Jerks on Line
In the ongoing delight that is Match.com, which is for me little more than Comedy Central these days, this past week I was reminded of why there are so many single men in America.
Being of a Certain Age (meaning over sixty) I don't get a lot of activity on my profile other than from men who are far older, and not at all what I am interested in, being an athlete. I largely ignore most of the inquiries, or respond politely. Every so often someone writes something just plain mean. As a longtime observer of human nature, a pattern has emerged over time, and it appears that those who are angry seem to be more ticked off at me for being out there doing things they spent a lifetime bragging they were gonna do but never did. This is not my problem. These are the guys informing me that I "should date someone my own age." Right. With fifty pounds of slop hanging over their Texas belt buckles.
Then there are the extremely young, who for some reason have decided that I am a cougar, and fair game, because in their minds I am on Match.com for sexual purposes because of course I have no life and the only reason I have a profile is because I must be lonely. Well, that's when I'm not paddling the oceans off Greenland, hiking in northern Norway, horseback riding in Africa, or tracking gorillas in Rwanda.
Lonely, and bored. Right. I guess I must be. Twiddling my thumbs in my living room.
What characterizes virtually all outreaches is the fact that no one reads the profile, which is quite explicit. It leaves nothing to the imagination. Yet people continue to set themselves up for rejection, no matter how kind.
So when a conservative Trump supporter, a serious drinker, who likes to bowl, who wants kids, a relative kid (to me anyway) of 36, contacted me last week, come on man. Seeing as how I tend towards independent, never drink, would never be caught dead in a bowling alley, prefer animals to kids, and only date serious athletes, all of which is rather clearly outlined on my profile, I declined. When I said no, this was his response:
"yeah good for you you have been on here forever, you look good but are as dumb as a pancake if u are not in the country often dont be on a datng site and maybe you should consider moving out entirely like the rest of the left wing nuts that said they would if the trump train was rolling though. you look good but are single cause you are a loser"
Men wonder why they are single. This is why, gentlemen. Hate, vitriol, viciousness, ugliness and an inability to handle rejection, which is a part of life, make a highly unattractive potential partner. Researchers over at Zoosk, another big dating site, report that lousy grammar is a killer, according to an article from Today, March 2, 2016.
Trust me. Even if this guy hadn't been such a jerk, the grammar would have booted him out the proverbial door. I don't date stupid, hateful, uneducated, beer-swilling bowlers who are simply out to get laid.
The other simple, elegant reality is that I really really enjoy my own company. I'm single because I like being single. There is still a grotesque notion out there that single women are desperately seeking. Well, a great many of us aren't. With the above proof as excellent reason why not. I love my own schedule, and not having to deal with men whose colds cause them more pain than I experienced when I went flying down 32 concrete steps and fractured my pelvis, broke my arm, broke my wrist and concussed my coconut. I find whining highly offensive. I'd rather listen to a Bach oboe concerto.
Rejection is part of life. Whether we get turned down for a job, an RFP, a potential date, the love of our life, someone doesn't let us into traffic, forgets to hold a door open when we have an armload of groceries, it's just life. It's not a Federal offense. People are self-absorbed. It's not other peoples' jobs to make us happy.
I have no clue what this guy's problem is. There is no way I was a good match for him on any level. Experience has long shown that someone of that age bracket- especially someone who wants children- has no interest other than a hookup with an older woman. That kind of ugly reaction to someone's drawing a reasonable boundary for personal protection is fascinating.
It also speaks volumes about the nature of the world we are living in today.