Jenny's fur coat (the story of the Zoller family between the years 1930-1952)

Chapter 1 - An important visit to Hertsa-Bukovina (Jenny)

It was an overcast day in March 1930. The wind was blowing hard but the surrounding snow that had fallen a week before had almost completely melted. He arrived in the early evening. I saw him from my second-floor bedroom window as I looked down the gravel pathway. I saw how he got off the cart. It was a rather shabby cart with two black horses in front. He came from Dorohoi, a two-and-a-half-hour ride away. I saw how he shook hands with the coachman next to him and how he got off the wagon as he looked at the big house up the hill – my parents' house. He zipped up his heavy coat and when he looked towards the house, I immediately stepped back for fear that he would see me in the window. A few seconds later I brought my head closer to the window again, this time gently and slowly so he wouldn't see me. He took sure steps towards the front door up the gravel path. It was hard for me to see his face and the black hat on his head blocked part of his face but from what I remembered he was a handsome man but older than me. Dad said this morning that he asked to meet with him, and Dad agreed. Then Dad asked his Jewish friends from Dorohoi about Joseph and his family, and he heard that Joseph was a scholar and trained as a lawyer in Bucharest. I am 16 and a half years old. I was born in Boto?ani, and I studied for about two years at a boarding school in Bucharest.

He must be a great man of the world. Maybe he even visited outside of Romania. Will Dad agree that we get married? Where will my life with this man lead me? I wondered. I was excited even though I didn't know him except for two short meetings at the local market. He asked for my name the first time we met and the second time he blew a kiss in my direction. Suddenly I heard a loud knock on the front door downstairs. Following it, I heard my father's footsteps and the door opening. They must have shaken hands or hugged. I couldn't really tell. And my thoughts flooded me with questions. He is Jewish but is he religious who observes the Sabbath? Does he have brothers or sisters? Are his parents alive? Where did you grow up? Will this be his first wedding? Did he have other wives? I had no answers. I tried to listen to what was being said in the living room but from my room on the second floor the words sounded like a long unending sentence of gibberish. I couldn't understand what they were talking about. I also heard my mother say something and a response that sounded like a polite giggle. Does he speak German or Yiddish or only Romanian? I thought to myself. Does he like music? Does he play the piano like me? Maybe he likes to sing, and we can sing and play together... What helplessness it is to be here alone. I wondered if I would be called to meet with him. Mom said I probably won't see him tonight. That this is an initial visit to between men and that only if my Dad agrees, they will schedule another meeting where I can meet him. In the Leibovitz family, things always work according to plan. I usually liked how my parents protected me and established order and routine in my life but this time it felt a little suffocating.

I went back to the window and glanced again in the direction of the cart. The coachman was still sitting there. He must have lit a cigar and was smoking because near his head I saw what looked like a cloud of smoke. He must have been waiting for the man who was talking to my Dad in the living room. I don't know much about him. I only know that his name is Joseph Zanfil, and that he is a lawyer from Dorohoi who is looking for a Jewish wife from a good family. Maybe this woman is me? Maybe he will be my husband, I thought to myself, and I didn't know how I felt about this thought. Am I a man's wife? Maybe even a mother soon. It seems imaginary. Breathe. Breathe. I reminded myself. Footsteps and giggling were heard from downstairs and then I heard the main front door of the house open and slam back probably on the guest's way out. Again, I cautiously approached the window and saw him walking down the path towards the cart with his back to me. I remembered that I once read in a German magazine that if the lover turns around then it is a good sign, but he did not turn around and continued resolutely to the cart. When he got to the cart I turned around, intending to run and ask my parents about the visit, but just then I heard them going up the stairs together. Dad peaked in first. He was smiling and looked calm. Mother also entered after him.

