It's a TRAP! (part 2)
This is another excerpt from the book Choices: Creating a Financial Services Career by Dr. John Stolk and myself. It is also completely relevant right now with the Superbowl coming up.
Liked versus Respected
Do you think The Hoodie Bill Belichik cares if you like him or not?
News flash: he doesn’t give a damn if anyone even on his own team likes him or not. But every single person in that organization RESPECTS him, as do his peers and competitors.
We all want to be liked. It makes things easier when people are friendly and smiling. And people do do business with people that they like and respect. But over the past few decades everyone has focused on the like part of the equation instead of the respect component.
Joe early in his career was lighting the world on fire, and part of it was because he didn’t give a damn if you liked him but you were sure as hell going to respect him. He even told potential clients “I am going to tell you what you need to hear, not what you WANT to hear. You might not like it, but it is what a true professional should do.” And by focusing on doing the right things he got respect, and was able to build decades long friendships with some of his clients. Worked so well he stopped doing it because management wanted to “polish” him.
Remember: swords have rough handles so you can get a grip.
Contrast this with the “professional visitors” who spend forever focusing on getting potential clients to LIKE them, so that they feel comfortable working with that advisor. Guess what, they can like you and never do business with you! How many “Likes” does a Facebook page or status have, and how many dollars does it translate to?
Action, not platitudes, are what gets the job done.
Yes, this attitude upsets some people (especially managers that are taught to make everyone happy instead of making people successful), but you will find that even though it can be slightly polarizing it is actually MORE effective than trying to please everyone. And production is what pleases management in the long run.
People buy into the New England/Belichik system. They know if they do their job they will have success. They have a chance to play for a Superbowl ring every year. Players don’t care if Belichik is a grump because he is the best and demands that commitment from all around and so there is an attitude of winning, an edge of excellence surrounding Coach Belichik and all members of the organization.
Does your doctor really care if you like them? Are they going to spend hours talking with you and building the relationship so that you become comfortable with them and hopefully eventually listen to their advice? No way. They talk to you, assess the situation, and tell you “You need to lose 20 pounds, stop eating crap, buy some vegetables, get off your fat butt and join a gym or else you are going to have a heart attack and die. Here is a prescription, go fill it and see me in three months.” And you do as she says. Well, maybe she has a bit better bedside manner than this, but that is still the underlying message and we follow doctor’s orders. Maybe you should consider being more doctor and less friend…