It’s not you. It’s them.
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In this day and age, women know what they’re capable of on the clock. And we do a lot to show it. On top of our workloads, we clarify our career goals, map our achievements, ask for feedback, practice our negotiation skills, and even work with career coaches. In other words, we show up to perform —?all while making ourselves better at the jobs we do and ready for the ones we want.?
But the hard work doesn’t always get us as far as we expect it to.
Here’s a charming study finding: In 2022, researchers at MIT Sloan studying the gender promotion gap looked at assessment results of almost 30,000 management-track employees from a large retail chain, all of whom were ranked according to past performance and future potential. Their findings showed that on average, women received higher past performance ratings than their male coworkers. But women were also marked as having less future potential than their male coworkers. And potential, researchers found, is the factor that strongly predicted promotions.
On the one hand, this finding is a gut punch. On the other hand, it’s hard confirmation of our lived experience: that we are not, in fact, “the problem” in our own careers. This is extremely important information to have. So often, we women tend to blame ourselves when we’re not meeting our career goals. It’s a parallel we see at Ellevest when women are falling short of their financial goals.?
But the blame in both cases, financially and professionally, is not you. It’s them.?
When we’re talking about work, them is a “just fine” manager who recognizes your efforts with high performance review scores but also never promotes you —?or anyone who doesn’t look, sound, and act just like them.
So, what can be done? Well, you can work even harder to prove them wrong. Take less PTO to show them how committed you are. Nod along with their confusing and sexist feedback that you’re at once “too aggressive” yet “not assertive.” (That’s actual feedback I once got in a performance review.)?
No thank you. And, looking at the data, I imagine these additional efforts wouldn’t change a whole lot.?
Because it’s not you. It’s them.?
Unfortunately, this “just fine” manager will almost certainly continue to be “just fine” unless your company takes action to truly prioritize diversity — way beyond what they’re probably doing now.?
According to the latest Women in the Workplace report , women are still underrepresented across the corporate pipeline,?regardless of race and ethnicity, and particularly at entry-level and manager levels. The report states that at the current rate, it will take nearly 50 years to achieve gender parity for all women in the workplace.?
Women don’t have that kind of time to wait around.
If you have the means, look for the manager within a different department at your company whose team already reflects the world around them, or look for the leadership team of another company that does the same.
If you’re not in a position to leave, put your focus and drive toward your finances. Money is the power to leave a bad job, so enlist a financial expert to make a plan for that.
Be warned: Financial experts can be “just fine,” too. That’s one of the reasons we built Ellevest . So women don’t have to waste time, effort, energy, and literal dollars navigating a financial industry that was explicitly not built for them. Instead, they can work with our financial planners or advisors; they’re capable, they’re empathetic, and they get women — because they are women.
Do you have a similar experience? Share yours in the comments.
CEO | Board Member | Trailblazer | Propelling People, Ideas, and Organizations Forward.
1 天前Totally agree with Sallie Krawcheck. This one of the main reasons we moved our assets to Ellevest- and couldn't be happier with the service and mentality. Good advice as usual.
Empowering Professionals to Design a Purposeful & Fulfilling Life ?? | Heart-Centered Coach ?? | Former Luxury Brands Director ??
1 天前?? This resonates deeply! Thanks to working with a financial advisor and building a safety net, I was able to leave a toxic job and start working for myself without financial worry. What’s interesting is that I pretty much started from zero when I got my advisor — and yet, I left my job on a whim, comfortably, and got my business off the ground without hesitation. Having that financial foundation made all the difference! ??
Such a thought-provoking read—sad, but undeniably true. It’s interesting to note that Diana Alborch Escobar and I had a similar discussion just this week. We concluded that while we often feel the need to focus on self-improvement, we might already be doing exceptionally well. As the article aptly points out: it’s not us, it’s them.
Fractional Chief People Mover | Performance thrives when stress doesn’t win. I help leaders tackle what’s blocking success.
1 天前The reality of how much extra we do just to be seen is exhausting. But this kind of clarity is important—system needs to be changed for the better.
Head of Professional Women's Network Switzerland / Europe West Financial Accounting Advisory Services Talent Operations Lead
1 天前What a powerful and validating read that high lights an experience many women know all too well: being praised for past performance but overlooked for future potential. The data confirms what so many of us have lived — it’s not about working harder or “fixing” ourselves; the systemic biases run deeper. Her call to action also resonates: prioritize companies and leaders who walk the talk on diversity, equity, and inclusion. And just as importantly, take control of your financial future. Empowering women financially isn’t just about dollars and cents — it’s about freedom, options, and breaking cycles. Thank you, Sallie, for continuing to champion these conversations and solutions. We don’t have 50 years to wait for change — we need it now.