"Well... say something" I pressed. "He's nice!" replied Dad. "He is smart. He has good eyes.' "Yes, ayin tovah" added mother. "He's a bit older for you, Jennika, almost thirty years old, but I was also impressed." He studied in Bucharest; he has a profession.” said mother. "His parents own a bar, so it feels like we're already family," grinned Dad who himself owned a liquor factory. "We'll wait to hear what you think after you meet"... "Wait" I said. "So, is there another meeting where I can meet him and talk to him?" They both nodded together in almost perfect sync. "He will come with his parents Frau Deborah and Herr Hershko Zoller from Dorohoi to meet with us next Thursday. It's a long drive so we'll be ready for them. I will talk to Ciprian who will prepare bottles of good wine from the warehouse. Susanna will be able to cook Rugelach for the guests." Wow I thought to myself. It's really happening. There is a lot to do until Thursday. Maybe this is the man of my life, and I should be ready. "It's all right, Shindella. Breathe." said mother. Shindella was my legal name on my ID card, but I was always called Jenny or Jennika. When Mom called me Shindella it was rare and often to tease me. At the boarding school in Bucharest I was also called Shindella, I remember. "We will organize everything," added mother. “All you should do next Thursday is dress up and impress their family. We will also invite grandma to be impressed. Everything will be fine. Don't worry Jennika." I was curious how the guy was convinced to ask for my hand after he barely saw me twice before and we didn't speak more than half a sentence.

"I'm going down to my office" said Dad and turned around in the direction of the stairs to go downstairs. Mom came up to me, kissed me on the head and said: "Everything will be fine Jennika. God watches over you. Go to sleep. Tomorrow is a busy day.”

I had so many questions to ask Mom about this guy and Thursday, but I realized it was too early to bombard her with questions. Maybe I will be married this year, 1930, I thought to myself and tried to remember Joseph's walk from the cart to the house. I didn't see his face clearly this time, but an inner voice told me he might be the one. Dad's smile when he entered my room it said it all -Dad loves me and will choose the best for me, I thought. I wish it was Thursday already.

Chapter 2 - Honeymoon after the wedding (Joseph)

I left the house with a deafening slam of the door, put on a wool hat, zipped up my brown coat and started walking towards the neighborhood bar. It was a walk of less than ten minutes and I walked with quick and nervous steps. She won't tell me how to live, I thought to myself. It had been barely five days since the wedding, but it felt like a month. She is a little girl after all. Spoiled and dependent - And I'm a man. A man who has been through a thing or two in his life. A lawyer. I won't be sitting at home on my honeymoon with my scared new wife while all my friends are drinking and having fun at Dorato's bar. I offered for her to join me, but she refused. Maybe it was a mistake to marry her. I shook my heart. Or maybe I just need to give her time to grow up. After all, she was always protected. Maybe it's time for her to grow up. I imagined she must be crying now. From the little I got to know her in the days after the wedding, I realized that she was no stranger to crying. She had already cried several times since the wedding and not even a week has passed. Both father and mother warned me about her and that maybe she is not strong enough, but she is Jewish and comes from an established family like I always wanted. She will get over it... I convinced myself. When I saw the lantern lit above the Dorato bar further down the street I could already imagine the taste of the alcohol in my mouth.

My family owns a bar and I married into a family of alcohol producers, I chuckled to myself. "We will never run out of alcohol at home" is a phrase I have been thinking about since I first visited the family home four months ago. I really liked her Dad Moishe. An impressive and pleasant person. Her Mom was also nice, although quite suspicious. Moishe seemed to love his daughter very much. He agreed to pay for all the wedding expenses and even gave a generous wedding gift that will undoubtedly serve us in the future. He also gave us a house to live in until we were financially established. It doesn't look like we'll be running out of money anytime soon. With my job as a lawyer and her parents' money the future looks brighter than ever. There are even rumors in town that Jenny's father has a box of gold coins that he has hidden in the ground. I wonder if these coins will be mine one day. But living in her village for a long time is something I refuse to do. Village life seems boring and empty to me. I always preferred people and nightlife to animals and spaces. In my imagination, I already saw myself returning to Bucharest to the cafes and casino at the Europa Royal Hotel that I love. I love the big city life. The well-groomed women. The nightlife and gambling. The card games. Yesterday when I told my scared new wife Jenny that I wanted us to eventually move to Bucharest she cried. She cried that she would miss her parents and did not want to live far from her grandmother. She's a baby, I thought to myself. She doesn't know the world and will have to eventually grow up. It feels like I've married a little girl. There is an age gap between us of thirteen years, but it feels like thirty years. Everything will work out, I thought to myself. She will get pregnant soon and maybe motherhood will calm her down and give her meaning. Wondering how I always wanted to be a father was the last thought that crossed my mind as I pushed open the heavy wooden door of the Dorato.

