Jackie’s Journaling: Day 78 — Messed at Work! Worry not, you’re not alone

Let’s process the following statements, each one in isolation first, and then all together. Each statement is framed in terms of a standard Yes/No question. Do attempt answering these questions, and keep your score handy. I’ll come to it at the end of this post

1. I spend over?45 hours each week at work?with colleagues

2. My?engagement at work is low; I identify as millennial / Gen Z and identify with the quiet quitting movement

3. The Instances of?workplace-disconnect and discontent?have increased for me; this probably is a contributing factor to the mental health challenges that I face

4. I acknowledge that the single most significant predictor of quality of good life is?healthy and meaningful relationships

5.?A lot of my time is spent in posturing at work; making the right sound bites and doing the appropriate things to be noticed by significant seniors

6. A friend is someone with whom you can let your guard down; you are free of judging or being judged.?I do not have even a single friend at work

Great, now that you have gone through these questions, tabulate the number of questions which you responded “Yes” to. In case you are open to sharing, please share your score with me in the comments section or write back one on one.

For those who responded Yes on 3 or fewer of the questions, you can stop reading right away. The rest of this dispatch will not interest you. However, if you are someone who answered yes to 4 or more of the above questions, then read on further. I think we’ve got something that is right down your alley. And we can work on this together to make sense of a joint emotion that we’re facing at this time.

So here’s the encouraging bit — more than 80% of people reading this post would have answered “Yes” to 4 or more of the questions. I have been asking these questions informally to friends, acquaintances, and colleagues, and the median Yes answers have been 5 out of 6. While this maybe a disappointing statistic for the individual who responds, as a collective it signifies that feeling low or not yourself in the workplace isn’t an uncommon emotion. In fact, it’s normal to feel lost and disengaged, and there is nothing?wrong with you.

For those of us feeling under the weather, this awareness that you are not alone in this sensation does wonders. It’s transports you away from that sense of being in a lonely place and gives comfort that the experience isn’t uniquely yours.?As step 1, let’s acknowledge the ubiquity of the issue. The Mental Health pandemic is real, and a lot of it is triggered by the activities that we engage in during the predominant part of our day, i.e., during work.

I’m a firm believer, that in matters of health — be it physical, mental, or spiritual — a one size fits all model doesn’t work at all. Each of us have our unique orientations, beliefs, and make-ups, and hence appreciating what works for one individual may not work for another is paramount. There are several?organization coaches?available who specialize in diagnosing and working with exactly this?emotion of withdrawal and disconnect from work.

Apart from a curiosity and childlike interest in the space, I possess no credentials to add value to this predicament. Except the methods that I have experienced firsthand, and those which have been useful for me to bounce out of work troughs. So here goes, my techniques of battling the issue of low work engagement. I put these out in the public for 2 reasons: primarily for me to process my issues with more clarity and calm; and also, to benefit others who may be going through a journey where these experiences could support.

1.?Nurture friendships at Work:?the more senior you become, the tougher it is to make friends at work. Given the nature of competition, where most interactions are set-up as win-loose outcomes, it takes tremendous emotional security to approach engagements from a win-win outcome lens. Once this is honed, the ability to make friendships increases manifold — because you aren’t merely competing anymore. In case you are lucky to already have a friend at work, do all you can to nurture and develop it

2.?Find Meaning in your 9 to 6:?Create your own narrative that ties together all the excel sheets, power points and MS Teams calls that consume your work days. Research has established that people who feel connected to the meaning of their work demonstrate better morale and engagement levels. While organizations will create larger vision and missions, take time off to find your narrative. A clear meaning associated with process and outcome of work makes the workdays a lot more enjoyable.

3.?Pursue hobbies outside of Work:?Have something to fulfill your sense of achievement outside of work. If work is the only outlet of creativity and achievement, then you have put all your eggs in one basket, i.e. poor design in the first place. Pick a hobby, pursue a sport, nurture childhood passions — have at least one thing that gives you a sense of fullness apart and beyond your work

4.?Learn to switch off:?It always helps. The mind and body require rest. Getting in adequate sleep, appropriate nutrition and comfortable free mind time is quintessential to avoid burn out at work.

5.?If struggling, ask for help:?There are no stigmas in expressing the mental and emotional challenges you face at work. Find a confidante, in case institutional mechanisms don’t exist, to express your challenges. Asking for help helps unburden yourself, it’s not a sign of weakness or defeat.

Do write back to share what you thought about this dispatch. The list above is by no means exhaustive, and only indicative of the mediums available — should you feel disengaged or withdrawn or abandoned at the workplace. The moot point is to acknowledge that we all go through these phases, and there’s no need to be overly harsh or unforgiving on yourself. By exploring the tools available at your disposal, it’s possible to navigate these choppy waters and emerge largely unscathed.

P.S. In case this piece of writing resonates very strongly with you, do explore the alternative of working with a Coach. Trained Coaches will work with you at the emotional level (as against the cognitive level), and help you navigate these turbulences. If you so choose, you may also explore psychotherapy or counseling as alternatively.