It's Time to Crush Fear and Lead Our Lives

For over a year, we've been told to be afraid. Very afraid. A virus is in the air and it wants to kill us. But fear, in all its forms, is preventing us from realizing our full potential. In effect, many of us have been "put on hold".

In order to move on with our lives - whether the pandemic ends, or continues in some way - we must push fear aside and replace it with acceptance, followed by action. Such was the advice from a very different kind of doctor.  

Abraham Maslow believed in self-actualization - the ultimate step in a process where we overcome our struggles to come out the other end, the person we were meant to be.

Abraham Maslow, pictured here, said that you'll know you've reached self-actualization when you have "peak experiences" - moments of great joy, free of fear and doubt. A peak experience happens when you're doing what you love, completely immersed in the moment, unaware of time.

Sadly, many of us never reach self-actualization. We allow our struggles to dominate and view life though a negative lens, carving a career path of mediocrity, far below our potential.

Definition of Self-Actualization: The realization or fulfillment of one's talents and potentialities

Maslow believed that self-actualization – being able to release negative thoughts so we can see our true value – is something that rarely happens. The reason for this, argued Maslow, is that we first have to master basic human needs. These include the need to feel safe, sleep and eat - love and be loved.

If we’re not sleeping, eating well – or if our lives lack a sense of security and contentment, it’s difficult for us to focus on our abilities. So difficult in fact, Maslow said only 2 per cent of the population ever gets there.

Another reason we do not reach self-actualization: "fear of our own greatness" as Maslow put it. He believed that we're afraid to become who we think we should. This fear sabotages our dreams, relegating us to conformity.

Fear can become an excuse. I fear - therefore I shall not progress.

For those of us who can master our basic needs and take fear off center stage, amazing things are possible.

Six Ways to Self-Actualization

Abraham Maslow viewed self-actualization as the ultimate goal, achievable by seeing our lives, not as a burden, but an adventure - or even an "experiment" – one in which we “observe” “explore” and above all, make our own conclusions.

He identified these six best practices we can adopt - even in today's challenging environment - to help us along the way.

1. Experience life like a child, with full absorption and concentration.
2. Try new things instead of sticking to safe paths.
3. Listen to your own feelings in evaluating experiences instead of the voice of tradition, authority or the majority.
4. Avoid pretense (‘game playing’) and instead, be honest.
5. Be prepared to be unpopular if your views do not coincide with those of the majority.
6. Take responsibility for your life rather than blaming society or others.

In order to prove that these practices really can free your mind to focus on identifying and using your talents and capabilities - Maslow turned to history. He studied Abraham Lincoln, Albert Einstein and other great people of accomplishment, and confirmed that they used the six practices, which in turn, led to these self-actualizing characteristics. (How do you compare?)

• They tolerated uncertainty.
• They accepted themselves and others for who they were.
• They had a sense of humor.
• They showed creativity.
• They displayed genuine concern for the welfare of humanity.
• They appreciated basic life-experiences such as enjoying a country walk.
• They established deep satisfying interpersonal relationships with a few people.
• They developed strong moral and ethical standards.

Abraham Maslow created a "hierarchy of needs" in which self-actualization was the final step in the journey.

Step one is ensuring we have the basic necessities of life, such as oxygen, food and water. We need to feel safe - free of war (and in today's climate - free of dying from Covid-19). Once these are met, we can embrace loving relationships with family, friends and a partner - and secure self-esteem.

Other psychologists have added additional human needs. Viktor Frankl, who survived the Nazi death camps of World War Two (and worked with Maslow), added the need to experience spirituality and see ourselves as part of a larger universe.

“A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write, if they are to ultimately be at peace with themselves.” Abraham Maslow

Once our needs are met - we are empowered to live to our potential, something which is different for each of us. A scientist, for example, becomes "self-actualized" when able to conduct research in a chosen field. A mother may be self-actualized when effective in caring for her children.

Maslow believed that it is only when we live to our potential that we will achieve true happiness. We discover our purpose.

Abraham Maslow's "Hierarchy of Needs" is shown here. Maslow himself struggled with mastering basic needs, experiencing a difficult childhood and a lack of love. After creating the pyramid in 1943, he would later admit that not all basic needs have to be met in order to gain self-fulfillment.

Today, there are those who criticize Maslow's thinking as overly simplistic, and make the claim that his "positive psychology" is useless against serious mental illness - in need of deep psychiatric analysis and drug therapy.

As a child, Maslow himself was regarded as mentally ill. That was the diagnosis from a doctor he had seen, but later in life, Maslow would counter the claim by saying he was simply reacting to his environment.

Born and raised in New York, his parents were first generation Jewish immigrants from Russia. Maslow faced antisemitism. The Maslow household was also filled with conflict, especially between Maslow and his mother who he said was not capable of love. He despised her “stinginess, total selfishness and lack of love for anyone else in the world.”

He had almost no friends, spending his days in the library.

Maslow studied law but hated it, quitting after one semester at Cornell University. He would turn his attention to psychology, believing that people could help cure themselves of depression by finding meaning in life.

It was during the horror of World War Two that Maslow first developed his ideas about self-actualization. If only people could escape war, he reasoned, they could be free to be themselves.

He disagreed with another famous psychologist – Sigmund Freud, who believed that humanity was dragged down by emotion. Maslow, on the other hand, saw love and other human emotions as great assets - fueling hope and a person's aspirations. Freud concentrated on neurotic behavior while Maslow preferred to see what was right with the human mind, not wrong - and to build on those observations.

A believer in physical exercise, Abraham Maslow died in 1970 from a massive heart attack while he was jogging. He was only 62 years old.

Maslow's belief in our self-healing ability is urgently needed today when many of us are paralyzed by fear.

Can we climb the ladder to self-actualization - pandemic, or no pandemic?

Abraham Maslow wrote a number of groundbreaking books including "Toward a Psychology of Being" which promotes mindfulness and provides a blueprint for self-discovery. The book (still available today) became popular among medical practitioners and business managers alike, as a means to better overall health and productivity. 

When studying U.S. President Lincoln, Maslow discovered that even though Lincoln was burdened by depression - he was able to cover up his disability through telling jokes and pretending to be happier than he really was. That strategy freed Lincoln's mind so he could focus on his ambitions. Self-actualization is a potent force which created one of America's greatest leaders.

Copyright ? 2021 Cory Galbraith | All rights reserved.