The Job Offer That Led to a Bizarre Corporate Maze

In the world of remote work, one job offer seemed like a golden opportunity. Little did I know, it would lead me down a rabbit hole of secrets, bizarre sales tactics, and a corporate structure like no other.

Buckle up as I unveil my experience that left me questioning everything I knew about business.

A few months ago, I was contacted by the Director of Sales of a mid-sized company, who asked me to join the organization as a Manager of Business Development.

I was not sure about this because I'm a copywriter, editor, and ghostwriter with sales experience and knowledge about sales cycles, sales funnels, and sales strategy.

I had recently left a very good job as a copywriter to pursue personal branding. Naturally, I thought that this sales job would help me refresh my sales skills.

In order to successfully build a personal brand, you need to be an expert in sales.

You're a one-man army, creating and optimizing multiple functional areas of your business.

While this seemed like a great idea, there were some red flags that I noticed during the interview.

When the CEO asked me, "Do you have any questions?" I replied,

"Yes, how do you generate leads?

“How many leads do you generate every day?

“How do you distribute these leads to your team?

“How does your sales funnel work?

“What are your conversion rates?

“Can you show me your sales and marketing metrics?

“What is your total revenue?"

The CEO said that they spend $40,000 per month on PPC and generate 10-15 leads per day, and they have a live chat option that also generates 5-10 leads per day. They make more than $150,000 a month. However, he did not answer the rest of my questions.

This was an immediate red flag.

Let's say, on average, they generate 20 leads per day. This equates to a single lead costing them $66.6, which is insane.

I asked myself, “who is approving these marketing budgets?”

Well, the CEO – duh. or - it could be an outright lie, they might be buying leads from freelancing websites.

You can buy high-quality leads. Recently, a friend of mine bought 2000 leads for $100 , which is $0.05 per lead, and they were all quality leads of founders and CEOs, all verified.

It just didn't make any sense to me.

The Sales Director said that he would answer all of the questions later and gave me an offer.

Ok, fair enough.

I wanted to decline the offer, but instead, I did something incredibly foolish, something that now resides in the annals of the highest echelons of stupidity. I tripled their offer, using it as my way of saying NO.

Much to my surprise, they accepted without hesitation.

The realization hit me like a ton of bricks, and I felt an overwhelming urge to pull my hair and give myself a resounding slap on the forehead.

But, you know, the little voice on my right shoulder chimed in, saying, "Hey buddy, maybe give them a chance." I glanced over at my left shoulder, but no one was there; I suppose my main man had decided to take a break.

Unfortunate timing, I must say.

I was supposed to start on Monday, and for some reason, the Vice President, who I was supposed to report to, assigned me to a Senior Business Consultant to show me the ropes.

So naturally, I was expecting process manuals and training materials. I received a message from the Senior Business Consultant on my personal number.

"Hey bro, wassup, my name is Dick, how you doin?"

Flaring with glee and excitement, I replied, "I'm fine. Could you send me the process manuals and the training material?"

"Oh, we don't need those. You have me; I'm the process manual, the training material, and the all-round resource that would solve all of your problems" – (I'm not making this up). There is a reason why I used a fictional name; I don't want to break my NDA. But, out of millions of names, I chose the fictional name DICK for my ex-colleague.

Initially, they gave me 200 leads. I called, emailed, and texted all of them on the first day.

"I'm not interested."

"Why do you keep calling?"

"I've been patient for the last 6 months; will you M@@@@@F@@@@@s STOP CALLING ME!"

"How many times have I asked to be put on your do-not-call list?"

And there were a few good responses.

"I'd love to get this done, but I don't have any money."

"Yeah, sure, call me tomorrow" (A lot of those who never picked up after the first call).

Now I’m wondering, where on earth are these paying customers?

Two weeks had passed, and there was still no sale. My phone bleeped; I saw a message from Dick.

"I was told you were experienced; am I missing something?", texted Dick.

I replied and then threw my phone away – on my bed (have broken many phones in the past)

"I would love some feedback; I'm always open to new ideas and would be more than happy to discuss the challenges that I'm facing right now."

Dick did not respond after that.

The next day, I was contacted by one of their ex-employees who spilled the beans about everything.

Talk about good timing.

So, before I tell you this, if you are a sales professional reading this, get a nice tall glass and fill it to the top with your favourite alcoholic beverage. Before reading what's below, chug it. Then refill again and start reading.

So apparently, everyone in the organization except the Director and CEO is a sales representative.

What does this mean?

I don’t’ know, haven’t seen or heard anything like this before.

But, I’ll try my best to explain it.

The Vice President regularly calls and sells. He has 8 Assistant Vice Presidents under him who are also calling and selling. Then we have managers and senior consultants who are also – yup, selling.

Does it make any sense?

Well, the leads go down a pyramid. First, the Vice President gets the honor of calling the lead and pitching the highest offer. If the lead is not interested, the lead is then passed on like a joint to the Assistant Vice Presidents, who then pass it down to us. After that, the lead is passed down to me.

No wonder I was getting such cheerful and loving responses like, “I’m gonna find you, and I’m gonna strangle you if you call here again.”

On a serious note – this is what they were doing.

1. Lead Recycling: The practice of using leads multiple times, with each successive contact offering a lower package, is not an effective strategy. It can damage the company's reputation and make potential clients feel undervalued. It's better to focus on quality leads rather than recycling them excessively.
2. Inefficient Use of Resources: Having multiple layers of sales calls for the same lead is inefficient. It consumes more resources without necessarily increasing conversions. Instead, streamline the process to be more cost-effective.
3. Lack of Personalization: Each lead should be treated as unique. Offering the same lead different packages based on how many times they've been contacted lacks personalization. Customizing offers to meet each lead's specific needs can yield better results.
4. Reputation Damage: Recycling leads in this manner can tarnish the company's reputation. Word can spread quickly among potential clients, leading to a negative perception of the company's sales practices.

?

What they should have been doing;

1. Segmentation: Segment leads based on their needs, budget, and preferences. Tailor your approach to each segment rather than offering a fixed package.
2. Personalization: Invest in understanding the needs of each lead and crafting personalized proposals. Show that you genuinely care about their project.
3. Lead Qualification: Implement a rigorous lead qualification process to ensure that the leads you receive are genuinely interested and have the potential to convert.
4. Sales Training: Train your sales team to be persuasive and skilled in objection handling. This can improve conversion rates without relying on recycling leads.
5. Feedback Loop: Establish a feedback loop between sales and marketing to ensure that the quality of leads generated through the landing page is high.
6. Customer Relationship Management (CRM): Utilize a CRM system to track interactions, preferences, and follow-ups with leads. This can help you manage leads more effectively.
7. Transparency: Be transparent with potential clients about your services and pricing. Honesty and clarity can build trust.

Picture an organization where communication is a one-way street, decisions take forever, and departments work in isolation.

Imagine the chaos that ensues, highlighting the frustration of employees who are trying to navigate a labyrinthine bureaucracy.

How they are making profits? I guess God is running their company, or Lucifer - who knows.

But I know one thing.

I'm not making the same mistake again.