It's About Time: How to Make the Tough Choices

With the holidays upon us, we’re reminded of the importance of family and spending time with the ones we love. Yet what about the rest of the year? How do we best manage the difficult choices we have to make between the demands of work and those of family? For many of us, striking the right balance is a year-round job that requires the ability to make tough choices. 

As I’ve noted before, time is a finite and precious resource. Prioritizing your time is one of your most important jobs. When it comes to navigating work-life balance, it’s vital to create a personal strategy to make the right calls, and to share that strategy explicitly with the ones you love, and the ones you work with. 

To help guide my own decision making, I try to break things down into what I call “rubber moments” and “crystal moments.” The metaphor is pretty straightforward: If you drop a rubber ball, it bounces back with another opportunity to engage. Dropping crystal is another story, shattering into hundreds of pieces, never to be retrieved again.

In life, rubber moments are things you and your loved ones would prefer that you be present for, but sometimes conflict with work demands. Missing these rubber moments certainly come with their share of disappointment and emotional pain, but deep down you know there is another one just around the corner. It is these moments which, when faced with a looming deadline or a crisis at work, can be deprioritized for the moment. Examples include being home for dinner, a child’s eighth soccer match of the season with four more on the schedule, or a fifth dance competition of the year.

Crystal moments are not the same, and should never be de-prioritized. That first prom, a school graduation, the birth of a child – all examples of once-in-a-lifetime occasions where there is no next time. Never miss these opportunities, and encourage others to do the same. Great companies with strong teams and cultures understand and will support your decisions. After all, life is a team sport.

I recently had a crystal moment – attending Parent and Family Weekend with my youngest daughter at the college where she is enrolled as a freshman. At times like this, I try to go off the grid as much as possible, making myself available only for work emergencies. Strong work teams actually enjoy these opportunities to demonstrate they are more than capable of stepping up to keep things moving forward. For me, it serves as a great reminder that while all of us are useful, we are not always as necessary as we sometimes lead ourselves to believe! Along the way, it’s also a wonderful way to prioritize those “crystal moments,” creating memories that last a lifetime. 

Finding the right work-life balance is tough, and trade-offs will always exist. There will be ebbs and flows along the way, but beginning to reflect on which moments are made of rubber, and which ones are crystal – whether at work or at home – is a useful way to guide your decision making. Never let a crystal moment pass you by –some friendly advice from a recent empty-nester!