It's About Time We Stop Shaming Millennials Has Been Viewed Over 100,000 Times Thanks to You

As many of you know, my 2017 TEDx Talk gave me the opportunity to fulfill a "bucket list" item. But the best part about this experience was how it resonated with my tribe.

Thanks to you, it's been viewed over 100,000 times! I invite you to take a look if you haven't yet, and find out why so many of us believe "It's About Time We Stop Shaming Millennials."

Here is the transcript:

Millennials.

If you’re like most people, I’m going to guess that you’ve heard a lot about this generation, also known as Gen Y, who are roughly ages 18 to 34 today. Maybe you’re a millennial yourself — hi. Or maybe you’re the parent of a millennial, the sibling of a millennial, the boss of a millennial or the colleague of a millennial.

I’m also going to guess that a lot of what you have read about this generation has been somewhat negative.

Raise your hand if you’ve read an article or seen a story or a blog post about millennials being entitled, narcissistic, lazy, living in their parent’s basements or expecting trophies for participation. So much of what we read about millennials focuses on negative stereotypes.

Now this is nothing new. Gen Xers like me and many of you were called the “slackers.” And Baby Boomers were called “the hippies,” “the original ‘me’ generation.”

Take a look at this quotation: “I see no hope for the future of our people if they are dependent on the frivolous youth of today.”

What do you think? Maybe written in the 1950s? ‘30s? Civil War era? Revolutionary times?

Guess what? This is from the 8th century B.C.

We have literally been shaming our young people for all of human history.

We’ve All Been There

Now this never made any sense to me, and I felt it acutely when I was in this position. I was pretty successful in high school and college, and I received a scholarship to graduate school. But when I finished grad school and was in the “real world” and needed to go out and get a job, I felt lost and abandoned. I moved back to my parent’s house, into my childhood bedroom with the cutesy red heart wallpaper and my prom pictures on the wall.

And I promptly got under the covers and pretty much ate frozen yogurt nonstop for three months because I couldn’t figure out how to move forward. I read a little “What Color Is Your Parachute?” and used my dial-up internet to look on a website that was brand-new at the time called Monster.com.

What I learned is that staying under the covers and eating pint after pint of frozen yogurt is not a good early career strategy. But I didn’t know what else to do, until finally one day my former internship manager invited me to lunch. She said, “I so remember being in your shoes; it is so hard to start out.” And she offered advice and guidance and made some introductions for me, which led to an opportunity — a job offer from a website that helped people launch their careers.

Ever since that experience over 15 years ago, I’ve spent my career helping young people succeed as they’re just starting out in the workplace. I speak on college campuses and to entry-level employees, and I also work with companies to help them attract and retain the younger generation.

What Support Could Do

I’m here today to say I think it’s about time we stop shaming millennials and all the generations to come after them. What would happen to our companies, our communities, our country if we supported young people instead of shaming them?

I believe this is more important today than ever. Millennials, today’s youngest generation in the workplace, is now also the largest in the workplace, as well as the largest generation in our country overall. By 2020 millennials will compose about 50% of our workforce, and by 2025 — less than 10 years away — millennials may make up 75% of our workforce.

I get asked a lot about why I am so supportive of millennials; why I am so bullish on this generation? My answer is simple: We don’t have a choice! There is no other generation waiting in the wings in case this one doesn’t work out. We need to understand and support this generation now.

Now fortunately, we have a lot of guidance on this in the form of ideas from the world of marketing. Marketers have been studying the millennial generation ever since they came on the scene, and I love marketers because they want to sell products and services to this generation. So marketers are saying, “Okay! We understand that millennials like trophies. So…how big? How shiny? How many do they want? Let’s have a hashtag for trophies.”

But in the workplace when we hear millennials respond well to trophies, we say, “Oh, I don’t think so. No one gave me trophies when I was just starting out. Isn’t that a little entitled? Wouldn’t that send the wrong message?”

But when I talk about trophies in the workplace, I’m talking about something very different. I don’t want to argue that every millennial wants the same thing; there’s tremendous diversity, and all 80 million young adults in this country do not have the same preferences. But in my work I have found three key areas where I think we can move the needle on supporting the millennial generation.

Trophy 1: Coaching and Development

The first of these is in the area of coaching and development. Back in 2012 PricewaterhouseCoopers fielded a survey, and they asked millennials, “What is the most important factor to you in deciding to take a job?”

