The January Childhood Trauma Newsletter: Stop Intrusive Thoughts in Their Track!

Welcome to the January 2024 Childhood Trauma Newsletter. This month, it was put on my heart to share strategies to help children reduce intrusive thoughts. If your child has an active imagination, they are likely experiencing some intrusive thoughts that could increase their anxiety, and this article will help you understand what they are and how to help your child manage them.

Intrusive thoughts are unwelcome and distressing ideas, images, or impulses that involuntarily enter an individual's mind. Children, like adults, can experience intrusive thoughts.

It's important to note that occasional intrusive thoughts are a normal part of human experience, but persistent or distressing thoughts may require attention.

Here are some common types of intrusive thoughts that children may experience:

Fear-based thoughts:

• Fear of harm to oneself or others
• Fear of accidents or disasters
• Fear of getting sick or being contaminated

Aggressive thoughts:

• Thoughts of harming others, even loved ones
• Violent or aggressive impulses
• Fear of losing control and causing harm

Inappropriate thoughts:

• Sexual thoughts that may be uncomfortable for the child
• Socially inappropriate thoughts or behaviors

Perfectionistic thoughts:

• Obsessive thoughts about doing things perfectly
• Fear of making mistakes or not meeting certain standards

Magical thinking:

• Irrational beliefs that one's thoughts can influence events
• Superstitious thoughts or fears
• Religious or blasphemous thoughts
• Intrusive thoughts related to religious beliefs or taboos

Unwanted memories:

• Intrusive memories of past traumatic events
• Memories that trigger anxiety or distress

Health-related thoughts:

• Obsessive worries about illness or physical symptoms
• Fear of germs or contamination

Intrusive thoughts are more common in children who have experienced trauma, loss, and abuse. They may have intrusive thoughts as a way of processing or attempting to make sense of their experiences.

I know so many children (and adults) silently suffer from these thoughts, and it’s high time we make the unmentionable mentionable!

For people who feel safe in their bodies, intrusive thoughts are just mental noise they can easily forget about. But, those people with a hyper-alert nervous system will tend to overestimate the power of disturbing thoughts, assigning meaning that doesn’t belong. The meaning they assign to the thoughts can cause increased anxiety, panic, and uncomfortable feelings in their body.

When a thought creates anxiety, we typically try to suppress the thought. This makes sense because avoidance is our instinctual reaction to fear as humans.

However, suppression only causes more scary thoughts to arise. It’s like if I tell my child they can’t eat chocolate, and then all they can think about is chocolate. (I might know from experience.)

Stopping Intrusive Thoughts in Children

• Recognize these thoughts as a common occurrence across the human population. Ninety percent of people report experiencing scary, intrusive thoughts throughout their lifespan. They usually begin between 8-13 years old when major hormonal shifts are taking place in their bodies, but children with trauma may experience them as early as 4-5 years old. Knowing this will reduce your anxiety, which will, in turn, reduce the child's anxiety.
• Do not be afraid of the thoughts. Tell the child to think the thought and keep thinking it until they are tired of it. Eventually, they will get bored of thinking the same thought and will move on to something more interesting.
• Teach the child that thoughts cannot hurt us or others. We are afraid of the thought because we would never do it! It’s bumping up against our value system, creating fear and disgust.
• Argue with the thoughts using logic. Look into the probability of the fearful act happening. Search for reasons why the thoughts might not be accurate. For example, if a child fears that they might hurt someone, ask them what evidence they have.

Normalizing intrusive thoughts will be enough for some children. Others will need more help, and that’s normal, too. Please note that the above guidance is for educational purposes only. Every child will have different strategies that work and don't work.

Various forms of evidence-based exposure therapy are typically effective at reducing intrusive thoughts and anxiety.?

It's important to recognize that experiencing intrusive thoughts doesn't necessarily indicate a mental health disorder. However, if these thoughts persist, cause significant distress, or interfere with a child's daily life, it may be beneficial to seek guidance from a mental health professional. A trained therapist or counselor can help assess the situation and provide appropriate support and strategies for managing intrusive thoughts in children.

Always seek therapy with a licensed mental health provider if your child’s anxiety is interfering with their ability to learn, love, and/or play. I promise things can get better.?

