John & Nicole - Selfless

By John R. Nocero & Nicole M. Palmer

Dear Nicole,

 It's 6 am on Saturday morning and I am up with the new addition to my life, my 9 week old puppy named Lil. Lil is short for Lilly Mayes Hayes, and yes, I named her after the character on Major League and she has turned my world upside down after only a week. I am up in the middle of the night to take her out so my sleep is a bit disrupted, and I am following her all over the house saying no, don't do that Lil or Come on Lil when she starts to chew shoes. My older dog? Well his life is in a bit of disarray. He doesn't understand who she is or why she is here. He will get used to her. We all will.

Maybe the biggest change for me is the heightened sense of responsibility. In the boldest of terms, if I don't care for her, she will die. The fact that you are responsible for another living thing should help you may better decisions, give up a bit more and learn the value of selflessness.

Nicole, you told me that when your son was born, you learned the value of what life is really about. What did you mean by that? I have learned over the last year that life is not about me, but having Lil now compounds that. for a time, it will be all about her. You also mentioned multiple times it is better to give than receive. Were these lessons you would have only learned by becoming a mom or do you think you would have learned them on your own?

-JRN

Dear John,

Congratulations on your newest addition! I can't wait to officially meet her and I demand puppy pictures everyday. I love the name and the meaning behind it. I am not surprised at all. You are giving me puppy fever. What made you decide to get another dog? Before you know it, you will be in a new routine. What about Kel? How is she handling the new routine? 

John you make a great point. The biggest responsibility that one person can have is keeping something alive. Whether it be a dog, plant or another human being. They all need to be taken care of but in different ways. You have to ask yourself, what are you willing to sacrifice to keep this alive? Until I became a mom, I couldn't fully comprehend what it meant when a parent would say, I would take a bullet for my child. Now I get it.

John when I said that I knew what life was really about, I meant life isn't about materialistic things. Life is about procreating. Being able to sacrifice and see the world through another persons eyes. It's truly majestic to watch someone experience something for the first time. Experiences alone are far more worth than any materialistic thing. Everyone asks me what my husband got me for Christmas. I told him I didn't need anything. Let's save our money and put it together so that our family (this includes our extended) can have a great experience. My birthday is coming up, and I will have the same response. I want less things and more experiences with our families.

Giving is better than receiving. It's a fact. I was raised this way. If someone needed something, you help them in ways that you can. I learned this on a micro level when I became a mom. Children need their parents. Sometimes you may have to give up eating a meal or your 6-8 hr sleep routine because they need you. All day long, I hear, 'Mommmmmmy' or 'Mommy do it.' It's music to my ears. I would give up anything for my son.

Sincerely,

Nicole