It’s Not What You Say, It’s What They Hear

In communication, especially in sales and marketing, what you say matters far less than how your audience perceives it. It’s not about the words you choose or even the tone you use—it’s about the feeling you create when your message is received.

Why? Because people don’t process information objectively. They hear, interpret, and respond through the lens of their own experiences, emotions, and biases. Understanding this fundamental truth can transform the way you communicate, market, and sell.

1. Perception Over Intention

We often believe that if we explain our product, service, or idea clearly enough, people will understand its value. But communication doesn’t work that way.

• Why It Matters: People don't hear exactly what you say—they hear what it means to them.
• How It Works: Your audience will interpret your message based on their past experiences, beliefs, and current emotional state.

Example: A salesperson might describe their service as “affordable,” thinking it conveys value. But if the audience associates “affordable” with “cheap” or “low quality,” the message falls flat.

Key Insight: The intent behind your words doesn’t matter as much as the emotional impact those words create.

2. Selective Hearing: The Filter We All Have

Most people have selective hearing to some degree. They unconsciously tune out messages that don’t resonate with their needs, desires, or fears.

• Why It Matters: If your messaging doesn’t align with what your audience cares about, they’ll ignore it—no matter how compelling it is to you.
• How It Works:

Example: A busy professional scrolling through social media won’t stop for a post about “amazing accounting software.” But if the post says, “Stop wasting hours on spreadsheets—get your evenings back,” it cuts through the noise.

Key Insight: Speak to your audience’s problems and aspirations, not your product’s features.

3. The Emotional Impact in Sales and Marketing

People make decisions based on emotions and justify them with logic. Sales and marketing that focuses solely on facts, figures, or product specs often misses the mark.

• Why It Matters: The emotional experience your audience has when interacting with your message determines whether they engage or scroll past.
• How It Works:

Example:

• Feature-focused message: “Our CRM software has automated email sequences and customizable dashboards.”
• Emotion-focused message: “Spend less time on admin tasks and more time closing deals with our time-saving CRM.”

Key Insight: People don’t buy products—they buy outcomes and the feelings associated with those outcomes.

4. How to Make Sure Your Message Resonates

To craft messages that truly resonate with your audience, follow these principles:

A. Focus on the Audience, Not Yourself

Most marketing talks about the company or product. Shift the focus to the audience’s wants and needs.

• Example: Instead of saying, “We offer 24/7 support,” say, “Never worry about tech issues again—our team is here whenever you need us.”

B. Speak Their Language

Use the words and phrases your audience naturally uses.

• How: Pay attention to customer reviews, social media comments, and the language prospects use during sales conversations.
• Example: If clients often say they’re “overwhelmed” with their current software, use that term in your messaging.

C. Evoke Emotion with the H.E.A.T. Method (Humor, Education, Adding Value, Trust)

• Humor: Make them smile with relatable content.
• Education: Teach something useful to establish authority.
• Add Value: Solve a small problem upfront.
• Trust: Stay consistent and authentic.

D. Test and Adjust

Test different variations of your messaging to see what resonates best. Pay attention to engagement metrics and customer feedback.

5. The Impact on Sales and Marketing Success

When you craft messages based on what your audience hears—rather than what you want to say—you’ll notice:

• Higher Engagement: More people stop, read, and interact with your content.
• Stronger Connections: Audiences feel like you “get” them, creating trust.
• Better Conversions: Emotionally resonant messaging leads to more sales and loyal customers.

Example: A life coach who switches from “Sign up for my 6-week coaching program” to “Are you tired of feeling stuck? Let me help you create the life you deserve” sees more inquiries because the second message speaks directly to the audience’s pain and desired transformation.

Takeaway: Make Them Feel Understood

In communication, perception is reality. Your words, tone, and delivery all matter less than the emotional response they create. If you want your sales and marketing efforts to resonate, focus less on what you’re saying and more on how your audience will feel when they hear it.

When your audience feels heard, understood, and emotionally connected, you’ll find it easier to build relationships, earn trust, and ultimately drive sales.

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Discover the H.E.A.T. Method, a powerful strategy that combines Humor, Education, Adding Value, and Trust to help your audience "warm up to you over time." With this approach, you’ll turn casual introductions into lasting connections.

Learn more about the H.E.A.T. Method here.

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- Alan Stern

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