When I saw the amount of people inside, I smiled. I'm home, I thought to myself. It's not Bucharest but it will be enough for the evening. A small vodka drink and then I can join the card table in the corner. In the corner of my eye I caught my friend pointing at the wall clock as if to say that it was time that I finally arrived. I shrugged my shoulders as if to say I'm here (and better late than never). The night is still young. I'm a married man but there's good energy here in the bar, I reflected. Time to order a drink. Honeymoon or no honeymoon. "Vodka with ice, v? rog" (please).

Chapter 3 - A second child is born (Dorina)

I looked longingly at the small, helpless baby lying on the sheet. He was so small and pink. This is my brother Harry, I thought to myself. I am six years old but already a big sister. "Will he love me?" I asked and looked with wide and curious eyes at mother. "Sure, Dorina" replied Mom. I looked at her, I saw sadness and tiredness on her face. Mother's health was not good, and she was very sad since she lost her mother, Grandma Rachel. A few months after grandma passed away, grandpa married the aunt, grandma's little sister. But when I looked back at my new brother I smiled. Fratele (brother). I'll have someone to play with, I thought. But then I remembered that he is still small and by the time he grows up I will probably be an even bigger girl. When will he talk to me? When can we dance and play in the snow together? Build together a snowman with a carrot nose. I had a lot of questions but another look at Mom made it clear to me that this was no time for questions. Dad didn't come home every evening. Sometimes Mom said he stayed to sleep in the office, but I don't remember seeing a bed in Dad's office when I visited there. It seems a bit strange to me. Daddy should come play with me and read me a bedtime story, I thought. Sometimes he came at night when I was already in bed and talked strangely to Mom. Sometimes they also shouted at each other. Mom called him drunk, and I didn't understand what it meant to be drunk. I once asked a friend in kindergarten, and she told me that there are people who drink a lot of wine and beers and drinks and then talk strangely and do nonsense. I hope Dad isn't drunk, I thought. Now I have a little brother and he cries a lot and Mom is tired. And where is my father? Just then Sonia entered. Sonia was the housekeeper and the one who nursed the new baby. Sonia had a child of her own and because Mom couldn't breastfeed, Sonia agreed to breastfeed Harry.

Chapter 4 - Bells of War (Jenny)

"I think a war is coming" I said and looked at Joseph. "We have to prepare; the Germans are dangerous, and the Romanians have joined them" I emphasized. "The Russians will protect us, Jenny" he replied impatiently. "We need to prepare" I repeated and emphasized but it doesn't seem that my husband of the last 11 years gave importance to it. Since our land was occupied by the Red Army of Russia, life has become less predictable. Tanks on the streets of the city became common. Little Harry was excited when a Russian soldier put him on the tank for a tour of the square, but most people didn't want to see Russian tanks on the streets. It is true that the rumors about the fate of the Jews in Germany, Poland, and Hungary were much worse, but almost two years after the German invasion of Poland, it seemed that the war was coming even more sturdily towards us. Parts of Romania were already taken by foreign armies - Transylvania in the north was occupied by Hungary and Dobruja in the south by Bulgaria. "You worry too much!" said Joseph. "If Germans and Antonescu's Romanians invade our territory and Russia, they will suffer a painful defeat," he said. But it didn't calm me down. The Russians deported my father, my stepmother, my sister Koka, and grandmother to Siberia in Russia, they took their house and the alcohol factory, and I didn't even have time to say goodbye to them. Years later I will be told that two Ukrainians murdered my father after he paid them to cross the river in a small boat. They took his money and started to cross the river, but he never reached the riverbank on the other side. They murdered him and threw his body into the sea. Bloody Ukrainians. Lucky that my stepmother, my sister Koka, and grandmother managed to reach Siberia alive.

