-      What did I achieve today?

-       What positive impact did I have on someone else?

-       How did I show care/love/gratitude/attention?

-       What challenges did I get over today?

-       Who am I grateful for and why?

-       What makes me grateful today and why?

-       What is my intention for tomorrow?

-       What am I looking forward to tomorrow?

-       How can I have a positive impact on others tomorrow?

-       Who haven’t I spoken to in a really long time and miss?

Recipe for Success? A Summary

We’ve explored our expectations of where we should be in life and discussed social and cultural expectations. But once you identify who you are, what is important to you and the people you want to engage with, you can break free of these constraints and consciously be a mensch.

In our experience, having moved away from the toxic and negative to proactive, empowered and value adding, we are relieved by the people with whom we am gifted to work, speak and collaborate. They are people we really want to be around because we complement and support one another, have similar visions and admire one another’s skills. And they hold us to those values when we have one of “those moments”. They too strive to be menschs. In surrounding ourselves with them we ensure we work towards our goals and values.

We express our wishes and ask for them to be respected and included by those around us. We move towards what fulfils us. There are some things we need to do and may not love. That’s part of life. We work to ensure that most of life makes us feel good, spending it with like-minded people and heading in the right direction.

Be the change we want to see is a great sentiment. Being a mensch brings us back to being loving and generous: for ourselves first so we are able to do the same for others. We can be an example for others, and be there accompany them on their journeys.

Every single little drop and action will make a difference. Every act of love towards self and others will have a ripple effect. Do it because you want to and no other reason. And the ripples will resonate and create more ripples.

Time to move towards the strength in your individuality, find yourself, and chose to be a mensch minute by minute, going towards positivity, authenticity, responsibility, and with self-mastery. EVERY positive difference, no matter how small, is worth the effort.

It starts with the intention. Enjoy the journey and be sure to get in touch if you have any questions or comments.

All the best on your journey back to being a mensch!

If you haven't already seen them, take a look at the previous parts of our Mensch article and our articles on goal setting:

If you want to reach out to us, you can contact us via our LinkedIn page, email us at [email protected] or tweet at @InfintBlaze_HD and we’ll be happy to speak with you. And if you like these articles, please share them.

? Judith Hammer and Adrian DeCoursey, InfinitBlaze, October 2020

About InfinitBlaze Consultancy

We are a learning, leadership development and consulting practice. Everything we value and everything we strive to achieve is so the people and organisations with which we work can create profitable & sustainable enterprises, social engagement, human development and feel joy at work.

Judith Hammer is a multi-lingual, international learning and development professional with 20 years experience in consulting, designing and delivering L&D initiatives/solutions to all staff levels in a variety of international and UK-based companies. Her non-consultancy roles have included head of learning and development for hotels in London and HSBC Bank in Switzerland.

Adrian DeCoursey – Adie to his friends – is a strategic advisor and executive coach to CEOs, boards and leadership teams. He is also an international consultant, leadership coach, author and trainer. In a career spanning over thirty years, he has worked with the UK and foreign governments, corporate banks, the not for profit sector and a variety of other organisations. His non-consultancy roles have included marketing director, culture & change director, deputy chief executive and non-executive director. Adie is also co-author of Neuro Linguistic Programming: NLP for Executive and Professional Development.