It's Okay to Be Human at Work
Last night, I had a very quick talk with a work friend who I know is going through some tough non-work stuff. I made a point to say I was thinking of them and that I'm available. That's all. A friendly touch. A moment to let someone known that I was thinking about their story going on outside of work.
Humanity is a Strength
A lot of people somehow confuse being personable, kind, and human as a weakness. It's the opposite. Just think about this: when I deal with you professionally, wouldn't you rather I understand where you're coming from and how that might flavor your conversations with me? Maybe I need to take into account that you need things said in easier ways. Maybe I should wait to dole out any heavy details. All that.
I think that some of the ultimate lessons around mastering communication (maybe even more so at an executive level) has nothing to do with what I say. My job is ensuring that someone receives and absorbs the information. Not just hears me, but that they know what to do after. I think being empathetic and aware of people's world in and around work makes a difference.
It's Also the Right Thing
We aren't just a work person. We're a whole person. We take work home. We take home to work. Our brains and hearts and thoughts and focus points all blur. Some times, we have to be very focused at work, but we have something big going on at home. Other times, work is the tough spot, and it spills out everywhere. We always have to consider the whole package.
Difficult Discussions are Crucial
I will confess that I used to be horrible at difficult discussions. I was raised to avoid conflict. (That's not blaming anyone - just the playbook at home.) I used to think that if we didn't talk about the challenging stuff, you'd probably just figure it out eventually.
Do you know how many kinds of wrong that is?
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Let's say I need to talk to you about your work performance. Maybe you're drifting from delivering value. If I ignore that, or pretend like it's not happening, a bunch of things happen:
It's a sign that you care if you have a difficult conversation. My boss and I have those kinds of conversations when they're necessary. He tells me if I've got to step it up in some area, and I help him see where he's letting certain details drift. When I work with other people in the organization, I do my best to bring people up to their level of capability taking their humanity into mind.
"Human" Doesn't Mean Telling People What They Want to Hear
I got this detail from Colin at work. We were talking about how important scaling company culture is, and that a lot of where people might misunderstand what it means to be human comes from some misunderstandings harbored by some people who think "be human" means ignoring the goals and pursuits of the organization.
I stated it above: it's human to be able to have the crucial conversations. It's difficult to tell people sometimes what they might have to do to stay at a high value level in an organization. It might mean having to guide people towards the track that helps them achieve our objectives. And that also means sometimes having to disappoint some people.
I'm glad that I'm human with people. I'm glad that I take into account the full human. I'm grateful that I can talk to people about all the building blocks that make up our people. We're not just work. We're not just home. We're the whole human.
How do you feel about it? What's your take? Do you feel you can't be the whole you at work? How do you work with others? Do you feel you have to mask?
Chris...
Career Transition Expert | Author of This Isn't Working! Evolving the Way We Work to Decrease Stress, Anxiety, and Depression | TEDx Speaker & Presenter | Business Consultant to Consultants | Entrepreneur
8 个月We are both a person (individual) and a professional. We were taught not to bring our work lives home or our home life to work. It was a false dichotomy. That's how I opened my TEDx talk in 2015. And we still need to be talking about this. Great points, Chris.
Owner at Kathleen Thompson International
8 个月I think we have to be careful to keep nuance in the conversation about bringing our "whole self" to work. We are human, yes, and it's important to treat each other with respect and care. Bring emotion into the workplace. No emotion, and you have no passion for the cause. And so, we have to embrace some of the difficult emotions that people bring into work with them, or experience while there with challenging relationships et al. That having been said, it's also a place where we're meant to be professional. Each of us bringing the best we can and best of who we are. We're not meant to let it all hang out at work. That's not fake. That's professional. I don't see it as a "balance" between the two. I see it as both being true at the same time.
Empowering community service leaders & teams to navigate challenges, prevent burnout and lead with resilience and compassion.
8 个月On being human, I don't know in what universe being a less than human dictatorial boss actually provides positive outcomes. At best complacent compliance from reports and peers and at worse sabotage. I've personally seen it multiple times.
Founder & CEO of Weaving Influence | Author of Reach | Keynote Speaker | Book Marketing Expert | Podcast Host
8 个月I'm glad you're human with people, too, Chris Brogan. Being human at work makes work more worthwhile. Thank you!