It's time to talk about the M word...

I’ll never forget the day I did a video-shoot one morning at 9.30am for our Mindset self-coaching tool. I’d been awake all night. I’d had my first yawn at 6am and my alarm was due to go off. “What’s happening to me? I didn’t drink that much coffee yesterday!” I thought...

And then it dawned on me. At the age of 47, my body was changing... and it was taking my ability to sleep and my memory along with it...

I carried out the video-shoot in a total blur... but I did it.

How many other stories are out there like this? When someone has to function sub-optimally all day long for fear of letting others down or, worse still, not wanting to admit there’s an issue?

Thankfully and at long last we’re talking about the M word. The menopause. We talk about it a lot in the Coaching Culture office, because it’s real and it’s currently happening to some of our team. And if you haven’t seen all the posts on social media, or Davina McCall’s brilliant documentary, then where have you been? No, really. Where have you been?

It’s an important subject that’s been affecting a huge number of employees for years and, let’s be frank, for too long it’s been ignored or even mocked. A dark secret that too many people have had to deal with on their own for a very long time.

While it's frustrating it’s taken this long to get to the point of talking openly about it, it’s positive news that at last organisations are waking up to the fact that the menopause is something that really does affect its people and their performance, and ignoring its existence makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. Finally, it’s starting to appear on the organisational wellbeing agenda.

But let’s not fool ourselves: even with the progress that’s being made, many organisational cultures still present significant barriers, particularly if there’s a lack of psychological safety when it comes to talking about these types of issues. Ask yourself this... what’s true for your organisation? Are you doing enough to break down barriers, tackle the stigma and encourage the right conversations?

Understanding the challenges of the menopause

I remember hearing my Mum refer to the menopause as some dreaded "change" that she (and therefore the whole family) were going to endure at some point in her life. While some people don’t have too bad a time with it, others can have debilitating symptoms, triggering all kinds of issues. The associated hormonal fluctuations can wreak havoc in the brain, causing problems like brain fog and memory loss for a large number of sufferers. Poor sleep quality means affected employees can also feel tired a lot of the time, leading to serious difficulties concentrating on everyday tasks. Imagine that on a large scale... where there’s a downward spiral of worry about day-to-day responsibilities and deadlines, impacting performance, personal wellbeing and self-confidence.

Ignoring it is a risky strategy

Organisations that don’t think they need to deal with the implications of the menopause are kidding themselves. Just look at these figures. 6 out of 10 people experiencing the menopause say their work performance has been affected by symptoms. 2019 Bupa research indicated that women who went on long-term absence leave to manage symptoms were off for an average of 32 weeks and almost a million people had left their jobs due to struggling with symptoms. What a shocking loss of talent.

It’s worth noting too that tribunal numbers mentioning the menopause are rising. While menopausal symptoms aren’t automatically classed as a disability, this might change one day. But whether it does or doesn’t, it’s just not okay to look the other way. A truly inclusive organisation would do everything possible to support every employee going through this stage of life by having a culture of understanding and empathy, not embarrassed silence.

How are you opening up the conversation about the menopause?

It’s time that organisations make real progress demystifying the menopause. It’s a normal life stage and while it can be hard for those going through it, there are many ways organisations can offer support to make their working life a whole lot easier.

? Raise awareness amongst all employees

Let’s start talking about the M word. Organisations can take the lead by raising awareness and normalising the conversation. Simply being able to talk about it and knowing support is available makes a huge difference.

There are many ways to raise awareness: in-house training, coaching, podcasts, webinars and external speakers are all great for encouraging conversations. And develop awareness in other ways too. There are lots of organisations doing some great stuff; HSBC has trained menopause advocates, changed the material used in uniforms and routinely provides desk fans for example. They’re one of a number of organisations, including Leicestershire County Council and several NHS Trusts, who’ve signed up to the "Menopause Friendly" accreditation, sending out the message that when it comes to the menopause, their employees’ wellbeing matters.

? Help leaders and managers to have empathetic conversations

Kellogg’s is training managers in how to have conversations about the menopause which is brilliant for bringing the issues to the surface in a compassionate and kind way.

Open conversations help leaders and managers appreciate the challenges and the symptoms better, so they can respond sensitively and flexibly to requests for help. Regular and sympathetic catch-ups based on genuine concern for wellbeing build trusting relationships, encouraging both the manager and employee to explore the options together to best manage the situation.

It’s so much easier for those suffering with symptoms to share their problems if they know they’ll be listened to compassionately so give your leaders and managers the skills to do this well.

Has your organisation made a clear commitment to offer support?

A genuinely inclusive organisation is responsive to all employee needs so how are you helping your leaders and managers have the conversation about the menopause? Because it’s a win-win: with the right approach, organisations can support individuals with the very real challenges they’re facing and break through all those barriers that made the menopause such a taboo and invisible subject in the past.

By Jo Wright, Editor and CEO of Coaching Culture