I've been feeling lonely all life...

Hello my lovely friends.

I am sitting here with a glass of wine and thinking about how personal shall I get in today’s newsletter.

And I’ve decided I am going to go very personal today as I want to talk about the topic that I know many of us internal carry.

I want to talk about my life-long feeling of feeling lonely.

But let’s start from the beginning.

It’s been a great week for me this end.

Energetically a great week.

I really felt alive and connected.

Coaching and connecting with people is my happy place.

I felt really good on Friday evening. Content and grounded.

I met a very very very very close friend of mine on Friday evening and (unexpectedly) something came up. ?

A topic of me (almost constantly) feeling lonely.

Sometimes I am aware of that feeling but most of the time I just live with it, it’s simply just there. All the time. Like a dull toothache you get used to. After a while you don’t notice it. Sometimes it flares up, you wait until it calms down and you carry on.

Out of nowhere I asked my friend, “Do you sometimes feel lonely?”

The answer; “Sometimes I do, yeah.”

I paused as if I was trying to remember something and said (to my own surprise) “I feel lonely all the time.”

“Do you?” Now a surprised question from my friend.

“I think I do. I really think I do. And I have done ever since I was a little girl.”

“Why is that?” My friend asked.

“I don’t know. I just remember always feeling lonely. No matter how many people I was surrounded by.”

***

If you are a spiritual person you have your own way of communicating with the Universe. Or shall I say – you know when the Universe is communicating with you. ?

The way I receive messages is gradual. A certain topic starts popping up on several occasions – seemingly unrelated to each other.

These days I know that something is up when the topic comes up 2-3 times in a short period of time.

We have been discussing loneliness (in general) with a few friends on different occasions. I have received TWO random newsletters on the topic of loneliness. A friend sent me a podcast on the topic of loneliness…

I have done a lot of internal work over the last few years. Cleared a lot of wounds, faced many scary topics, questioned and rewired many limiting beliefs.

The work never ends though. And when we are ready for the next lot – boom – here it is.

My feeling of loneliness has never been obvious. I don’t get anxious or depressed over it.

How could I? I have always had people around me. I used to be the leader of the pack – ever since I was a little girl. The popular one at school. Always in the groups of friends or colleagues or business acquaintances.

And most importantly – family.

Surrounded by all the people and yet – constantly feeling lonely.

Constantly feeling like something was / is missing.

***

If you are a therapist or a coach or a counselor or a psychologist – I can almost hear you shouting at me: “Michaela – it’s your own relationship with yourself that is missing!”

I know, I know. Don’t shout at me.??

I know that very well but because that feeling has been so subtle and has been sitting there all these years my conscious mind decided not to pay attention to it. Subconscious mind has been running the show. (as it always does)

Until last Friday.

And so the work continues and as I said – never ends.

***

I wanted to bring this up because if you are feeling lonely – I don’t want you to feel like you are the only one.

You are so NOT!

And I am also bringing it up because it is such an uncomfortable topic to talk about. It is super uncomfortable to admit that we are experiencing feelings of loneliness.

Simply because we feel we should have our sh… “sorted”.

But there is no such thing as “sorted”.

We are human beings. Full of emotions and feelings. That’s the beauty people!!! That’s the whole point of us being here.

To feel and to experience.

Not what other people (or social media posts) tell us we should experience but whatever it is that we are here to experience.

So if you are feeling lonely, first of all please know that it is OK and it is a normal human state to experience feelings of loneliness.

And secondly (and most importantly) what I would love you to get from this article is to understand that the feeling of loneliness we are experiencing cannot be cured by any other person – no boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife, friend.

No one can help us heal that feeling.

It is our own internal work that needs to be addressed. On some level we are disconnected from ourselves.

Evidently even after you have done years of work on yourself.

Still more to go.

Guess what I am going to be focusing on in the coming weeks and months??. Talking to Universe (and my coach) about where my feelings of loneliness come from and what my inner child needs from me so that she feels safe and not alone.

That’s my agenda sorted. ?? ?

Sending you so much love and if you want to connect – I am here my friend. ?

Michaela x?