It's Not Your Fault

All of my life I’ve struggled with anxiety. I say this with anxiety as I type out these words! Anxiety is a term that is thrown around a lot now to reference certain situations or feelings that arise when something uncomfortable happens. It’s become a more nonchalant word in everyday language, so the actual meaning is up for interpretation. Anxiety is a legitimate mental disorder that significantly affects people’s everyday lives. Ever since I was about 7, I remember having this uneasy feeling that always seemed to manifest as a stomachache, but I never knew what caused it or why it was happening.?

You aren’t aware of what this is at such a young age, because it’s not usually talked about in pre-school or kindergarten. At home you learn what being scared or afraid feels like, but there’s not a direct explanation of the correlation between the two. Your brain typically isn’t developed enough to comprehend what brings this on and strategies to cope. Heck, even at my age I don’t fully know this. Anxiety can strike at any age, so it’s important to shed light on ways to view it from a more positive and adaptive angle.?

The feeling that something is wrong with you is a lot more common than you’d think. When you’re in a room full of strangers, it’s easy to think that no one could possibly understand what you’re experiencing. What’s happening in your brain has never been felt by anyone, and embarrassment fully overtakes whatever free thought is left. In children alone, approximately 5.8 million suffer with some sort of anxiety disorder. A fraction of children are blessed enough to have access to mental health services from the time they’re small, but this is completely foreign to so many other kids. Based on their parents’ accessibility to healthcare, this determines their ability to address the issue at hand. This is just the tip of the iceberg regarding nationwide access to mental healthcare services.?

I grew up most of the time being so mad at myself for thinking the way I did. I definitely thought that my brain was “broken”, and sometimes still do when my anxiety and obsessive tendencies come on strong. I found myself constantly thinking, “what is wrong with me?” and “why do I have to be the one going through this?”. The truth is, no matter how much you may look at it as a horrible weakness, it’s exactly the opposite. You are a FIGHTER every single day who is brave and dedicated enough to showing up nervous, despite the unease and lack of comfortability. Give yourself the credit you deserve! Your anxiety is a part of who you are, but it does not define you. When you choose to see it as an asset, the power it has over you will slowly diminish in time.