It's not you..its me. Finding the perfect company culture.

Company culture is about how you fit into it, not how a company fits into you.

A bold statement, particularly coming from someone who has worked in many different company cultures and commended for building an environment in which high performing teams thrive. But it has only taken me 20 years or so to realise that unless you have a seat at the top table, one person cannot change an entire company culture and you can get a whole lot of grey hairs getting wound up about the fact you can't.

Of course we all can impact a culture, create an ideal place to work for our teams and departments, encourage new and better behaviours, ladder up to management concerns. But the hard truth is, that a company culture comes from the top down and it can often feel rather lonely and distressing when you realise that you are no longer a perfect match or not really enjoying the values and behaviours of a company.

Apple, Goldman Sachs, Facebook, Nike and Netflix all have well defined company cultures - they nurture them and are bullish about protecting them. They are also very, very different. Would an Apple employee love Goldman Sachs, would the Nike employee excel at Netflix ? Conversely many other successful businesses that sit on the FTSE 100 or NASDAQ have on paper a well crafted culture. One that sits in the handbook, pops up at your annual review and appears on a few posters around the building. Yet in reality is not really consistently practiced and at times feels like the words are perhaps little hollow with no substance behind them.

Now we could debate which approach leads to a more sustainable business model, higher staff retention and holds more brand value, but that is a different discussion all together. The simple fact is, many businesses succeed regardless of their culture and within those companies many individuals thrive and many do not. Why ? Because you are an individual and while technically you may have the correct skill set or love the category, every company is like a person too. They have own personality, values and culture, be that intentional or not.

We make an active decision to work in the environment we choose. Yet often the rational aspects of a job are the first and at times only things we consider when stepping into a new company. 'I have the skills, big company, great salary, amazing career prospects, great medical' vs. 'Will I succeed in this environment, do the company's values really match mine, do I want to take the journey with them, is the business too cut throat, too warm and soft, what does teamwork and trust really mean to this business ?'

Just like in a personal relationship finding your own soul mate does not mean that your best friend would choose exactly the same type of person to be theirs. It is this type of thinking we need to consider choosing the right company to work for.

So here are my 6 top tips for navigating your way through company cultures

1: You can be fooled by appearances:

Just because a brand looks sexy on the outside, does not mean you will be the perfect fit. Apple is notorious for 'dating' mid to senior level executives up to 20 times before offering them a place. Its relentless passion, drive for perfection and customer obsession sounds very attractive and something you admire as a customer, but for many the stress and at times dogmatic approach can send some people over the edge. Is that Apple's fault ... hardly. It is ok to admire from afar.

2: You will get your heart broken at least once:

It was the perfect relationship, but circumstances change. The management team shifts, you sit there one morning and think .... is this the same company I joined 5 years ago? You have invested years of emotion and hard work to get where you are today, but you are not sure what that means anymore and have that nagging feeling you might just get dumped or overlooked. You talk about the good old days and realise that they are just that. You know you really need to face up to the truth.

3: It is time to end it:

You keep going around in circles, you are no longer happy. You do not like the behaviours, you start to become easily frustrated by actions and processes. You complain about the lack of culture or how if you were CEO you could improve it far too often. You keep thinking they will change, but their actions demonstrate they won't. Put simply you are not enjoying going into work anymore and wonder is it really worth it ?

4: Date, a lot before you settle down

Before you marry yourself off to 60 hour weeks, make sure you really know what you are getting yourself into. Investigate the culture - at interview stage, on the web, via contacts and if you can those who have left. Just remember what was not right for someone else does not mean it is not right for you. Test the waters, learn from your mistakes, appreciate that you grow and change. What was right for you in your 20s may no longer be Mr or Mrs Right in your 40s. Ask yourself, what is important for me today ?

5: People do deserve a second chance:

The culture went through a dip, there were massive staff layoffs managed badly, a merger has created a melting pot of differing opinions. It has been a really bad patch and you have weathered it through. There is a new plan in place, a new reinvigorated management team, a new vision, a new refreshed culture set out. This where you need to draw a line in the sand, give it a go. Forget about the last 12 months and enjoy the ride. It could end up being the perfect culture if you just give it a chance. And hey, if they cheat on you again 12 months down the track, you know what to do. But you gave it a chance.

6: Make sure you know what you really are looking for:

This is the most important point. Ask yourself the question 'what environments do you succeed and thrive in, which ones do you not ?' In a relationship you may list humour, attractive, a great personality, wants kids. Why would you not take the same approach for the company you are about to join. Hey, you spend more time there than with your partner don't you ? I have grown and changed my preferences over the past 20 years or so, but I now know that genuine, authentic, dynamic and never standing still are my perfect match. What are yours? Really ?

And if you already have the perfect match, well done, appreciate it, protect it, live that culture everyday and be the best example of it. But remember like any relationship you will have periods where you may have your ups and downs, but if your values match - you will have the belief to ride through most storms.

Melissa Hopkins is Founder/Director of Brand Collective. A strategic consultancy that specialises in brand and marketing transformation, employer branding and training and mentoring for start ups and businesses going through transitions.

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