It's okay to put your oxygen mask on first

This month is National Mental Health Awareness Month and for good reason. I don’t know about you, but this last year has taken a toll on me and my family.

I’ve discovered that being on Zoom calls all day is sucking the life out of me. And my kids have really struggled with online schooling, mask-wearing, and being separated from their friends.

As well, in my work with educators I’ve learned that aside from learning loss and recovery, the number one concern right now for both students and teachers is mental health. When I recently asked my niece, a high school teacher, how it’s been teaching during COVID, she began to cry as she described the emotional roller coaster she and her students have been on, even sharing that she was thinking of quitting a job she loved.

Truly, mental health and wellness is a real issue right now. And personal experience has taught me that the most effective way to handle it is to sharpen the saw, to renew your body, heart, mind, and spirit on a regular basis—it’s okay to put your own oxygen mask on first. If you don’t, you won’t be able to help others around you who are also struggling for air.

That has taken form in a number of ways for me. I have never taken my dog for a walk in my life, but I have multiple times in the last few months. And I have learned that breaks are not a luxury, they are necessary because being on Zoom from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. is not okay.  

Depression and anxiety are a real epidemic for so many people right now, especially among young women. They are living in the perfect storm of feeling pressure to be pretty enough, popular enough, smart enough, and to generally be all things. Social media paints a picture of what it looks like to be impossibly perfect, and the result is feelings of worthlessness, anxiety, and depression.

To help combat this trend, my family and I started a public charity called Bridle Up Hope, with the mission to inspire, confidence, and resilience in young women through equestrian training. The program combines learning to ride and care for a horse with learning life skills through the 7 Habits. It’s really powerful to teach the 7 Habits through the horses while also offering a safe space in nature to be away from technology for a couple hours a week. Given the environment we’re in, we can’t keep up with the number of applications we’re getting right now. 

What we are facing as a society in terms of mental health reminds me of what it’s like to see one of the participants at Bridle Up Hope take charge of a horse for the first time. It’s a pretty amazing moment to see when the horse can sense its handler taking charge. The same can happen in our lives when we consciously decide to take charge of our own lives and mental wellness. You will feel the difference. And people will take notice.

Take care of yourself and watch what happens as a result. Take time to stop and sharpen your saw--you can cut through life so much faster when you do. For me, that looks like getting up early each morning to exercise, plan, read, and prepare for the day, knowing that my day will go so much better because I took that personal time to sharpen my saw. It looks like taking time to eat healthier and to get more sleep, and to manage my stress by taking more golf cart rides around the neighborhood and going to more movies (yes, that is my ultimate relaxation technique).

Because I’ve seen it with my kids. I’ve experienced it firsthand. And one of the most common questions I am asked by educators addresses it head on: we know we are in a mental health crisis; what can we do about it?

My response is always the same: it’s okay to put your oxygen mask on first. 

Whether that means reshaping your daily habits and routines or seeking professional help and care, never be too busy driving to take time to get gas. Stop and sharpen the saw. You won’t regret it.