The Jet Fuel of Belief

Has anyone told you that you are awesome today? In any case let me hop in and join the circle of your support. If you are hesitant to believe this is possible from a stranger then let's look at what this might cost someone. It costs, nothing.

Now that we have that understood at the very least, we can assume that there is one person out there that believes in everyone. If you are a lot like me then you feel the same about others. Now, from that, you can assume there is one person who cares about you. Then since you are the same as me then “if you believe in everyone” then you logically believe in yourself. Huwaaa, we made it!

To speak from personal experience, belief in me from others helped me save my life, which was ultimately my own choice, hence, it’s now an honor to give it. Further, it became something like a calling for me to go out in all parts of my life and believe in others, to give that. Which further shaped my life in even more inspiring directions. I’m sure you get the point by now. No need to lay out some eight layer cake of logic circles.

Simply put, what I’ve found is that it costs nothing to give this, in fact it’s an investment that lets you experience something very deep, like the honor of being human, and this can be part of defining a meaning in each of our days. To parallel well with this we can pull from the wisdom of Martin Lurther King Jr. when he said “I can never be what I ought to be until, you are what you ought to be and, you can never be what you ought to be until I am what I ought to be.” He can also be quoted, at a rally, saying that, “We are all mutually and inextricably interlaced in the fabric of life.” Check out an interesting video on that if you want here (for whom the bell tolls).

Well let's make sure to understand that here, he is saying that you can be what you ought to be, by leading in the giving to others as an honor in life that always gives back the opportunity to be you. That these kinds of actions, like gratefulness, kindness, and generosity build us up when they are given, which help us believe in ourselves more, and empower us to be able to give more. So in essence, thank you for reading this and it’s an honor to write it.

Now in order to be fair we must acknowledge the other side(s), which we could see as a healthy sense of skepticism and the appreciation of such. (1) That there are the possibilities of outcomes like being let down by the other people and that even if this is just our expectations, which will always let us down, it still hurts. (2) That even by trying for this, by believing in yourself you will run the possibility of being an imposition to those that do not, and do not want to. (3) People may not want to hear or believe this, and yes it may make them mad. To them reality is that, “no one should believe in them”, “no one could ever believe in them”, and even further that “people should not believe in each other because no one believed in them, and now it’s too late” and many more even further depressing thoughts down to the deepest moment where there isn’t even something like a choice left. Where even the sweetest things in life can become scary or made to be, where it feels like there is nothing to protect with.?

Now, that should be sobering for anyone. If you want to know further about these things and where people come from on their journeys or something like their road to Roam check this out from Dr Gabor Maté on stress, depression, and trying to force things in life .

This is just a few examples of where people’s perspectives can end up and to me it’s a calling that resounds over the hills that we have much work to do, everyday, since there are those that need us out there! Yet, this is normal and these experiences will be something like the “not funny” side of a Greek tragedy.

Being as that is very normal for anyone changing their life we could understand each other by saying, “yes, yes it does hurt to believe in people and we can understand that we do get hurt by giving it”, but I learned one important lesson. That was, to give without expectation, to give without attachment to an outcome.

Also there is the need to survive and take care of yourself or as the old phrase goes, “you won’t be able to be good to anyone”, and there is certainly some wisdom in that points to the idea of balancing what you can do to support yourself and what you can give without expectation to others.Hence, balancing all of this is accomplished with another step and that is the perspective to be able to see that it is normal for anyone to have expectations and that we should be kind to ourselves and others when things don’t go the way we want. If you want to learn more about perception of others and how to see them for who they actually are then check out Carl Jung’s work on the anima and animus which are the ways he, through his research, found that we will only know ourselves as the actual person, ourself, and the fantasy person that others imagine us to be is what they see. It’s fascinating work that gives anyone distinctions to be able to handle expectations and the outcomes of reality. Further still this is relevant because it shows us that if we don't know the actuality of another person then we should treat our expectations as something like a hope that should be protected and no matter the outcome, you have the honor of trying and therefore being who you are.

Moving forward we, I’ll assume, have some great ways to talk about concepts like reframing and what that can do for a perspective which gives way to a healthy approach to life by changing actions. Now, these kinds of thought experiments are quite fun yet they are only truly great in application which parallels with a great book called After the Ecstasy, the Laundry. What we can take from this is that we can reframe and change our perspective till the cows come home yet we have to get the laundry done, we have to apply it in the world, we have to do something. That something can be trying out these concepts when you work with people and expectations. It can be giving someone the kind words, “I believe in you”. It can all come from a belief that you give to yourself and it can come from you to start or it may come from others to you, and you need to be able to see things for what they can be in any case. There is a great story from Russell Conwell called acres of diamonds if you are interested.?

Well that was fun and let’s be further honest with ourselves to really get going here. This is a very tough journey for many people and we should salute them! It's a complicated signal to send and at the same time, once you have it, seems simple. It's like the moment where you realize that your actions in life have always pointed to the person that you were, are, and will be. That your “parade” in life was always headed in that direction; it was that you, yourself, was it’s greatest opponent and advocate. This idea of responsibility, that the results of your life are on you and if you want to be able to help anyone including yourself, it’s a choice.

To add more color to our picture here this is a perspective that is learned from years of endeavor. The kind where you scrape and crawl from the closet of your skeletons of experience towards some kind of light or grounding point. It is from that acknowledgement of yourself that you can truly begin to serve others mindfully. The actualization of self-acknowledgement is the first step in being able to identify with anything in the world as we have discussed. I mention the word “anything” here very poignantly to parallel ontology where everything is “One” where you look in others for similarity to start as your “framework” or “state” of existence. This could be simply stated as seeing yourself in everyone that you meet. Now on the other hand it is very easy to find differences if that is what you are looking for. This could be codified into the example of “looking for the perfect answer to a question”. Other words such as best or most follow in the same line of thinking.

It is a difficult path to say the least. However when you are looking for the greatness, the goodness, and the beauty in others to begin with there are very few difficulties in your path since it turns out that as we all are not so different in actuality. It is a path about learning and it feels someone can never finish, that there is always more to learn.

Yet, “Sometimes people don't want to hear the truth because they don't want their illusions destroyed.” - Friedrich Nietzsche

Okay, so let's start to come full circle here.?

Any place is a good place to start and no one then has to be perfect. All that is needed is the intention to learn and the willingness to give. So… What will you do with this? I assume it will be great! Either way, I would encourage you to seek anyway my fellow traveler as we are headed towards a multidimensional target in a linear boat and it is not up to us to figure everything out, just what we can, and the scope of that is up to us.

Lastly, bonus points from me if you make the lives of people around you better. A few more if you come help us build approaches that can give to everyone. Max points if you help humanity build an empire in the stars or some version of a utopia ;D.