Job Interviews - Why Are We So Afraid Of Them?

It's a commonly quoted statistic that most people are more afraid of public speaking than they are of death. Is this true? Well, maybe, maybe not, but it feels true, doesn't it? And if you did a quick poll, you'd probably find that many people are even more afraid of job interviews then they are of public speaking.

The question is why? Why are we so intimidated by job interviews? With the thought in mind that it always helps to face our fears head-on, here are some reasons:

1. We're afraid of being judged: Not too many people enjoy going into a situation where people in authority will sit in judgment on them, whether it's in a court of law, a talent contest, an examination, an audition or anything else. Why? Is it because we're afraid we'll make too good an impression? Of course not! It's because we're afraid the judgment will be negative, and that we'll be found wanting. And the less confident we are, and the lower our self-esteem as a person, the more anxious we can find ourselves becoming.

2. We feel like we have no control: When you go to a job interview, the power usually isn't on your side. Chances are there are several people in competition against you, and the employer gets to choose the person they like the best. You go into an office you're not familiar with, and sit down in front of a big desk with a stranger behind it, ready to question you. If you're really unfortunate, there will be SEVERAL people behind that desk. Let's face it: under these conditions, even Donald Trump might feel intimidated. (Okay, maybe not him. But anyone else.)

3. There's a lot on the line: In the rare cases of interviews where we truly don't care one way or another if we get the job or not, nerves aren't usually an issue. But usually, we go to a job interview because we REALLY want the job. Maybe we really want ANY job. For some people, they're hoping for this job to be the one that ends a long term of unemployment that pays the rent and puts food on the table. For others, it means a chance to leave a job they find humdrum or unfulfilling, and branch out into a field they're anxious to explore or that they've always wanted to be in. Sometimes, getting the job REALLY MATTERS. And we're terrified we'll somehow blow it.

4. We're afraid of the unknown: It would be so much easier if preparing for an interview was like preparing for a driver's test. You could study the brochure, learn all the answers, have several practice runs, and go in prepared to follow the procedure to the letter. Unfortunately, employers don't have a manual to follow, no interviewing guidelines that they must adhere to. You won't know what you're facing till you walk in. It could be an ultra-casual interview, just chatting with a busy employer who's also eating lunch, and checking his e-mails. It could be a very formal interview in a board room, being grilled by three stern-looking businesspeople. It could be... anything. Some people love going into the unknown, because it gets their adrenaline going and brings out the best in them. Others find going into an unknown situation just plain terrifying.

5. We think everybody else knows what they're doing: You go to the interview and see the other candidates sitting there, all smug and businesslike with their power suits and their briefcases containing mysterious and probably important documents. They look like they totally have it together. You greet the manager and she looks calm and relaxed, like she does this every day. Surely you're the only one who's a wreck, who's worried about what kind of impression they're making.

So what should you do? Give in to the fear? Cancel your interview and look into becoming a hobo? Visit a bar before your interview? No - all bad ideas. Here are some quick suggestions:

1. Afraid of being judged negatively? Ask yourself: what's the worst that can happen? Well, they might not like you. You might not be their cup of tea as an employee. They might tell you you're not right for the job. So what? You'll live. No one can be all things to all employers. Maybe the next interviewer will think you're exactly the person they always wanted to hire.

2. Feel like you have no control? The answer: PREPARATION. This can't be stressed enough. If you start Googling "job interview tips" on the Internet today, you'll be done reading the information... never! There's that much! It isn't all good, but somewhere on the Internet you'll find advice and tips on every possible aspect of interviewing: what to wear, what to bring, how to act, how to answer difficult questions, etc, etc. Take advantage of this help. Preparation counters fear better than anything else you can do. You'll feel far, far more in control if you go in armed with lots of knowledge.

3. Afraid of blowing it because there's so much on the line? Remember that desperation is not an attractive quality in a candidate. It'll help to remind yourself of #1. And ultimately some things really are outside our control. You can't force anyone to hire you. You can just be the best YOU that you can be. Focus on that and forget about what happens next.

4. Afraid of the unknown? See # 2. (Preparation!)

5. Think everyone else knows what they're doing? Guess what? They don't. You probably don't look terrified to the other candidates either. And know what else? Frequently, hiring managers are also uncomfortable and nervous about the impression they're making, especially if interviewing candidates is new to them.

6. Have a mantra: Have a positive thought to repeat to yourself when you feel panic setting in. A phrase like, "They'd be lucky to have me!" to be repeated to yourself (silently!) when you start feeling overwhelmed with anxiety. It can be anything that makes you feel strong and empowered.

Before your next job interview, read this list, make sure you're prepared for everything about the interview that's under your control, decide on your mantra, then go in and do the very best you can. If you don't give up, sooner or later you'll hear the magic words, "You're hired!"