It’s Time to Evolve: A Reflection on Men’s Ambivalence Toward Voting for a Woman President

It’s Time to Evolve: A Reflection on Men’s Ambivalence Toward Voting for a Woman President

In a time when political discourse is often divided, there’s one question that continues to challenge men across America: Why is it still difficult for some men to vote for a woman president? The statistics show that men, more than women, are drawn to candidates like Donald Trump, and Kamala Harris is having trouble gaining their support. But what does this say about our society, and how do we move forward collectively to embrace excellence in leadership—regardless of gender?

To explore this issue, I recently hosted two Zoom conversations with men from across the country. These discussions didn’t just include African-American men, but also white men from cities like Boulder, Denver, Atlanta, and New York. What unfolded was an honest exchange of perspectives, as men debated both sides of the argument: Should gender matter in leadership? What are the societal biases holding us back, and how do we confront them?

The insights shared were illuminating, with some men challenging their own perceptions and others defending their hesitations. Here’s a reflection on what came up during these thought-provoking conversations, and why men should think twice before dismissing the idea of voting for a woman to lead this country.

The Motivation for This Article

This article builds on my recent piece,?The Conversations We've Had: A Reflection on Why Black Men Should Think Twice Before Voting for Donald Trump.? After publishing it, several readers reached out to me asking whether the issue of women in leadership had come up during those discussions. To my surprise, it hadn’t. However, the question lingered in my mind, and soon after, three individuals expressed their interest in participating in a dialogue on the subject.

That’s what motivated this follow-up piece. I wanted to create a space where men, from diverse backgrounds, could openly discuss their views on voting for a woman president. My aim isn’t to tell anyone how to vote, but rather to challenge some of the preconceived notions, biases, and stereotypes that may be influencing our decisions without us even realizing it. This conversation isn’t about pushing an agenda—it’s about reflecting on where we stand as a society and how we can move forward.

What does it say about the United States, a nation that prides itself on progress and democracy, that we have never had a woman serve as president? Many countries around the world have broken that barrier—India, Israel, the United Kingdom, New Zealand, Germany, and others. Figures like Margaret Thatcher, Angela Merkel, and Jacinda Ardern have shown that women can lead nations just as effectively as men. Yet, the U.S. remains hesitant. What holds us back? These were the kinds of questions we sought to answer during our discussions.

Donald Trump: Master of Amplifying Stereotypes and Gender Bias

When it comes to perpetuating gender bias, Donald Trump has been a masterful player throughout his presidency and campaigns. Trump’s behavior has not only magnified existing stereotypes about women in leadership but also directly influenced how men perceive women in power. His attacks on women leaders have been consistent and often demeaning, whether by degrading them with name-calling, questioning their intelligence, or outright dismissing their capabilities.

Take Kamala Harris, for instance. Trump has repeatedly refused to even say her name correctly, which isn’t just a slip of the tongue—it’s a deliberate act of disrespect. During the 2020 campaign, Trump routinely mispronounced her name, and when corrected, he doubled down, often calling her names like “nasty” and “mean,” or questioning her competence. This pattern of behavior sends a clear message to men: women, especially strong women, should not be taken seriously or respected.

Sean from Denver put it this way during one of our calls: “If a man can’t even say a woman’s name right—after being corrected multiple times—what does that say about how he views her? It’s not just a mistake; it’s intentional. And the fact that he’s done this to other women, like Elizabeth Warren or Nikki Haley, shows that it’s part of his playbook.”

Trump’s rhetoric toward Nikki Haley, a woman who once served in his administration, has been no different. When Haley announced her candidacy, Trump responded by belittling her and even questioning her loyalty and intelligence. This is the same playbook he used against Hillary Clinton, routinely calling her “crooked” and making personal attacks that undermined her competence rather than engaging with her policies.

What does it say about a leader’s character when his go-to strategy is to degrade women rather than debate their ideas? Trump has consistently called women “stupid,” “nasty,” or “crazy,” further entrenching the stereotype that women are too emotional or unfit to lead. His behavior not only reflects his personal biases but also reinforces damaging societal beliefs about women in positions of power.

Derek from Boulder captured this frustration perfectly: “Trump knows what he’s doing. He taps into that old-school thinking that women are just not up to the task. It’s not just about politics; it’s about keeping men in charge and dismissing women before they even get a chance.”

As a society, we must ask ourselves: Do we want to continue supporting a leader who has consistently torn down women for sport? Or are we ready to move beyond these outdated tactics and recognize that women—whether in politics, business, or other spheres—are just as capable, if not more so, of leading with intelligence, strength, and empathy?

