It's Time To Let Go a Bit

About a year ago, I was on a ferry from Buenos Aires, Argentina to Colonia, Uruguay for a getaway for a few days.

Around half-way through the ferry ride, the boat began to sway from side to side. With each movement, I gripped my seat a bit tighter and looked around to check for other nervous passengers. I tried to stay calm; however, soon, the swaying grew more violent and frequent. I watched the dark sky and the water crash against my window. Deep breaths...I thought to myself…deep breaths. I stayed relatively calm until I heard the crashing of bottles in the duty-free shop at the back. Then I was seriously scared….

As I latched onto a center pole gripping for my life (no joke), I made an important realization. I fear the most when I'm not in control.

In the middle of the Rio de La Plata, I lacked control. My fate was in the hands of the captain and the waves ahead of us. Flying 31,000 feet in the air, I lack control. My fate is in the hands of the pilot and the air patterns. As I tried to secure a remote role, I lacked control. My fate was in that one-pager of skills and experience and the first person to review it. As I am currently trying to navigate this “new normal”, I lack control. My fate is in the unknowns of what is to come in the next few months.

I’ve always wanted to control. To control my career, my social life, my gym routine, my sleep schedule, etc, etc.

When I was looking to start a remote career, I tried to control the outcome of every opportunity I came across. To control every piece of the process to make it fall into place and work out as perfectly as I constructed it in my head. However, trying to force and control wasn’t working. What was it causing instead?

Fear, stress, insecurity, mental blockage, overwhelm…

This year, I had mapped out my work/travel through South America. I wanted it to fit the ideal picture of how my first year of freedom to explore as a digital nomad would look. When plans changed due to current events, what did this cause instead?

Disappointment, indecision, uncertainty, fear, doubt...

But what if I let go a bit? What if I embraced how the boat jumped over each wave, or rested my head against the plane window and relaxed as I coasted at 31,000 feet in the sky? What if I hadn’t tried to mold every opportunity into the perfect fit? What if I didn’t need each next destination and time set in stone? What if I continue to put out my best effort, enjoy the present, keep the faith, and trust that it will all fall into place?

Maybe then I'd be surprised that just as I safely arrived at my destination in Colonia...I'd safely land at where I wanted to get all along.

Maybe if we embrace the uncertainty and all of its endless possibilities… we’ll find we end up where we’ve wanted to be.

It's time to let go a bit.