Journaling

“Journaling is like whispering to one’s self and listening at the same time.”

--Mina Murray?

(main character cursed and then freed of Dracula's spell)

Journal: from the French for daily

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It may seem like an outdated practice, but journaling is an indispensable tool for revitalizing yourself. The very act of writing out your thoughts, rather than letting them swirl in your head, has a transformative power.?

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Animals with no psychology simply rest when the body dictates. Human beings often need tools or techniques to bring the mind to rest, so that the body can rest too.?

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We notice nature springing back to life, and yet our humanity remains stuck in the dark, cold energies of winter. Following are three practices, using a journal, to refresh for a new life season.

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Personify

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???????????There are certain key things in life, things we cannot avoid, but to which we develop a disempowering relationship:?money, work, people, food, exercise, family, spirituality, etc. If you listen to yourself, you can hear yourself saying (sometimes out loud) things like:

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???????????“I only work because I have to; I can’t wait to be done with it.”

???????????“I’d rather not have to deal with money at all; it’s the root of all evil.”

???????????“People are just dreadful; I despise dealing with them.”

???????????“I just eat to live; I don’t care about it at all otherwise.”

???????????“I hate exercise; it’s a disgusting annoyance.”

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You would almost never talk about another human being so derisively, and yet these are each a part of life. So, get out your journal and develop a better relationship to that vital aspect of life you speak of in such vile terms. That is, write to this aspect of life as if it were a person.?

• Come clean about how you feel toward it.
• Recount how you developed your attitude toward it.
• Reflect on the impact (of your relationship to this part of life) on yourself and others.
• What is there to give up for the sake of a better relationship to this part of life?
• What could be possible in this relationship?
• How will you move forward (next steps, regular practices, support structures)?

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Parent

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??????Still living inside us, there are earlier iterations of each of us that stopped growing at a certain age. There’s the child who stopped exploring when s/he was told to get out of daddy’s toolbox. There’s the 10-year-old who got stuck in people-pleasing because it was the only way s/he knew to deal with mom and dad’s constant bickering. There’s the teenager who stopped questioning authority when s/he was reprimanded for not deferring to the English teacher. There’s the young adult who stopped pursuing her/his dream, because “You’ll never be able to earn a living that way.” Etc.

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They’re all in there to this day, and they each get triggered when similar circumstances present themselves.

• You don’t talk about how it felt to get fired, because “that touchy-feely stuff doesn’t matter.”
• Someone interrupts you in a meeting, and you become the furious five-year-old who was told to shut up and obey.
• You might be the boss at work, but when your aging parent refuses to stop driving her/his automobile, you have no power to enforce the reasonable tack.?

Use your journal to let these inner parts have their say and be heard. Let them explain themselves and why they feel the way they do. Take the time to understand their (ir)relevance in the current context. Notice their relationships to each other. Ask them what purpose they mean to serve. Tend to their needs. Make requests of them. Make sure they each feel appreciated.

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Purge

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???????????When you recognize that you’re holding onto a long-standing thought, belief, habit, or situation that you’d like to let go of, write out your responses to these questions in your journal:

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1.?What exactly is the thought, belief, habit, or situation that you want to let go of? [Make it simple, like “I'll ruin the marriage if I?express my frustration." Or ”I can't find any new clients."]?

2.?Are you authentically willing to put closure on...[that thought, belief, habit, or situation]??

3.?Clearly express the past: When do you first remember thinking it? Who has/would (not) agree? What role has this belief played in your life? What are important situations where it came up?

4.?Take responsibility for whatever you are responsible for (acquiring the thought or habit, living from the belief, [not] interacting with others due to this situation, etc.).

5.?What stops you from letting this go?

6.?What would it look like to let go of the piece that's stopping you? (There might be certain other changes entailed.)

7.?Expressly forgive yourself and let go (potentially in some physical/ritual manner).

8.?What good came out of holding this belief or habit while you did?

9.?Declare yourself finished [with the thought/situation] to at least one other person, or demonstrate in some way that you're finished [with the thought/situation], especially to those who may have been impact.

10.?What is now possible that was not before?

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Print out the prompts I’ve given you here, or save them on your device. Keep your journal on your pillow, so you’re reminded to do these practices and revitalize daily. If something is more stuck than these journaling exercises are able to loosen up, then please get in touch with me or someone else who can assist you.????

Sincerely,

Martin Kettelhut, PhD

303 747 4449

[email protected]

https://ListeningIsTheKey.com