‘Jacob’s Dad’

As Jacob's dad, I feel like I fail. A lot. Everything with Jacob is trial and error, and I made more errors than successes. Three nights ago, he was eating snacks, and he used his teeth to rip open the plastic packages. A piece of wrapper was stuck on his lip. Instinctively, I reached to pull it off his bottom lip. I told him it was plastic, and I was going to throw it away. He did not like that. Now daily, he will take out his snacks, and put both packages into his lips in defiance. During his walk yesterday with his mom, he kept perseverating on “plastic in my mouth.” This will go on for years. I look back on the many other times I tried to “help” that caused an unintended reaction.

Jacob allows me to shave him on Sunday mornings, he selects me to pray at most meals, and we have a very special tickle routine that he only allows me to do. Perhaps, I'm not that bad of a dad after all.

I do know that Jacob will be taken care of, in spite of my failures. I realized that on September 12, 2001. I was a Company Commander in the Army at Fort Bragg, NC. We were preparing our equipment to deploy because we knew our country was at war. One of my soldiers asked how I could be so calm having to deploy knowing I may leave Jacob fatherless. I quoted Psalm 68:5, “A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling.” This verse has been a comfort to me throughout our journey with Jacob.

We have been blessed with three amazing children, a remarkable community, a wonderful church, incredible friends, and a comfort that no matter the trial, Jacob is in good hands.

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