And I, with an eight-year-old girl and a two-and-a-half-year-old baby, trusted neither the Russians, nor the Germans, and certainly not the Romanians who switched sides and now cooperated with the Nazis. "There are rumors of Nazi attacks in Romania including a pogrom of Jews in La?i, I heard it on the radio" I insisted, but there was no one to talk to. Joseph was in his own world reading from his notebook while ignoring me. The month of June 1941 brought with it pleasant weather in the evening, so I opened a window to let some air into the house.

Chapter 5 - Yellow Star of David (Joseph)

I looked from the window of the house to the street. The street was empty. I reflected on the conversation with Jenny last month about the war and the fact that the Nazis might invade the area where we live. Unfortunately, she was right. The Germans' Operation Barbarossa against the Red Army brought the Romanian Army supported by the Nazis to our area. Starting tomorrow, July 1st, the Romanians demanded that all the Jews in the city sew on their shirts and coats cloth hangings of a yellow Star of David while we walk around the city. Refusal to wear it can lead to imprisonment or worse. It felt stupid. "They mark us like cows, like the Germans did in Poland," said Shlomo, the Jewish salesman at the corner store. Maybe it's time to leave town, I thought to myself. But where will we go? With Romanian documents and under Russian rule there are not many escape options. Escaping into Russia does not seem like a smart move. I hoped that Stalin would be able to repel the Romanians and the Nazis, but the fear started to seep in. The Nazis were determined and continued to spread in Europe and the Romanians feared a Russian takeover more than a German takeover. Maybe even powerful Russia will fall. Who would have believed that the Nazis and Hitler would conquer most of Europe. The future suddenly looks foggy.

Chapter 6 - Chernivtsi Ghetto (Harry)

It was a snowy night in October of 1941 and the Romanian soldiers were impatient. Shouting and urging, they gathered family after family and put them all on the carriages parked at the end of the street. Dogs barked loudly and the gap between the screams of the soldiers and the silence of the people being led to the carriages was extreme. I tried to say something, but Mom gestured with her hand over her mouth, so I kept quiet. I held hands with my mother on one side and my sister Dorina on the other and curiously walked with everyone to the street. Mother wouldn't let me take my wooden horse with me and I was sad to leave it behind with the shouting soldiers. Mother cried and father tried to speak to the soldiers in Romanian. They pushed him and laughed at him, and some spoke in a language I did not understand. We continued walking and got on the carriage. I asked Mom where we were going but she didn't answer. Just kept crying. Father followed us into the carriage, and we all traveled together with other families. Neighbors and those I did not know. It was a long drive - I slept and woke up several times. We drove and saw many soldiers on the way until we reached a metal gate with soldiers beside it. They opened the gate, and our carriage went in. I saw that there were wire fences surrounding the area. The soldiers repeatedly shouted through the loudspeakers in a language I did not understand. Someone in the carriage said that they said in a foreign language that "anyone who tries to get out of here will die". I did not understand what it meant. What does it mean to die? I'm only three and a half. Dorina also started crying and Dad wiped a tear from the corner of his eye. I didn't cry. Someone from the carriage said something I didn't understand “Dobro pozhalovat ghetto Chervivtsi”. “This is a ghetto" whispered father. "Ghetto for Jews".

