Job seekers: Two essential ways to reduce the pressure YOU are putting on yourself

Looking for a new job is always stressful, especially when you’re out of work. Like a letter from the IRS coming to your house as you leave for the DVM to register a new car level of stress. That’s why it’s important that you don’t make the job-searching process even more difficult and unpleasant. Luckily, there are two easy ways to turn down the pressure.

???? TL;DR version

Here are two actions you should AVOID while job searching:

1. Taking "auto-rejections" personally when you apply.
2. Setting unrealistic expectations for "dream jobs."

Doing these two things only increases the pressure you will put on yourself as you apply for jobs. Don't do either of them. Ever!

Full version

Are you interested in learning more about this topic? Great. Let’s get into why these two behaviors are so counterproductive. I’ll start by admitting that I’ve done both of them during past job searches, but at some point, I began learning from my experience and stopped the behavior.

??? Rejections: It might be THEM, not you

Let's start with rejections, specifically "auto-rejections" that arrive minutes, hours, days, weeks, months or even years (yes, it happens) after you applied for a job.

I’ve heard some variation of the following story many times, “I just applied for a great job where I was totally qualified in every way for the role. I immediately got informed with a generic email that I wasn’t moving forward in the process. I didn't even get an interview. What’s wrong with me?”

Most likely, there was nothing wrong with you or your application! I tell candidates never to take anything personally unless they’ve spoken to a recruiter, someone from HR or the hiring manager.

Why is that an important clarification?

Because there are so many things that can go haywire when you are cold applying for a job. Here is a partial list:

• They already have enough candidates to interview.
• They are promoting an internal candidate.
• The budget for the position got cut.
• There is a hiring freeze.
• The hiring manager quit.
• Someone posted the job opening by accident.

I’ve personally observed all of those things happen to job listings that were technically open, but in reality, even the most eager, qualified and prepared applicants stood no change of getting. Yes, even those who wrote "amazing" cover letters.

All of those reasons listed above might lead to a "rejection" – none are personal. Only when you have had a substantive conversation with the hiring manager, and preferably gone through the full interview process, should you even consider taking rejection personally. Even then, all the same issues could apply and result in you not getting an offer. And that doesn’t take into account other factors, including bias related to race, age, gender and more.

My parting thought here is to never blame yourself for a job rejection unless you can point to a specific major mistake or misstep that you made during the process. And before you even go down that road, tell a partner, friend or colleague about the supposed mistake to get another perspective on whether you really did something wrong.

???? That ‘dream job’ might be a total nightmare

I cringe whenever I hear someone say, “I applied for my DREAM job today.” Why is that a bad thing to say? Because you don’t know whether any role might be a dream job until you conduct some due diligence first.

Let me give you a story about buying real estate. Bear with me.

Many years ago, my wife and I were searching for our first house. This was back when you got minimal information in online listings. Maybe a picture of the front of the house – if you were lucky. One day, our relator told us about a house for sale in our dream neighborhood. In the sole picture we saw, it looked cute and tidy from the outside.

We started getting excited right away.

Before our relator picked us up to go look at the house, Amber said to me, “I don’t care what it looks like inside, WE ARE buying this house.”

Everything looked great as we approached the yard.

We opened the door … and it was a complete disaster inside.

Nothing made sense about the layout. It was in horrible condition. The house was so small inside that we were bumping into each other. The only “shower” was a showerhead and a drain in the unfinished basement.

That dream house was a total nightmare. We walked away and kept looking. We found a nice house in a different part of town that met our needs, but it was far from our “dream” house. Nonetheless, it served us well for many years before we upgraded.

The same thing happens with job searches.

You see a posting for a job at a company that has a fantastic brand or a mission you want to support. You feel deeply connected to it. You label it as your "dream job" and the pressure starts to build as you apply and wait for a response, which might never even come.

Yet, to be a dream job you need more than than surface appearances to judge by. A lot more. Here are just a few things you should figure out before labelling anything a dream job.

• What the culture is really like.
• What your co-workers are really like.
• Whether your boss is an effective leader and a good person.
• Whether there is a path for career development and advancement.
• Does the role actually match the job description?
• Is there any semblance of work-life balance?

Until you talk to a human being and can start sorting out those issues and answering key questions, that dream job is simply an opportunity that looks good on paper.

Even if you make the final cut and and accept an offer, I still think you need more time to call it your dream job. Take a breath. If after six months you’re still loving it and the role ticks off all the boxes - maybe then you can use that label.

???? Closing thought

Overall, remember to temper your expectations until you can start having conversations with people at the company where you are applying. As tempting as it is to get excited about jobs that seem like a great fit, you’re only putting more pressure on yourself when so much of the application process – especially early on – is out of your control.

Just like dealing with our friends at the IRS and DMW, the average job application experience doesn't need any help making our lives more stressful!?

Turn DOWN the pressure.

#jobhunting #career #hiring #jobtips #humanresources