It's Not You

3 Key Tips to Help You Understand Your Inner Critic (And Start Overcoming It)

We all have an inner critic, to a greater or lesser degree.

(Although, granted, you can probably think of a few people who never seem to suffer with that particular affliction - not to name any prominent figures in particular!).

We all know what it means.

But, even if we're hugely familiar with the concept and the idea of an inner critical 'voice' - it’s not always easy to spot it or hear that voice clearly - in fact, many of us don't hear a 'voice' at all. And it's not always easy to see the sneaky ways in which it sabotages and impacts our daily lives - because they're very well hidden.

The job of the inner critic isn't to jump up and down and let you know it's there, after all - but to subtly and emotionally manipulate you into staying small and playing at a level that's less than your best. So it's pretty good at hiding, gently nudging and persuading - without you ever noticing it's there.

Maybe your critic shows up as perfectionism, the feeling that you're never quite measuring up.

Maybe it's a sense that you're just “not quite enough" or "don't really belong", no matter how much you achieve.

Or maybe you still suspect everyone thinks bad things about you, or assume that it must be about you when things go wrong.

Any of those sound familiar?

They're surprisingly common - and they're not the only ways that inner critical, imposter voice works.

But knowledge is power: to know your inner critic is to begin to understand it - and once you understand it, you can begin to manage it more easily.

So, let's look at 3 things you might want to know about that inner critic - and some tips to help you take back control.

1. Your Inner Critic Isn’t You At All

The voice in your head telling you that you’re not smart, attractive, or successful enough often isn’t even your voice, right? It’s just soundbites from the experiences you’ve had.

Think about the comments from your past: that teacher who wrote you off as incapable because you couldn’t run as fast as other kids. Or the well-meaning relative who criticised your appearance, making you think that your looks determined your worth (those are two my inner critic has been more than keen to throw at me in the past!).

Over time, these external criticisms got internalised, and now you’re the one repeating them to yourself.

You might think, "That’s just how I am," but it’s not. The truth is, that voice was built from other people's words and judgments. The more you see that your inner critic comes from outside of you, the easier it is to stop accepting it as truth.

Ask yourself this: Whose voice do I hear when I tell myself I’m not good enough?

Start identifying these sources, and you’ll gain clarity on how much of your self-doubt is based on someone else’s perception, not reality.

2. The Inner Critic Can Be Sneaky - It Shows Up in Ways You Don’t Expect

Sometimes the inner critic doesn't show up as loud, abusive thoughts, or thoughts in any real observable, definable form at all.

It might show up as self-sabotage - like the time you procrastinated on a big project because deep down, you didn’t believe you could do it. Or maybe it’s people-pleasing, saying yes to things that drain you because the critic tells you that if you say no, people will see you as difficult or unworthy of love.

When my inner critic led me into emotionally exhausting and manipulative relationships, I stayed trapped in them because I felt like I had to prove I was lovable by being perfect for others and living up to their expectations for me.

It wasn’t that I didn’t know how to set boundaries - it was that my inner critic made me believe that doing so would make me lose their affection or approval.

Where might your inner critic be hiding? Is it in perfectionism at work? Or an inability to say no, even when you’re burnt out? Spotting when it's at work can help you question and manage its influence - and start to take back control.

3. The Inner Critic Thrives on Fear, Not Fact

Your inner critic often amplifies your fears - fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of judgment - and makes them feel like facts. It convinces you that taking a risk will lead to disaster, or that making a mistake will reveal that you’re not cut out for success.

I remember, during times of uncertainty in my former business, making it all about me - convinced I wasn’t capable enough to step up and advocate for what I really wanted, and that if I did, the whole thing would come tumbling down. In the end, I DID learn to advocate confidently for myself - it was surprisingly easy to start to demand change when that fear stopped telling me I couldn't, wasn't going to be able to handle the consequences, might upset people and so on.

It wasn’t the reality that was holding me back - it was fear.

And what your critic doesn’t tell you is that these fears are HUGE exaggerations. Just because you’re scared of being judged - it doesn’t mean it’s going to happen. Just because the worst is a possibility - it's probably a minute one, compared with all the things that could go right.

Your critic will always have you believe that stepping out of your comfort zone is dangerous, but in reality, it’s the very thing that leads to growth.

In the work I do with my clients, we expand that comfort zone easily and painlessly, rather than having to push against it all the time.

How?

By calming that inner critic and releasing those emotional ties from the past (find out more about that here: www.betterbraincompany.com/shift-rapid-therapy )

Ask yourself: Is this fear I’m feeling based on fact - is it just an assumption? By questioning those fears, you'll weaken the critic’s hold.

It took me years to realise that my inner critic wasn’t the real me - and learning to quiet it has transformed my life. It's the whole reason I do what I do now - and I couldn't be happier to have let it go!

I'll be sharing deeper insights through my forthcoming masterclass: How to Overcome the Inner Critic (which will be live OR available to view afterwards).

We’ll dive deep into how your critic is showing up - and I’ll share actionable tools to help you shift your mindset and begin to break free from its influence.

We're not going for surface-level fixes, but real, meaningful change - complete with a workbook resource and access to me afterwards, in case there's anything in particular you want to work through.

If you’re ready to understand your inner critic, heal those wounds, and step into the success you deserve, I’d love to see you there.

Let’s start quieting that inner critic for good.

You deserve it.

RESERVE YOUR SPACE HERE:

https://www.betterbraincompany.com/post/how-to-overcome-the-inner-critic-and-create-the-success-you-deserve