It's time Mum and Dad to move on!

Have you brought Mum and Dad into your business, but now you want the freedom to grow without family constraints? Reallocating the deck chairs in a family business is one of the most challenging decisions, especially when working alongside someone you love, like a parent. For a child who has seen the family business grow but recognizes that his dad or mum can no longer keep pace, the emotional weight of the situation can be immense.

It's not just about transitioning the business; it's about preserving the relationship with your parents while ensuring the business can thrive and provide for your family and all employees.

It's not personal! The reality is that it is always personal.

The decision to remove a family member you dearly cherish is more than a business decision, it's deeply personal. The child's love and respect for the parents complicates the process, especially when facing the realization that a family member can no longer contribute effectively to the growing demands of the business. Your hesitation to take steps toward change is likely driven by a fear of hurting feelings or damaging a family relationship.

Let's first acknowledge these emotions are crucial and very real. A conversation based on love, respect, and gratitude can go a long way to smoothing a pathway forward. It's essential to assure the affected family members that this is not a reflection of their contributions or abilities but rather about adapting to the evolving needs of the business.

Sometimes, Mum and Dad have been there with you the whole way, or maybe you thought you would help your parents by employing them. Either way, like that famous song "Hotel California ", you can check out, but you can never leave.

At this stage of reflection, you need to acknowledge what your family members have brought to your business. The love, help, free labour and frustrations must all be respected and celebrated.

Having the Conversation and Framing It Constructively – good luck with that!

The first step in this delicate process is honest and respectful conversation. For example, a son or daughter could frame it as, "Dad, the business has grown beyond what either of us anticipated, and while I know you've done an amazing job getting us to this point, I think we need to consider what's best for the business moving forward."

This approach acknowledges the father's contributions while gently introducing the idea of transitioning roles. It's essential to emphasize that the goal is not to push the family member out but to find a more suitable role that aligns with their current strengths.

Remember, having this initial conversation is going to be hard confronting. It's either going to go terribly wrong or in some cases, it can be relief from mum or dad that they really wanted out.

If it's a transition approach, it might mean fewer hours or a mentoring or advisory role could be offered. Compromise may allow the family members to remain connected without bearing the pressure of day-to-day operations or doing a job that may not suit them as the business grows.

Once the conversation begins, it's essential to have a plan for the transition. You should be prepared to discuss how the business will continue to run and how they can contribute in ways that still engage them somewhat.

Transitioning a parent into an advisory where they can offer insights based on experience without involvement in daily operations. Or maybe creating a role that sounds important but does not impact the growth of the business. It's often hard for the next generation to see why or how things must evolve. Remember, many of our parents have seen large technological changes from typewriters to fax machines, to the internet to mobile phones. Not every generation copes with this. I still recall my argument with my late dad about buying my first batch of flat-screen monitors. He said I was wasting my money, but to me, it was part of the transition to growth.

Ownership rights – it's a bit trickier.

If the parents have ownership in the business, it's essential to discuss how his financial interests will be managed. This could involve a buyout, a reduced shareholding, or a financial arrangement that ensures his continued benefit from the business's success.

Don't think they will just walk away just because they love you.

As the business grows, creating boundaries between personal and professional relationships is crucial. The parent-child relationship may become strained if clear lines aren't drawn.

To do this, it can be handled through open communication and the understanding that, in the business setting, professional decisions need to be made for the benefit of the company. It can also be handled by bringing employees and others into decision-making so it's not a closed family affair.

Managing the Emotional Aftermath after starting the conversation.

Even with the most thoughtful approach, emotions are bound to run high. So often, it's hard to be prepared for the possibility that your parents may initially feel hurt or defensive after the conversation. Reassuring your parents they are transitioning is not about rejecting them but positioning the business for future success. Over time, with open communication and mutual understanding, the father may come to appreciate this shift.

Sometimes things don't work out. Having seen many clients tackle this pathway, I know it can be brutal. Be prepared that you may need to call on others in the family for support or that they take it deeply personally.

Family businesses thrive when both the family and the business are considered equally.

Maintaining a robust personal relationship while making necessary changes for business growth is possible. Ultimately, handling the situation with care, transparency, and respect will allow you to navigate this challenging transition while preserving your relationship with your parents and the business's future and maintaining that family love.