Jimmy's Guide to.... Marketing Theory

One of the many questions I didn’t get asked after my last blog was “ Jimmy, if you’re so wise, where did you get your Marketing degree ? “

Well, firstly, I never claimed to be wise. I’m writing this blog a) principally for my own amusement, and b) so that I have something to do in the ad breaks while watching Loose Women. 

As for where I got my Marketing degree, well I didn’t.

I spent a very happy three years studying English Literature instead at the University of Sheffield. ( In practice, this meant three years lounging around reading Shakespeare, living on a diet of peanut butter sandwiches, and trying unsuccessfully to grow a beard. Like I say, happy days. )

Which meant that I started my first proper job ( at Cussons, as a Marketing Graduate Trainee ) with no Marketing qualifications whatsoever.

I felt a little bit of a fraud at this point, so immediately tried to put this right by doing my CIM qualification. As well as my day job. Through home study. With a six month old baby.

It wasn’t easy. The crying, the vomiting, the constant smell of dirty nappies…. And then I'd leave the office and go home to study. ( I’m joking of course, Cussons was actually an incredible place to start my career. Nothing but good memories of those days. )

But looking back, I realise that I have remembered precisely FOUR things from that CIM course:

1. Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. This has been somewhat useful.
2. The Boston Consultancy Group Matrix. This has been reasonably useful.
3. The Ansoff Matrix. This has been slightly useful.
4. SWOT analysis. This has been very useful.

But really, that's been about it.

Now, I’m not saying for a minute that I don’t think Marketing qualifications aren’t helpful. In fact, I think I got a HUGE amount out of that CIM course – particularly given that I was also trying to learn the ropes as an ABM at the time.

I’m also not going down some fake-nostalgic dumbed-down version of the Monty Python 'Four Yorkshiremen' sketch:

“ Well, in my day we didn’t have fancy marketing degrees.. I got my qualifications at the University of Life. “

“ University of Life ? You were lucky. I used to live in a cardboard box outside Philip Kotler’s house. I used to forage in his bins for old text books…. “

“ Old text books ? Luxury ! I used to have to clean Mark Ritson’s boots while he read me excerpts from his old Marketing Week articles… “

Etc etc.

No, I’m not knocking marketing theory – or qualifications – at all. But I HAVE said before that I strongly believe that 90% of marketing is just plain old common sense. And I DO have a real dislike of those marketers who believe that they’re somehow better than other people in our businesses, just because they a) wear a trendy suit, b) carry an expensive electronic device, and c) can quote fancy-sounding marketing buzzwords. No, you’re not a visionary omnichannel thought leader and change agent, you’re a jerk. Deal with it.

I repeat: Marketers are NOT better or cleverer than people in Sales, Finance or Production. We’re all cogs in the same machine.

For me – once you strip away all the theory – Marketing comes down to one very simple task: Find out what people want to buy, and get the business to make it for them.

Of course there’s more to it than that. Finding out what people want to buy will normally involve research of some kind. You also need to know WHICH people you want to talk to ( existing consumers ? New consumers ? Where is the bigger opportunity ? ) And ‘ getting the business to make it ‘ actually means ‘ finding out what the business capability is, and what can and can’t be done profitably.

And there's also the bit about telling people what you've made for them, once you've started making it...

Okay, so it's two simple tasks. But at its heart, I believe the core of marketing really is that straightforward. And in times of trouble/panic/brand planning ( delete as appropriate ) it’s often one that I go back to in order to help me focus. And I don’t need a thick Marketing textbook to tell me it either.

On the subject of Marketing textbooks – some are great. And some are just awful. I remember one previous Marketing Director giving her whole team a copy of a book on How to Deliver Effective Marketing Campaigns. The book purported to contain a single unifying theory on how to produce fantastically effective advertising ie what kind of creative to use, how much to spend, what media channel to choose…. You know what, Nance ? It was bollocks then, and it’s bollocks now. You can’t learn how to produce great advertising from a book. It takes more than that, much more.

But I digress.

As I say, my point is not to disparage either Marketing Theory in general, or people with Marketing degrees. I’ve worked with some incredibly bright people who have taken exactly that route to start their career.

 But I don’t think it’s the only route in. There are many subjects that can give you a good route into Marketing. English ? Is essentially about communication, so yes, why not ? Economics ? Hell yes. Psychology ? Definitely. Sociology ? Also yes.

I also have a lot of regard for people who come to Marketing via other disciplines. Started out in Sales ? Excellent, you’ll understand how customers work. Started out in Product Development or Manufacturing ? Brilliant, you’ll know what we can and can’t make then.

Actually, some of the best Marketing Directors I’ve had have had non-Marketing backgrounds. One was originally an Accountant, and one started in Product Development. Go figure, as they say.

So, in summary… Yes, Marketing Degrees can be brilliant, and Marketing Theory can be incredibly useful. But I still maintain that most marketing is common sense, and that just can’t be taught in a classroom. Successful marketing actually revolves around a very simple core principle ( in my opinion ) and if you stick to that, you can’t go far wrong.

And, if you meet some trendy polo-neck-clad-Apple-watch-wearing-so-called-Marketing-Visionary waving a textbook and talking about ‘ taking a holistic and synergistic approach to bitesize content ‘ or any other such bollocks, feel free to kick him/her in the shins and run away.

You’ll be doing us all a favour.