IWD 2021: Why women are tired of the #challenge

I love to celebrate women.

I think women are incredible.

I had a strong role model in my Mum, who raised 5 kids while building a business. She didn’t always get it right, but she taught us good values and she was (and still is) ALWAYS my biggest supporter (and critic of course!).

I worked with amazing women throughout my corporate career – I have learnt from them, admired and respected them, and modelled their leadership.

I’ve had the privilege in the last 12 years of coaching and training thousands of women, helping them create a career that fulfils them and that they are proud of.

I am surrounded by a group of friends who continue to astound me in the strength, resilience and compassion they display, and the selfless-ness with which they support others.

I am literally drowning in incredible women in my life!!

And yet, every year when IWD rolls around, I wonder how to address it.

I speak at events, I attend events, I host events.

I "like" all the LinkedIn and Facebook posts, and I read articles written by women about what IWD means to them.

It’s a day of celebration of women – to reflect on how far we have come, and to pledge to do whatever the # says. But this year, I cannot help but feel uneasy about this day.

The impact that COVID has had on women, plus the horrendous allegations coming out of our Australian Parliament, the culture of violence against women in this country (1 woman dies every single week at the hands of her partner), along with the systemic issues in the corporate world I see every single day I work with my clients, leaves me feeling disheartened and frankly a bit of a fraud when it comes to the celebration part of this annual occasion.

And the articles and posts I am reading by many women suggest the same, and more. Many women are (rightly) angry at all of things I mention above, and at the lack of progress in equal rights for women (the UN still estimates at current rates of change it will take 100 years to achieve gender equity).

I keep thinking of the speech given in late October 2018 by Anne-Marie Rice, when she declared she was exhausted, while being recognised as the Leneen Ford AC Woman Lawyer of the Year, at the Women Lawyers Association of Queensland Annual Dinner.

And I think this is true of so many women when it comes to fighting for gender equity.

We are tired.

We have been choosing to challenge for a very long time.

Here’s a snapshot of my own personal challenges:

·        I challenged a sexually inappropriate encounter I had as a young lawyer in Scotland

·        I challenged an emotionally abusive partner when I was younger

·        I challenged the norm of climbing the corporate ladder and earning a big salary to create a more flexible work-life for my son

·        I challenged a man at a party who thought it was acceptable to openly insinuate that just because me and another (heterosexual)woman were hitting it off, we might consider a three-some with him (I lost a friendship over that challenge)

·        I challenge my clients every day not to accept the behaviour they are regularly subjected to in the workplace

·        I challenge my friends who raise red flags when they talk about how their partner acts towards them

·        I challenge myself to be more inclusive and remove my unconscious biases

·        I challenge the stereo-type that as a single woman I am somehow a failure and that I "need" a man to make me happy

·        I challenge men (and women) who talk about women in demeaning ways

And I've got it EASY. I freely admit my privilege, compared to so many women.

But yes, even still, I have been #ChoosingToChallenge, and yes, I will continue to do so.

And I wholeheartedly encourage YOU to do that too.

But at some point, our leaders need to step in, and step up. And that time is now.

Not tomorrow, not next year, not in 100 years. NOW.

So, today, I #ChooseToChallenge the leaders who can truly make a difference to do just that. Create policies, run enquiries, make changes to our political, corporate and societal cultures that will move us ALL forward.

We need action, we need courage and we need gutsy, change-making leadership.

Love to you all today, and always.

Fiona