I've lived two years in seven days

I feel like I’ve lived two years in the past seven days. Transparently, this has been extra hard to process because I have this brand new life to care for while simultaneously fighting for the lives (literally) and livelihood of our team, and the ongoing viability of the businesses that support these lives and the community. My phone is blowing up, daily - sometimes multiple - video calls with my team. Calls with customers, talking to vendors, partners, banks and suppliers. There are so many updates that are full of fear and anxiety – which in many ways is founded. All the while we have a new baby and all of our plans to stay home and help my wife have been blown up as we are both working to nurture this new life and keep our businesses going. So, before you stop reading, this is not another doom and gloom, COVID-19 response post – this is encouragement to you, and to me!

Very few of you know that I went through one of the hardest things roughly 11 years ago this coming month. Lots of loss, tragedy, financial strain, relational strain and much more. Don’t get me wrong, what I went through is small compared to what is happening on the global and national scale, BUT I learned some very important lessons. I thought I’d share these five things to encourage you, and to remind myself!

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It will be OK. Really, it will. That’s not to minimize very real losses, even loss of life, but when all the dust settles it will be ok. I lived in a lot of fear, uncertainty, anxiety and pain but I had –

• Family who never gave up on me, loved me, cried and laughed with me
• Good friends who loved and cared for me, listened and challenged me
• Somehow I fought and scratched and never went without, which leads me to #2

I’m a survivor – and so are you! We are all survivors – it’s embedded in our DNA. Giving up isn’t an option, it’s not that we are Americans – it’s that we are humans. It’s in our nature to step up, to fight, to go down swinging, to not give up. Which led me to #3

I’m not alone – especially in this time. Absent of WWII and 9/11, there haven’t been too many times where we are all in this together, and even more so in this situation because of the global nature of this event. That being said, I learned back then that I’m not the only one who went through bad stuff, who struggled, who was fearful. Which led me to #4

Fear is really an illusion, meaning what I dream up in my head is way worse than the reality. Again, there is plenty to be afraid of but my experience has shown me that the fears and anxieties are really way beyond the reality, so it’s up to me to push through. Which led me to the final one, #5

It’s a mindset – we’ve likely all heard the power of positive thinking, and there can be delusional thinking, but there is so much truth to this. Our minds are powerful, more powerful than we know. The stories we tell ourselves, the fears we believe, the thoughts we allow to spin in our heads WILL either discourage or encourage us. When I change my mindset, when I believe (not delusion, there is still productive paranoia) that this will pass, things will be better, that I have control over what I have control over then truth starts to become reality.

I get it - it’s easy to write these things down but harder to implement these lessons – especially when it feels like the world is crashing around us. Look, my wife and I own two restaurants in the city, and two of my closet friends and business partners own a lot of hotels – we are in the thick of the cratering of our economy. Hotels are virtually closed down, 4M ppl have been laid off in that industry, and our food service industry is being devastated. I know first hand what it looks and feels like. I mean, it is a very real thing that those two restaurants may NOT survive this, which affects me and my wife directly, and all of the people who work for my wife, but:

Are we panicking? No

Are we concerned? Yes

Are we giving up? No

Are we fighting? Yes

Do we control the outcome? Not completely

Are we going to give up? No

It’s a mindset for us. Not head in the sand, but head up and moving forward. Being transparent, authenticate, real, fighting, making moves, figuring out what’s next, communicating and putting one foot in front of the other.

Why am I writing you? You’re an owner or a leader of a business in our community. You may be my customer, some of you are my friends, but more importantly you are a human being fighting many of the same battles I am fighting. I want you to know you are not alone. My phone number is 865-740-0679 and my email is [email protected], call or text me. Ask me questions, ask me what we are doing, seeing, hearing and feeling. I am here for you, that’s no BS, no joke. If you need someone to talk to, someone who can listen and understand I’d be honored to hear from you.

It will be OK

You ARE a Survivor

You ARE NOT Alone

Fear is JUST an Illusion

Work on your mindset, it will set you free!