It's Not About You

My son Sam (on the right in the main picture here) has been inspiring me for a long time. He has been sharing a room with his brother Nathan, who is one grade behind Sam, since Nathan was put in a crib. Nathan stopped talking when he was 2yrs old, became a ball of frustration, and was diagnosed autistic shortly after.

Within 6 months of finally changing his diet at age 3 (other therapies didn't seem to be working) by eliminating gluten and most sugar and artificial coloring, Nathan's eyes opened up and he started smiling and communicating. He started what became a pretty remarkable recovery I'd say. Though, he was still autistic. He was still somewhat unpredictable--he might get frustrated at any moment. He was tough to play with sometimes. It wasn't really fair for his brothers or sister. Especially for his roommate Sam.

In no way was Sam getting, on the surface, things for himself. As kids, we have a hard time seeing past our needs and wants. It is just how it goes. Sam has some kind of compass for this that is unique. He somehow knows that it's not about him. And he gets a lot of love even when he's giving up his time, giving up his toys, giving up attention.

Sam just knows that when it comes to life, it's not about you.

The evolution of this plays into businesses.  The customer is number one. We are a customer-centric company. We really feel like this is the ultimate giving.  That "it's not about us. It's about the customer!" I've always had an issue with that. Calling it out as a virtue. It kind of feels the same to me as when people say they are so busy. Calling the fact that you don't know how to say "no" a virtue.

And I heard it on a podcast just a few days ago--Leadpages podcast. The lady was the CMO from Salesforce.com and talked about how they are just such a customer-centric organization. What? I realize you have customers, and they buy stuff from you. Beyond that, what other kind of company could there be? A product-centric company maybe? I suppose if you are the only business that makes the product, or the only one that can make the product, then you could do that. Maybe. But probably not.

Sam knew that it's not about you.

But I'm here to say, that it wasn't about Nathan either.

It wasn't about serving others either.

I'm saying, it is about us.

It takes me to a common line about love. Unconditional love. This is not what people think it is. And I don't mean to sound pessimistic. I am actually being quite optimistic. You do not need to separate yourself in order to serve someone you love. To serve your friends and colleagues. To serve your clients. Your customers. Abandoning yourself in the name of something virtuous--of unconditionally loving, or serving--this is an untruth.

This is the power of what Sam has taught me.

And to be fair, I have to bring all my great friends in on this, many who have become friends as clients and colleagues over time. Sam has been the glowing example of what I believe, in work and in life, that we must be doing. Everyone around me has been giving me an education that has helped me interpret what Sam does naturally.

When I'm doing work that seems so selflessly motivated, or giving my time to you as a friend, a client, a colleague... this is not just about you. It is about us. We are all connected, and this is our power to move mountains. Sam moved a mountain with Nathan. This year, Nathan was Offensive Player of the Year as the quarterback of his football team in his first season at age 10. I remember when he couldn't talk anymore. I used to say to other parents that Sam was Nathan's most important therapist (Nate had many over time). I realize now it was bigger than that.

It is about us.