It′s not a secret. Let′s talk about it.
Debra Scott English Coach
I help nonnative English speaking CEOs and professionals become eloquent communicators to achieve your career dreams. | Accent Training | Small talk | Public Speaking | Interviews | Storytelling
Today is WORLD MENTAL HEALTH DAY.
Today I go public on my experience.
Someone, somewhere needs to read this. Be encouraged. You are loved!
I was the busy mother of three young children, with a healthy lifestyle and a happy home,
working at a job I loved.?
One day I woke up exhausted despite having slept all night. I felt down, not my usual happy self, but I shook it off as normal due to the multi-tasking responsibilities of motherhood.
?Not many days later, I was at my exercise class when the fast tempo and the volume of the music began to bother me.
?I had to get out of there and take a walk around the gym to clear my head. Suddenly, I began to cry. The walls were crushing in on me and I hurried out to get some air.
?The episodes included panic attacks, a sense of being closed in, crying for no reason, foggy thinking, and exhaustion beyond my years.
?Doctors found nothing physically wrong to cause these symptoms.
Even a trusted specialist could not figure it out.
He suggested that I cheer up and enjoy life.
?I′m the life of the party, the one who encourages others, the one who helps people get out of the doldrums.
?But now I could not cheer myself up.?I didn′t know how.
?
My husband, in his ignorance, had no idea how to support me. ?Seeing me depressed brought out frustration and fear in him instead of the empathy and comforting hugs I needed.
?And so I hid myself from him and cried alone in my kitchen.
?A day of fun with the kids could turn into a disaster.?
?I had a volcano inside of me.?
The lava would begin slowly in my feet and ascend through my legs, up my abdomen and chest, a torrent erupting in angry screams at my children. I could feel it coming on immediately, but I sincerely had no control over it.
?I learned to recognize when it would happen and I would yell to my husband,
“Take care of the kids, I′m going to lock myself in my room so I won′t hurt anyone.”
?At those times, thoughts of suicide would penetrate into the fog of rage surging in my head.?
?Questions of
“What′s wrong with me?”
????????????????????????????????“Am I going crazy?” lurked there too.
?
I stashed chocolate in my pajama drawers to sooth my nerves when I had to lock myself
away. I would read Scripture, write in my journal, pray for healing until I calmed down.
?
I decided to record the dates of these episodes on my calendar: when I woke up depressed,
when I had a panic attack, when I got uncontrollably angry. After a few months, I recognized the pattern and it was very clear:
?
?Every.two. weeks.? Periods and ovulation. It was hormonal!
?
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I had had absolutely ZERO changes in my menstrual cycle. No hot flashes, nothing I had
heard would be related to menopause. The physical changes didn′t begin until several years later!
?????????????????? ?????????????????I was not crazy.
??????????????????????????I was not mentally ill.
? I was going into the natural aging process of the throes of menopause.
But, I was 42 years old. I was still nursing my two-year-old, who I had been fertile enough to bear at age 40.
?I thought menopause happened after 50!
I was totally unprepared, no one I knew had experienced these symptoms. Medical personnel were not able to help me. My husband did not understand, and I was left alone.
?But God was there for me.
Despite the depression, the panicking, the anger, the remorse for my terrible behavior, the lack of clear thinking, the suffering I was going through, making my family go through,
God sent help.
?I found a kind and compassionate Homeopathic doctor who recommended natural treatments. They only worked sometimes. But,
??????????????? SHE LISTENED?
Every time I felt suicidal or like a crazy lunatic, every time I could not stop sobbing
uncontrollably, I called her and she listened.?
A pastor recommended that I take up a hobby, do something for me.
?So I did. I went back to taking piano lessons, a childhood dream left unfinished. My piano
teacher had a sweet disposition to talk whenever I needed to, to pray with me
and for me, to listen as my tears dropped on her piano keyboard.
?
And my toddler, the one who had been born at 40?
I thanked God every day for sending him
????????????????????????????? to love me, hug me, kiss me, ask me,
???????????”Mommy, why are you sad? I love you, Mommy! Don′t cry!”
?God came to meet me where I needed Him. We walked and talked on the beach together. I cried and asked questions, He listened and sent answers to my prayers.
?It took time, but I made it through that depression and the anxiety of menopause----
And so can you!!
God is a very present help in times of trouble.
He′s there if you call Him.
And I′m here, too. Reach out!
??
English Coach for Lawyers ?? | Helping Motivated Lawyers Advance their Careers | 1-1 & Group Coaching ?? | Negotiations ?? | Client Communication ?? | Interviews & CVs ??
2 年Thanks for sharing ??Debra. I'm a day late, but shared my personal story (well, my dad's) today too. We need to de-stigmatise talking about mental health. ?
I help nonnative English speaking CEOs and professionals become eloquent communicators to achieve your career dreams. | Accent Training | Small talk | Public Speaking | Interviews | Storytelling
2 年No one can say it hasn′t affected them or their family. ? ? Mental health conditions, disorders and illnesses affect all of us, patients, family and friends. If you find yourself in a hard place today, read my story. I care. If you need help,please, don′t keep it a secret! Don′t cry alone in the corners! ? Find someone to talk to, to listen to you! Keep trying, keep praying, it will pass. You are loved!?? ?? If someone you love is going through a tough time. . . Be understanding! Tell them you are there for them! Give them a hug! Listen. Talk. Express your love and help them find the way out. ??WorldMentalHealthDay ? ? ?