It's ok to let go...

We are taught the value of family, friends, a strong ‘network’ through the different stages of our lives. And more often than not, it is for completely selfish reasons.

Nod at everything that your family says, because they will help you, financially mostly, in your time of need. Hang out and keep in touch with friends, even if it is pretentious, because they are next to family, may help you pass your exams, or lend you money(or stuff) in times of need. Have a good network of smart and influential people at work, because they will help you with your promotions or help you get a job in a reputed company. Doing this within the limits of your natural capacity is fine. But unfortunately, the people and the environment around us, and hence we, keep on pushing ourselves to be on our toes all the times! To tip-toe around people that matter leading to losing ourselves and eventually hating ourselves for having to go through an enormous amount of discomfort. That’s very hard, being something that you are not and you don’t enjoy being.

As we grow older, we naturally become stronger, mentally of course. We understand that many things in life that seem like a giant mountain of distress, eventually disappear with time. Not giving attention to many things which aren’t in our control is probably the best idea. And while it is great to talk about our worries and disturbances, sometimes not talking about them, letting them go, make them much less scary than they are. This works as long as you have some confidence that you’re on the right path, even if you’re not moving. Now, if there is anything, or anyone, who demands an explanation or justification from you for your actions, which reminds you of the unpleasant things in life, it is high time that you let them go. This may as well be concealed in simple (and apparently sympathetic) statements like, ‘What happened with you was wrong’, or ‘Better things will happen to you’. Being compassionate is one thing. But it's also important to be mature about your words and about understanding where a person is in his or her life. And if you are a person with good intentions, you'll leave your doubts and questions behind if the other person seems happy with life. Rubbing over questions which are making someone seem disinterested or bringing up topics that a person is uncomfortable with actually reveals quite a sadistic side of one’s personality. But isn't that most people that we're surrounded by do? Passively, if not actively? But either way, it does more harm than good. And only a mature and genuine well wisher will be able to understand you.

Now after all this, if you still want to spare your precious time out and waste your energy on things and on people who aren’t adding emotional value in your life, would you still want to have them around just based on the possibility that some day, they may (or not) help you out when you’re in trouble? That some day we may need them for whatever reason? It's taxing, to live a life and to direct our actions around 'possibilities'. First of all, why would you put yourself in a kind of trouble that you can’t get yourself out of and second of all, if you have 5 genuine people in your life, one out them (if not all) will surely be there for you. They don’t need to be friends or family; they just need to be people with a good heart. And there are enough of them if you just look around.

When I was in school and college, I used to believe that living a life of ignorance makes one appear dumb, unambitious and entitled. But today, at 30, I believe that choosing to ignore things which make you feel negatively of yourself or think less of yourself, is actually the smartest thing anyone can do. Letting go should not be associated with a bad past, it should be associated with being more connected with yourself and with a heightened sense of self belief.