The number one answer by far was this — the opportunity for personal development. They said, “I want to grow; I want to learn; I want to better myself while I’m contributing to an organization.”

The last answer, the least common response, was that money was most important, from 21% of millennials. Now money is critical: This is not about underpaying millennials. So many young people today have crushing student debt, and for those 21%, money is the most important factor; but still, it’s important to remember that coaching and development matter more to most millennials.

What smart companies are doing is offering more feedback, more guidance to young people. One of the trends in big companies is eliminating the age-old annual review. It’s negative; people don’t like it; it’s backwards looking.

Instead, they’re replacing it with feedback by app in real time, to give guidance, feedback, support and mentoring using the technology that is so comfortable for millennials. And not surprisingly, it’s not just millennials who like this; all generations are responding and becoming more effective and productive when they receive more feedback.

Trophy 2: Flexibility

The second trophy is flexibility. We all know that working nine-to-five at a desk in the same office for 40 years until you retire with a gold watch is over, and millennials know that more acutely than anyone.

Millennials want to use the technology we have to work flexibly. When you ask a millennial, “Why are you always working on your device? Why are you always looking at your phone?” it’s kind of like asking a Baby Boomer, “Why are you so into electricity? Why do you plug things in all the time? You always need an outlet.” When you’ve come of age with that technology, you want to make use of it.

Millennials are also our first generation to grow up with a large percentage of working mothers, living in families where both parents had to work and balance. Millennials also have seen many of their parents or their friend’s parents or their neighbors lose their jobs in the Great Recession. After sacrificing so much family time to build their career and nest egg, they lost it anyway because of the economy.

I think millennials are so aware that nobody says on their deathbed that they wish they had spent more time at work. Isn’t it a good thing that we have a young generation who learns that in their 20s rather than later in life?

Trophy 3: Transparency and Purpose

And finally we have transparency and purpose. When you’ve grown up with social media, you expect that you will know everything that’s going on, that you will have all the information at your fingertips. But one of the biggest complaints I hear in the workplace is from employers who say, “You know, this generation doesn’t want to do grunt work; they don’t want to pay their dues.” But what a lot of young people say to me is, “Well, I’m willing to do anything, but not just because it’s always been done or because someone told me to do it. I want to know why.”

It resonates with the millennial generation when we take the time to explain to young people, “This is why this work matters; this is why I’m giving you this assignment; this is why this project takes a certain amount of time.”

But, Does It Work?

Now I have a feeling some of you may be feeling a little bit resistant to some of these suggestions, especially Xers and Boomers who didn’t get this kind of treatment when we started out in the workplace.

So I want to tell you a story from the world of football. A few years ago I read about the coach of a college football team who made it all the way to the championship. The Wall Street Journal did an article asking him about his leadership style and what had made him a successful coach.

He said, “I’ve been in football my whole life — my whole career — but I realized that this generation of players, these millennials, seem to be different. They don’t respond to yelling or punishment. I realized I had to change my style in order to get the results I wanted.”

The fundamentals did not change — the hard work, the stamina, the physical drills, the weight lifting, the importance of being on time, of being an ethical player, a good sport — none of that changed. What did change, he said, was their coaching style.

First, they implemented a “no-yelling rule.” Then, he continued, “We gave every player a mentor so they could discuss their challenges with someone they trusted. We shortened player meetings so that the players would have more time to check their phones or count their Instagram followers.”

And not surprisingly the football establishment reacted very strongly. They said, “Are you kidding? You’re coddling them; you’re going to make them soft! This is football!”

And the coach said, “Well, we’re winning.”

So the question in any organization is this: Do you want to do what’s effective, what works, what helps you win; or do you want to get revenge for the way you yourself were managed when you first started out in your career?

I think we want to do what’s effective. And what’s effective is coaching and development, flexibility for all — not just those at the top, transparency and a sense of purpose in the work that we do.

And if it strikes you that these are things that everybody wants, well, you’re exactly right. I think millennials want what we all want, but they’re just willing to ask for it earlier in their careers, and they will leave organizations that don’t provide these things.

So what would happen if each of us did for today’s young people — our future leaders — what my internship manager did for me all those years ago? What would happen if we supported millennials instead of shaming them; if we supported them wholeheartedly, unabashedly, enthusiastically? Let’s find out!

Thank you again. I would be grateful if you would consider sharing the video with someone who might appreciate this insight.