It's Okay to Be Selfish
The holiday season is the time of year that many people give thanks. People express their gratitude by writing notes, exchanging gifts and performing acts of kindness. This year, I think people deserve to be a bit more selfish.
Being Selfish
Is it really a bad thing? To take care of your own needs and provide for yourself? Let's re-frame what it means to be selfish:
For a child/adolescent - it's learning how to cook, doing laundry, and cleaning up after yourself. For somebody in a relationship - being selfish might look like going to the gym, or meeting up with friends every now and then. For a parent/guardian - it's making time to rejuvenate by doing the things you enjoy, whether it's fishing, reading, or under-water basket weaving.
If you've ever flown on an airplane, you know that flight attendants instruct passengers to put on their own oxygen mask prior to offering assistance to children and other individuals. Taking care of yourself first allows you to address the needs of others.
Why The Negativity?
Being selfish is not always a bad thing. Focusing on yourself doesn't have to be at the expense of someone else. I remind myself frequently.
Between work and my extracurriculars, 2020 has been my busiest year on record:
- Working full-time as a realtor;
- Volunteering as Media Coordinator for Beach Cities Relay For Life;
- Serving as President of Hermosa Beach Kiwanis Club;
- Taking office as President of my fraternity's Alumni Volunteer Corporation; and
- Starting a new creative venture
I've turned down plenty of fun and opportunities this year. Yet, I regret none of those decisions because it has allowed me to continue pursuing my objectives. Changing the perception of being selfish looks like respecting people who stick to their convictions - not taking it personally when someone makes the decisions to accomplish their goal(s).
How and When to Say YES/NO
Selfishness is like a muscle - it requires exercise and proper form. In the past, I've had a hard time saying no to others because I strongly dislike the feeling of letting someone down. But letting myself down is no longer an option.
Sometimes you might feel like your needs are at odds with those of something or someone else - it's okay to look after your own needs first. Maturity is taking care of yourself - putting your oxygen mask on first. Focusing on you does not have to be at another person's expense.
And be wary of people that make you feel bad about taking care of your own needs. If someone has a hard time understanding this line of thinking, it's probably because they are not being selfish enough.
Wishing you all a very happy holiday season. Make time to be selfish.