"It's Time To Go".....

“It’s time to go”

A phrase many of us say over and over again without much thought but a phrase nevertheless that holds huge, gigantic implications; some positive, some negative.

“It’s time to go” spoken by an expectant mother who urges an often-nervous spouse out the door towards a hospital so they can welcome their newborn after months of anticipation.

“It’s time to go” spoken by a heartbroken mama who shuts off the bedroom light of their last child as she moves them out of their home and into the college dorm.

“It’s time to go” spoken by frustrated parents late for work who are at the mercy of a 4-year-old who thinks THAT morning is the morning to learn to tie their shoes.

“It’s time to go” spoken when the Uber arrives to take you on that long awaited bucket list vacation you have been saving for.

“It’s time to go” spoken through tears as you hold the hand of a loved one ready to pass on.

I’ve been at the speaking and/or receiving end of those examples too many times to count in my life. You would think given how often that phrase is said, you would be 100% prepared each time its spoken.

Except your not.

“It’s time to go” started my early morning Monday yesterday. Through blurry eyes I knew what it meant and let me tell you – there was no coffee needed to jolt me awake.

“It’s time to go” spoke by my husband in reference to the ER visit I had urged him to take all weekend. Within one hour of that phrase spoke to me we had dropped our daughter off, I had cleared my calendar and we were admitted to the MGH ER where my husband was triaged and where he sported hospital garb until today.

All is well I assure you – but there were moments – we were not sure.

I brought my laptop, my work, my reading with me – as I stupidly thought I would be able to work when my nervous system was on hyperdrive. I didn’t, I couldn’t.

I sat with all the noise.

The beeping.

The moaning of other patients.

The suctioning of the blood pressure cuff over and over again (for FREAKING HOURS).

The sound those shoes the nurses and doctors wear on the tile floor – echoing down the halls.

The smell – dear god the smell of a hospital – ALWAYS the same nauseating smell.

The sensory overload of an emergency room for 12+ hours before he was moved to his room was a bit MUCH.

All I could do was breath.

Meditate.

Try not to let my growling stomach and my overloaded sensory system take away from what was needed; holding space for my husband.

I also got to think over and over and over about that phrase “It’s time to go” which was also spoken about 100x by doctors and nurses as we sat there. I wondered if anyone realized how many times it was said – if they; the doctors and nurses, really understood the power in that small phrase said over and over.

“It’s time to go” spoken by the incredibly kind runner who came with a wheelchair and forced my husband to sit in (which by the way he didn’t want to – what is it with men and getting help from others when they clearly need it?? – that’s for another day) and off we went to his room after 12+ hours.

“Time to go” spoken by me when I needed to head back home for our youngest youngling knowing I was leaving my husband in the very capable hands of the MGH staff.

“Time to go” spoken as I tried to urge my youngest to leave very generous friends who had her all day while we were at MGH – this may have been more of a yell actually – but you get the point.

“Time to go” as I reminded her over and over this morning to get her backpack, water bottle and lunchbox for school.

I headed back to be with my husband after school drop off where a few hours later he said to me:

“It’s time to go” as he was being discharged - with exhausted relief that there is an end on the horizon.

How many times have you said things that seemed insignificant?

How many times have you repeated the same thing over and over again without really considering the impact?

What we do but more importantly what we say has tremendous impact. More importantly the context and HOW we say the same thing can have critically different meaning to those who are hearing it.

Stopping to consider what we are saying, how we are saying it and the context to what we are saying can make all the difference in the world to the person on the receiving end of that statement.

“It’s time to go” so innocuous yet has the power to elicit fear, concern but also joy and relief.