The Challenges Men Face in Voting for a Woman

1. Perceived Electability: Are Women Truly Ready for the Top Role?

One of the first issues raised was the belief that women are simply less electable than men. Derek from Boulder started the conversation by admitting:?“Look, I’m not saying women can’t lead, but I don’t know if the country is ready. Every time a woman runs, it feels like she’s fighting an uphill battle from the start.” Derek’s comment echoed the views of many men who feel that, despite progress, women face too many hurdles to be effective in the highest office. However, Steve, a business owner from New York, pushed back:?“That’s just the old way of thinking, man. We can’t keep saying women aren’t electable when the only reason they’re not winning is because we keep buying into that narrative. In business, I have women who outperform the men on my team every day, and they get results. It’s time we apply that same logic to politics.”

Steve’s point hit home for some of the men, highlighting that electability isn’t just about a candidate’s abilities—it’s about our perceptions and biases.

2. Gender Bias: The Double Standards Women Face

John from Denver brought up the double standards women experience in leadership roles:?“Women are held to higher standards. A man makes a mistake, and it’s forgiven, but a woman slips up once and it’s game over. That’s not fair, but it’s reality. How do we get past that?” It’s a valid concern. Many men acknowledged that women are often judged more harshly for errors, and this bias affects how they are perceived in leadership positions. Angela Merkel, Margaret Thatcher, and even Kamala Harris have all faced these challenges, yet they’ve demonstrated resilience and success. As Sean from Atlanta remarked:?“Look at Thatcher. She was tough, she led, and she wasn’t afraid to make hard decisions. If other countries can have women leaders, why can’t we?”

3. Media Bias: The Role of Negative Coverage

Another significant factor discussed was media bias. Women running for office often receive more negative or critical coverage compared to men. Marcus from Boulder shared his frustration:?“The media is part of the problem. Every time a woman runs, they focus on how she dresses, her tone, her family life. With men, it’s all about the policies. Why do we do that?” The group agreed that media bias plays a major role in shaping public opinion. Tony from California offered a solution:“We need to hold the media accountable. Call them out when they focus on trivial things instead of the real issues. It’s up to us to demand better coverage, not just for women but for all candidates.”

4. Stereotypes about Leadership: Do Women Have What It Takes?

Another topic that sparked debate was traditional views of leadership. Some men still hold onto the belief that effective leadership aligns with masculine traits like toughness and assertiveness. Keith from Indiana admitted:?“I know it’s old-school thinking, but I feel like men are just more suited for leadership roles. It’s been that way forever.” This was immediately countered by Greg from Denver:?“Man, we gotta evolve. Women lead differently, but that doesn’t make them any less effective. In fact, studies show that women tend to collaborate more and bring a different perspective to problem-solving. That’s exactly what we need right now.”

Greg’s point led to a broader discussion about the evolving nature of leadership, with many men agreeing that qualities traditionally associated with women—empathy, collaboration, and inclusivity—are strengths, not weaknesses, in today’s complex world.

5. Fear of Change: The Discomfort with Breaking Historical Norms

Finally, some men expressed discomfort with breaking the historical norm of male presidents. Bobby from Boulder voiced his hesitation:?“We’ve never had a woman president. It’s hard to picture. I don’t know, maybe it’s just the fear of something different.” Kamala Harris’s name came up frequently in this part of the discussion, with several men acknowledging her strength as a leader, even though they hesitated to fully embrace her candidacy. Mike from Atlanta challenged the group:?“Without women, we wouldn’t even be here. It’s time we stop acting like this country can’t be led by a strong woman. Kamala Harris has shown resilience, intelligence, and the ability to lead. We need to support that, not shy away from it.”

Mike’s words resonated with many on the call, reminding the group that change is often uncomfortable, but necessary for progress.

A Call for Reflection

These conversations revealed much about the societal biases and perceptions that continue to shape men’s views woman ?leadership. Yet, they also showed that many men are ready to evolve, recognizing the excellence that women bring to leadership roles in business, politics, and beyond. It’s time for us to acknowledge these contributions and embrace a future where gender no longer defines a leader’s potential.

As men, we all have women in our lives—mothers, sisters, daughters, and colleagues—who are strong, capable, and deserving of respect. Without women, none of us would be here. So why is it so difficult to imagine a woman leading this country?

The question isn’t whether a woman?can?lead—it’s whether we’re ready to let her. And if we’re not, what does that say about us?

Reflection Questions:

• How do traditional views of leadership impact your willingness to vote for a woman?
• Are you willing to challenge societal biases and media narratives that unfairly scrutinize female candidates?
• Can you recognize the strengths that women bring to leadership, and how they differ from traditional male leadership styles?
• What steps can you take to support more equitable treatment of female candidates in politics and beyond?
• Are you ready to embrace a future where leadership is defined by excellence, not gender?

It’s time for us to reflect, evolve, and move forward together. The future of our country depends on it. Let’s engage in this dialogue, challenge our biases, and make decisions that reflect the best of what we can become as a society.

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