Jiu-Jitsu or Mental Health? Part 4: Focus on the things you have

Note: It's the same intro every week, so feel free to spin on down if you've read it.

You don't have to look very hard to find the "surface-level" benefits Jiu-Jitsu can have on your mental health.

It can improve your fitness, increase your confidence, help you build a friendship group, test your brain, release endorphins and serotonin, and probably lots of other things that are really hard to spell.

But while these are all irrefutable facts, it's nothing we haven't heard countless times before about almost every form of exercise. Beyond the surface of Jiu-Jitsu, though, lay some intriguing parallels with life that feel almost by design.

"It's a lifelong journey." "There's always someone better." "Focus on what you can control." All these philosophies are inextricably linked to life on and off the mat.

Over the next few weeks, we'll break a few down and see if we can delve a little deeper into the fascinating similarities between Jiu-Jitsu and mental health.

Focus on the things you have

Champions are never satisfied; they can step into the arena, give the performance of a lifetime, and have critics, fans, and media singing their praises, but the true greats often only see what they might have done better. It's how they continue to push the boundaries of what's possible, even when they set the benchmark themselves.

As mere mortals, we look to these supernatural beings as inspiration, paragons of sacrifice and achievement, while we struggle to keep our shoelaces tied on a 3K run. But behind all the glory and interviews and endorsements often sits a gaping chasm that can never be filled.

When looking back from the down curve of their career, many of the world's former greatest have talked at length about their isolation, obsessiveness, and unhappiness.

Some wonder where it all went, unable to fathom why they didn't embrace the moment more as they desperately try to cling to their former glory.

"I'll be happy when I'm world number 1 again," they say as they drag their battered limbs into the arena, and the unforgiving cage door clicks shut behind them.

?"I’ll be happy when…”

One of the most powerful phrases in my career development but one of the most destructive in my happiness and fulfilment.

How does this apply to you? When will you be happy?

You might be thinking; I’ll be happy when: I get that promotion; I make my first million, or my injuries have healed up, and I’m back to 100%. But the thing is, you won’t be.

You’ll never be happy. Why? Because with that mindset, you’re focusing on the things you don’t have; by definition, achieving your goal won’t change that.

When you get the promotion, okay, you might be happy for a minute, but then you’ll discover your new boss doesn’t know what they’re doing. When you make your first million, you’ll decide you need at least one more; I mean, what if you lose the first? And let’s say your body does heal up; that doesn’t mean every other area of your life is firing on all cylinders; there will always be something else threatening to take your attention.

In the ‘90s, Mark Renton told us to choose life; well, now, we must choose happiness.

What are you grateful for right now?

Perhaps you’re waiting for your next belt, and you’ve seen three people get promoted ahead of you. You’re thinking I could snap the ankles off those lot on my worst day.

“I’ll be happy when I get my blue belt!” you say to anybody who actually cares.

Really? You’ll be happy when you’re the smallest fish in the tank again? No, you won’t. You’ll set the next goal. You’ll be happy when you’re helping teach a class or when you’ve tapped out a purple belt in front of the Sambo team.

The truth is: You’ll never be happy unless you’re thankful right now. Instead of focusing on when you’re promoted, lean into gratitude.

I’m grateful that I’m spending longer at this grade; the last thing I want is to get promoted and still get smoked by half the white belts.

When you go to another gym, do you want people thinking: wow, how is that dude still a white belt? Or, Jeez, how is that dude a blue belt?

There are benefits to focusing on what you don’t have; it can help drive you toward success. But what is success without the fulfilment that comes with achieving it? You must allow yourself to be grateful for the things you currently have and for how far you’ve come.

Perhaps you set the bar low at first.

“I’m grateful I’m breathing.” “I’m grateful I got up early for the gym today.”

Then you can move on to the amazing people in your life, your health, or the fact you have access to clean water and a gym in the first place.

It’s not about deluding yourself. It’s about spending longer each day focusing on the things you have. Then, if you’re anything like me, you’ll be happy long before the day you even realise it.

Next week is the final blog in the series "emotions are waves."