Chapter 7 - "Dorina, take care of Harry" (Dorina)

Dad sat me and Harry down for a chat. He had a serious look. "Dorina, Harry, listen to Dad" He looked at us and I looked at my brother Harry. I didn't understand why Dad was so serious. "Do you remember that we were in the ghetto last year until the ghetto was closed?" I answered yes. It was an unpleasant memory that lasted several weeks. Harry didn't remember. He was three-and-a-half years old then and now he is four years and two months old. "So, we're going on a trip again," said father. His look was serious, and I didn't feel like I wanted a sad trip or sleep in a hard wooden bed like on the previous trip. "I don't want to!" I answered. And father smiled. He explained that there was no choice and that everyone goes on trips during the war. Dad couldn't explain to me exactly where we were going. I asked him if it would be a short trip like that to the ghetto, but he didn't know. He said that maybe this time the trip will be longer. I didn't want to go on a trip. Mom told me that we were lucky that we returned home from the ghetto within a month and that now after six months at home it is time for a new trip. This time we will go to a place called Transnistria. "At least the weather in June is nice so you don't have to worry about snow…" said Dad. "Niedlich (cute) Dorinka" my father addressed me. "You'll have to babysit Harry if Mom and I are at work or away from camp during the day, okay?" I nodded in agreement. My brother at that time was quite annoying. He kept asking questions and playing with his toy cart, but I knew that if Dad asked then it was important.

Chapter 8 - Labor Camp (Jenny)

In the morning, we left with luggage on the way to Transnistria. This was not the family's first trip. Everyone was a little worried. Joseph tried to convey confidence so that the children would not be afraid. Harry was playing with his walking stick which was corn leaves; he wasn't that interested in what was going on around him. Dorina stayed quiet and that's how we arrived at the train station with the new documents they gave us. There were Romanian soldiers there and many Jews who were about to be exiled like us. Joseph told the children that we were moving east towards Moldova and Russia. We got on the train for a long and difficult journey that lasted several days. Every now and then the train stopped but we were not allowed to get out of the locked cars. People cried. There was almost nothing to eat or drink. Some people tried to entertain the children, but everyone already wanted to reach the destination. When we arrived, they separated us from the children, but I was happy to see that Dorina was holding Harry's hand. I thought to myself how at the age of ten she already behaves like a little mother and looks after him. After medical tests both Joseph and I were assigned to work in a quarry called cariera de píatre. Several times in the following weeks we all went all night from the camp to the quarry to work hard like Jewish slaves in Egypt. Dorina was a good girl in the difficult walks and Harry played with the sticks that he picked from the endless cornfields around with one hand and with the other hand, he grabbed the strap of the bag that Joseph was carrying on his back. During the difficult walks it was important to be alert because occasionally Ukrainian farmers would attack the walkers and cut the straps of the bags to steal them with long knives that they held in their boots. In my backpack was my favorite fur coat. The one that helped me remember Mom and Dad and feel like a woman. I didn't have many valuables left besides it - my children, my husband, and the coat were my whole world. Sometimes I wonder what my Mom and Dad would think if they saw my hands and face now. The delicate hands that played the piano are now dirty and hard. My back hurts from carrying the heavy bags. I wonder if I will ever play again in the future. When we come back tired from working in the quarry, I always hug and kiss Harry and Dorina if they are awake. Joseph sometimes runs his hand over their heads. This has been going on for six months. We go out at night before the kids wake up and come back the next night. Dorina says Harry waits for us every night to come back and doesn't want to go to sleep but often, he falls asleep before we arrive. I never wake him up but sometimes I kiss his forehead when he is sleeping. Sometimes I think he feels it. In the shack where we live, there is not much space and no privacy, but we have gotten used to that as well. Dorina says that Harry does not play most of the day with the other children. He is already a four-and-a-half-year-old big boy. But he doesn't seem to understand what's going on here. Sometimes he helps the girls in the kitchen to collect twigs and sticks for cooking. Dorina cooks some potato skins for him and the other children. He likes it. My poor boy. Maine Nebekh.

