It's Not Your Fault: Life with ADHD
and common misconceptions
I have always been referred to as
“SO ADD”
Since I was young it was more of a joke and a way to justify bad behavior it felt.
I didn’t actually learn the truth and reality about what ADHD actually is until I was around 37 years old!
Before that, it was just a laugh at my expense every time I did something that everyone around me deemed:
(fill in the blank)
For those of us also known as “high performers”, our friends and family have difficulty believing and accepting that our behavior is not always a “choice”.
If you can relate to this and ever felt misunderstood and confused, I’d like to share some common behaviors that people with ADHD struggle with and the science behind why:
“It’s Not Your Fault”
So no more of this!
10 Common Challenges of ADHD
1. Difficulty Staying Organized:
The Label: "Messy" or "Disorganized"
The Reality: Research shows that ADHD brains have differences in the frontal lobe, which affects the ability to organize and plan. It's not a choice; it's a neurobiological difference.
2. Chronic Procrastination:
The Label: "Lazy"
The Reality: Procrastination in ADHD is often linked to executive function deficits. These cognitive processes are crucial for initiating and completing tasks, making it a neurologically-based challenge rather than a character flaw.
3. Impulsiveness:
The Label: "Inconsiderate"
The Reality: The prefrontal cortex, which regulates impulse control, is often less active in those with ADHD. This isn't about inconsideration but a different neurological activity pattern.
4. Trouble Focusing:
The Label: "Easily Distracted"
The Reality: Dopamine, a neurotransmitter responsible for focus and attention, is often imbalanced in ADHD brains. Distraction isn't a choice; it's a neurochemical distinction.
5. Restlessness and Anxiety:
The Label: "Nervous" or "Overthinking"
The Reality: This internal restlessness, known as hyperarousal, is a recognized ADHD symptom. It's not mere anxiety but a pervasive state for many with ADHD.
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6. Forgetfulness:
The Label: "Careless"
The Reality: ADHD is associated with challenges in working memory, the system responsible for holding short-term information. It's not carelessness, but a limitation in cognitive capacity.
7. Emotion Regulation Challenges:
The Label: "Overreactive" or "Dramatic"
The Reality: Emotional dysregulation, supported by fMRI studies, showcases atypical brain activation patterns in emotional processing areas among ADHD individuals.
8. Poor Self-Image:
The Label: "Low Confidence"
The Reality: Prolonged struggles and misunderstandings, due to undiagnosed ADHD, can lead to a phenomenon called "learned helplessness." Over time, continuous failures lead to a diminished self-image.
9. Avoidance of Tasks that Need Extended Mental Effort:
The Label: "Lazy" or "Unmotivated"
The Reality: Tasks demanding extended mental effort can deplete neurotransmitter levels faster in ADHD brains, leading to quicker mental fatigue.
10. Hyper-focus Paradox:
The Label: "Obsessive"
The Reality: Contrary to popular belief, ADHD doesn't mean an absence of focus. Hyper-focus is a compensatory mechanism, where the brain channels intense concentration on stimulating tasks to enhance dopamine production.
So to anyone who does not have ADHD:
It has been amazing to learn so much about ADHD that explains why I am the way I am.
The most important step I have taken in the past 5 years has been learning about my ADHD in a way that helps me leverage my strengths and accept my challenges.
I cannot emphasize enough how critical self-awareness, self-compassion, and self-acceptance are on the path to reaching your full potential.
Now I am making it my life mission to help others through my work.
When you are ready, here are the ways I could help you:
PS - I really would love to hear from you!
Please respond to this email with any feedback or anything you would like to learn more about in a future newsletter.
Much love,
Ian
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