To learn more about helping people cope with anxiety, trauma, and loss, subscribe to this free newsletter at BethTyson.com and receive it in your inbox.

Resource of the Month

A free childhood trauma assessment tool from the Australian Childhood Foundation.

From their website:

"Children form their sense of self in the context of their relationships. When these relationships are unsafe or threatening, children’s nervous systems can become reactive. If trauma can be assessed and intervened initially from a biological perspective rather than a behavioural one, we can settle the same states of arousal that inhibit children from engaging in relationships that can be a resource for their healing."

What’s New at Beth Tyson Trauma Consulting?

On April 23 and 24, I will present at the Pennsylvania CASA Conference on childhood trauma and loss. As a CASA volunteer and a member of the advisory board in Delaware County (formally known as Delco), I am so excited about this opportunity and honored to be a presenter at this yearly event! Registration is open, and if you are going, let’s plan to meet up. Register HERE.

For the past five years, I’ve advocated for the well-being of two children in the foster care system as a CASA volunteer, and it was a life-changing experience for all of us. If you are interested in getting involved or want to know more about what it’s like to be a CASA volunteer, please contact me for more information. If you don’t have time to volunteer but want to donate to this cause, you can do so HERE.

Coming Soon: Sullivan Goes to See Mama

I took a much-needed break from work in December to spend time with my family and enjoy the holiday season. I also continued writing and editing my 2nd children’s book, Sullivan Goes to See Mama: A story to help children cope with supervised visitation.?This new book is a sequel to my first book, A Grandfamily for Sullivan, but it can also be read alone.

Thank you for weighing in on social media about what I should name this new book. Your ideas helped me make the final decision, and I can't thank you enough!

While writing the story, I learned that many children in kinship or foster care don't like the word "visit" in reference to their time with biological parents. Out of respect for those children, I decided not to use the word visit in my book. The book is a tool for children required to attend supervised visits with their biological family due to safety issues.

Other exciting news! I added a new character to the plot, and her name is Evelynne. She is the visit supervisor who ensures Sullivan is safe on his visit. Check her out!?

Free Webinar: Helping Kinship Families Cope with Ambiguous Loss

Please SAVE YOUR SPOT for my next free webinar for kinship families! It will take place:

Tuesday, January 16th, 2024

11:30-12:30 PM EST.?

There are only about 15 spots left. So don't miss out!

It is sponsored by Kinship Caregivers Connect, a non-profit founded by Angela Tobin in Ohio. If you know a grandparent raising their grandchildren, please share this registration link with them.?

Playing Now: Season 2 of All Connected - A Place for Belonging

I am one of the co-creators of All Connected: A Place for Belonging, a short-form animated series built for those who have experienced childhood trauma. This free series aims to educate viewers on how the brain works, how trauma impacts the mind/body and our relationships, and how healthy coping strategies and positive support networks can help us recover from traumatic experiences.?

A few of the topics covered in Season 2:

• Your most important relationship is with YOU
• What is therapy?
• How to choose a therapist
• Understanding triggers
• Strategies for healing from trauma?

If you are creating content, training, programs, or projects that need evidence-based information on children’s mental health and childhood trauma, please CONTACT ME.

Quote of the Month

Positive News from the Field of Mental Health

• Gene Clusters Reveal Brain Link to Anxiety Disorders
• A Potential New Treatment for PTSD
• The Nordic way: why the alternative Finnish approach to psychosis is going global

• Five things we’ve learned making a series on community-led mental health projects around the world

This newsletter has grown to over 30K subscribers who want to learn about trauma-informed care. Would you like the opportunity to be featured in this newsletter? If so, please CONTACT ME.

More Resources by Beth Tyson Trauma Consulting

• Check out my first children's book,?A Grandfamily for Sullivan. It is a heartwarming, therapeutic story about a grandchild raised by his grandmother due to unfortunate circumstances with his parents. The sequel, Sullivan Goes to See Mama, will be released in the next few months.?

• Join my private Facebook group,?Emotiminds. It is an educational space for people who want to learn about trauma-informed care.

• Subscribe to?my YouTube Channel?for webinars on various topics regarding childhood trauma and loss.

What is your biggest take away from this edition of the Childhood Trauma Newsletter?

See you online!

With hope, grief, and love,

Beth