It's good that he is disciplined and listens to Dorina. Last week before the Germans came to inspect the camp, the Romanians crowded us all into the barracks and warned us to be quiet. When a baby started crying, the people debated whether to suffocate the baby or risk everyone's lives if the Germans entered the barracks to investigate the meaning of the baby's crying sound. I saw the panic in people's eyes. Eventually the sound of the baby's crying stopped, and I was afraid to ask if it was because she suffocated or if she just stopped crying. The morning routines of the Romanians in the camp are also difficult. They keep us all in line early for counts. A few days ago, in the middle of the daily count, Joseph decided to tie his shoelaces. The Romanian guard who hit him hard with the leather whip caused poor Joseph to let out a cry of pain and a juicy curse in Romanian. Maybe it was from heaven. Since most of the Jews in the camp spoke Yiddish or German, the Romanian soldier was surprised to hear a curse in Romanian and asked Joseph how he knew Romanian. Joseph said that he studied law in Bucharest. This was the beginning of a strange and self-interested friendship between the depressed prisoner and the bored officer. The officer offered to help us if we gave him valuables and Joseph decided to sacrifice my precious fur coat. I understood the need, but I was so sad to give up the coat. Joseph promised that he would buy me an identical coat after the war, but I didn't want a new coat, just my coat. In exchange for the coat, the Romanian officer agreed to secretly put us on a travel train from the camp to Romania. This is how we arrived back in Dorohoi, Joseph's hometown, in December 1943.

Chapter 9 - Return to Dorohoi (Joseph)

I couldn't believe when the train stopped near Dorohoi how much I missed my hometown. But I was sad when we got to my parents' house and found out that Dad was no longer alive. I lost my mother years before. We settled in the attic of my parents' house, and I felt like I had come back to life. Within a few months I was able to be elected to be the deputy mayor of Dorohoi. It felt like a resounding success. Joseph Zoller, Deputy Mayor. Neither the Germans nor the Romanians will overthrow us, the Jews of Dorohoi. Shema Yisrael, Adonai Eloheinu, Adonai Echad (The Lord our God is one God). Last week I helped a Jew from the Segal family. They sent his son a recruitment order for hard work and after consulting with me I decided as the deputy mayor to issue the son a work permit as a firefighter in the city so that he would not be recruited for work. It felt like a success. Saving a soul in Israel is like saving the whole world.

Chapter 10 - Release at Age Six (Harry)

It is April 1944, and I am already six years old. We were finally released. Father said that Antonescu had lost power and Romania had returned to supporting the Allies against the Germans. Our war is over. Father wants us to return to Bucharest and mother wants to return to Hertsa, but Hertsa is already part of Ukraine and there are almost no Romanians left there. Years later we will find out that my grandparents' house in Hertsa was divided into four properties and given to four Ukrainian families. In the meantime, we are still in Dorohoi, but father is pushing us to move to Bucharest.

Chapter 11 - Immigrant ship to Eretz Yisrael (Joseph)

The last seven years in Bucharest had not been easy, I thought. Returning to the city after the war is not what I thought it would be. It is true that Harry goes to the local school, and we even become young communist youth leader, but the city has lost its charm, or I am no longer the same person after the war. Jenny has changed too. Communism took over Bucharest. Even my brothers who have recovered from typhus and sometimes come to visit from Mogilev and Boto?ani do not feel like close family. Only Jenny Harry and Dorina can understand me. After failing to revive my career as a lawyer I did a course in bookkeeping, but the income is barely enough for our small, rented flat. Ever since Dorina finished high school at a leather processing school and immigrated to Israel at the age of 18, she has been pressing for us to join her there. Maybe it's time. There is a ship called Transylvania that leaves for the port of Haifa in Israel in a few days. I am debating whether to immigrate with Jenny and Harry to Eretz Yisrael. As Jews maybe they will accept us there, maybe it will be easier to work there because working as a Jewish lawyer in Romania after the war is not easy and bookkeeping does not bring enough income. They hate us here. We are underestimated. It is true that half of the Jews of Romania survived the war, but sometimes I feel that the Romanians would have preferred that the other half of the Jews in Romania had also become extinct. On the other hand, a sharp transition to a new country with a new language and a new culture will not be easy. But it's hard to be away from Dorina and family is the most important thing. My parents always said that too. We are a small family now. Harry is already 14 years old and deserves to be a proud Jew. Maybe in Israel we will be able to flourish as a family again.