It's time to roar!
Deepti Rai
Principal Data Scientist @Microsoft | Women In Tech India, Regional Director, South| Product Analytics |Equality & Equity | Unbias.me
A few months back I was on family vacation to one of the most mesmerising locations in India - Kashmir. The splendid beauty around me got me excited to explore the culture around a bit more intimately and I decided to do a day long heritage walk. Every place of worship I explored only further amplified the immense respect of diversity we house in our country! However, this flight was short lived as I found myself knocking on the doors of one of the historical monuments, but was denied entry. One would think that growing up in this patriarchal society should have ideally softened the blow of this rejection, but it only infuriated me further. I calmed my nerves down, took in a deep breath and treaded ahead with courage and asked the doorman (in Hindi) "Why are the men being allowed to enter?" He looked visibly dismayed and un-empathetically the words came gushing out of his mouth, "This is the rule, there are cameras around and I cannot do anything about this!" Realising that I have reached a dead end, I backed off and started walking back towards my taxi with utter disappointment. The taxi driver instantly caught upon my displeasure and asked me how I returned so quickly! I saw him expressively shaking his head side by side in disappointment as I narrated the series of events that had occurred a few moments ago. With the intent to help me get closure to what just happened, he decided to enlighten me with the truth, "Madam, the reason you were not allowed is because during prayer time they dont want the men to get distracted by women. To prevent the men from committing a sin, they have decided to eliminate the distraction itself!" I know the truth was intended to give me some solace, but my heart sank as I digested these words! Even in the place of spirituality, the needs of men are prioritised. I thought to myself, "As a woman, how tiring it is to fight for my basic rights on every nook and corner!" Feeling even more dejected, I instantly left the place and spent the rest of the day sulking!
It's overwhelming for women to have been given the unwanted task of being the role model of responsibility! The series of events that unfolded in the heritage walk left a bitter taste in my mouth as I asked myself, "Why do I need to take the responsibility of the men being able to focus during prayer time? Is it because men will be men and women are supposed to strive to live an ideal life as good role models?"
Look around and, you will see an undercurrent of this unspoken rule in all the recent world events. Starting with Finnish Prime Minister, Sanna Marin. Firstly, it gives me immense joy to see a women leader, running the country with such passion, courage and diligence! However, the moral police did not spare her as she took a few moments off her extremely stressful job and unwinded with her loved ones! The videos of her letting her hair down instantly went viral (mind you not in a good way), where folks admonished her for her "un-leader" like behaviour, when truly what they wanted to say is "un-lady" like behaviour!
Sadly we live in a society that expects women to always be in control (even when they unwind) so that the strings of patriarchy controlling their every move does not snap!
Now you might wonder, why am I talking about gender inequality here. The outburst post the video was more to do with a behaviour expected from a leader rather than a women, but this is not true! Remember former UK Prime Minister Boris Johnson? He spent numerous years in power before he finally gave into the demands of resignation for partying during COVID-19 crisis. Look at the former US President Donald Trump who has gotten away with his sexist remarks in public "We’re getting your husbands back to work. Everybody wants it!" (Aimed at women attending a campaign rally in Michigan, 2020). These folks clearly broke the law and were forgiven since it's an expected behaviour from men, but as a women leader Marin was ruthlessly reprimanded for being very well within the limits of law. Society holding you upto different expectations based on your gender, if this is not patriarchy then what is?
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This need to control women or as we say in India "Maryada mein raho!" is a crippling disease that runs through the veins of our society!
While the impact in the case of Marin was public embarassment (and a lot more!), there have been incidents where it has costed women their lives. Look at the astonishing act of abuse and violence in Iran where a woman "Mahasa Amini" was given a gruesome death by the moral police for not properly following the dress code enforced upon women - cover your head! The government chooses to spend its time trying to control how women should live and behave rather than addressing the dark thundering clouds of rising unemployment and inflation that has overcasted the country! It almost seems like they have an agenda to target the vulnerable demographics to showcase their power and control, and hide their incompetencies of leading a country to prosperity.
Enough is enough!
Women cannot be the victims of incompetent men trying to validate their existence!
If you notice, all the stories that I have narrated today have one thing in common - denial of justice and equity to a demographic that makes up half the world's population. We need a global movement to cut the veins of patriarchy that has infested our society!
This movement starts with you! Your voice matters! Let's make it count! Now is the time, use your voice and support the injustice against "Mahsa Amini" and the million other women out there who are brutal victims of injustice and inequality! Stand up and roar! You ask how? Express your opinions, show your support and create awareness by sharing this article. Remember small things go a long way! This movement starts with you!
I shake up leaders out of their uncomfortable comfort zones and take them where they want to go. I am a strategist and a brand developer and I thrive at being the "éminence grise" with a strong need to get things done.
2 年Most times I feel that equality isn't something that is only a women's issue, it is also an issue for men ?? On a more serious note... Education and control over marriage are directly related to the gender equality issue in India. Read somewhere that 80 percent of women in India with no education never meet husbands before marriage compared to less than 40 percent of women with 12 years of education. So, the first step should be to make education for girls a priority. If Government and Enterprises can help families to receive support to keep daughters in school, and prioritize education, then women in India can make more educated and independent decisions on marriage.
Product Management | Passionate about Digital Solutions
2 年I guess the place you are referring to as historical monument is a place belonging to a certain religion to offer prayers. If it is fought by gender on the whole it takes a communal shape in no time and people who belong to the religion tend to guard it with such arguments. It will have to be fought by the women from that religion who are being suppressed, recognize it and stand up to their basic rights. Until then any protests from other will be painted as anti religion or religious aversion.
Supervisor of Rehabilitation Services at PIH Health
2 年I am so proud of you for writing this article and sharing your experiences and thoughts with the world. It is very frustrating being a woman in many parts of the world because of these equalities that continue to be such a big issue. The fear in these women for not standing up for themselves is not greater than the injustice being done. We need to rise up to the situation as a whole and fight for our rights!