It's Not Working From Home That Is Hard

Hear me out, in my particular situation (single, living alone and employed), it's not the working from home that is the challenge while we quarantine. Anyone can work from home, no matter how social and extroverted they are (which I am not, I'm heavily introverted). But, even as an introvert, it's not working from home that is the current challenge; it's the isolation and the unknown of the current situation that makes April of 2020 seem like it will never end.

I've done the set-up; I almost daily make my coaching space into day-job working space. I swap out computers, keyboards, lots of wires, and set-up a work desk. This extra 5 minutes to put together my space in the morning and then "tear it down" at night isn't a big deal; it is my current commute. When my day-job computer is at my desk, I get in the zone and work. When the clock strikes 5 PM, I commute back to my usual set-up and either jump into coaching or take an evening off. 

I'm getting more done during my 8 hours; fewer distractions are showing up at my cubicle, and I feel as though I can genuinely prioritize my work, schedule it, and get it done. Often I end my day feeling as though I've checked a lot of things off of my to-do list, and while the list is never-ending, it's still satisfying. When I'm in the office, there are days my to-do list doesn't even get opened - I don't have the time to make the time.

So, my space is functional I'm getting a lot of work done - then why do I find myself itching to walk my dog when the clock strikes 5 PM and have some air? I feel as though I need to escape in a way that is different from the typical office days. It's the isolation and the continual unsettling feeling of confusion and unknown around or current situation.

So, let me reframe this, there is a lot of stress in families right now - there is an impossible ask for parents also to be teachers AND employees 24/7, but there is a different type of stress for those of us who live alone. Zoom and Microsoft Teams can't rival personal interactions and the comfort that comes from those. You can't have a long hug with a partner, friend, or sibling. There is no natural comforting when a low point hits. And beyond that, we see the challenges others are going through and don't want to add to that.

This lack of contact is severe, even for the most introverted of us. Introverts still need interactions, just in a different way. Extroverts gain their energy from people - they thrive with parties, conferences, and large gatherings. Introverts, we gain energy alone, but our close intimate friends and family are just as important to us as being alone. We want to have long, deep conversations (no small talk, please), these feed and energize us as well.

While I can certainly understand the folks out there, who feel like they might not make it through quarantining with their family, try to remember that some of us are alone right now. Remember, solitary confinement is a punishment in prison and a form of torture. So, remember what might be driving you all crazy, is something others are missing.

As for the uncertainly, this one I'm not sure how to calm, but I do choose meditation to help deal with it. It helps me to let the uncertainty sort of bounce off of me - understanding there is nothing in the current situation I have control over. I cannot do anything to make the situation more certain, but I can try to sit in it and feel less uncomfortable in the uncertainty. So, that's what I do, I sit.

I urge you to try and understand what is the challenge right now with our situation, and I firmly don't believe it's where we are physically working. Are there things that pose as a challenge, absolutely, but underlying all of this discomfort is uncertainly, and, for me, isolation from the people I'm closest to and care about most. Understanding what's underneath will help you know how to address it - even if the answer is simply to sit.