It's Not You, It's Me!

The dating scene was tough for me. This was prior to the existence of e-harmony providing the ability to pre-qualify and swipe right to find a perfect match.

No matter what I did or how hard I tried, I could never get a relationship to work. Everyone I got involved with would soon drive me crazy. Just as frequently, I would drive them crazy. They would vanish, leaving me sniveling, broken hearted, confused, hopeless.

Looking back on those years, a universal spiritual truth was trying to reveal itself to me: We attract what we are.

It was difficult to admit, but in time I realized that each failed relationship was reflecting an aspect of myself that I did not want to see. Each man I dated was showing me something I was suppressing, avoiding, in denial of. The crazier they drove me, the bigger the mirror being presented.

No matter how much I whined and protested, mirrors never lie: I was attracting what I was.

To add fuel to the fire, I was exposed to the concept of soul mates. Although I was not sure how I would identify him, I began a quest to discover this enigmatic man who would somehow change my life.

Then, he arrived. Every part of me knew he was The One.

Problem was, I chose to ignore a loud inner voice advising that I was not supposed to be with this man romantically. Try as I might, our connection would not work.

I had the romanticized notion that soul mates are supposed to walk arm-in-arm off into the sunset, music fading, credits rolling. Instead, I learned that these other-halves are often magnification mirrors, helping us evolve by using the toughest of tough love.

This man illuminated my lack of self-esteem. He revealed how difficult it was for me to be authentic. He exposed my deepest fears, my disowned shadowed parts. He was an accurate reflection of the toxic relationship I had with myself. I had no idea who I truly was yet expected him to love me.

This soul mate pursuit was a futile attempt to fill in what I believed was missing pieces. I needed him to be the yin to my yang.

What I really needed was to reclaim my denied parts, stop being at war with myself and be the yin to my own yang.

Together, we went on a winding, tortuous journey of awakening. What unfolded was self-acceptance, an opening to know I deserved real love.

Then, the universe provided someone who reflected my wholeness, not my darkness.

By belonging to myself I could be with someone equally committed to our relationship. No longer running from my shadows, I could stand in the light of acceptance.

This process took as long as I needed it to.

And, I would not have been ready to be with my husband a moment sooner.

I thank the universe every day for knowing how to deliver backhanded, uncomfortable, wake-up mirrors. All so I could receive who I truly deserve without needing to swipe right.

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Royce Morales is a renowned spiritual trailblazer who has been teaching her innovative approach to inner transformation for decades. She developed Perfect Life Awakening, a spiritually-based program that takes you from triggered to empowered!

Perfect Life Awakening provides tools to discover and resolve sources of subconscious, self-sabotaging inner programming. This profound work brings enlightenment down to earth, and unlocks the door to your highest potential.

If you are struggling to find joy, meaning and self-love, this inner adventure can shift your consciousness, awaken you to a life of deservingness, and connect you to your authentic self.

Royce offers in person and remote group classes and private inner journey sessions using her empowering spiritual clearing techniques.

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