It's ok not to be ok

I’ve been working in the fields of human resources, education, and training for most of my adult life, and over the past year, I have thought more deeply about human connections than at any other time during my 14 years of managing and interacting with people.

In my working life, I have experienced a wide variety of situations and have always been aware of people reacting in different ways to different challenges. I regularly receive private messages from my connections abroad asking for referrals or information about opportunities to move to Ireland, but for the first time, I am getting messages from candidates in Ireland with years of experience who have lost their jobs or who are afraid that they might lose them soon.

Take this example in my own workplace. We generally work very well as part of a team but suddenly found, when we started to work from home, that some insecurity was creeping in. Being used to working normal office hours, Monday to Friday, some members of the team started sending emails at 7.30 am and 5.00 pm just to signal, “Look I am here, I am working!” One day my HR administrator started to cc the directors in all HR emails, even on calendar invitations. When I asked her why she started crying and said she was trying to show that she had been working hard and for long hours. She told me she was afraid of losing her job. 

I can see, both in speaking to others and from monitoring my own behaviour, that people are not disconnecting from their jobs. The new office location, beside a sofa or kitchen, means that replying to emails or doing extra work outside normal working hours has started to become very common. “I am flexible, I am at work, I have free time, I have a very limited social life, I don’t need time for myself.” The importance of valuing and safeguarding time for ourselves, away from work, needs to be addressed in a very serious way, especially on HR wellbeing teams.

This is a totally new situation in the lives of many, and people are afraid. Vaccinations may be around the corner, but this “new normal life” of working from home is here to stay. The way we view the world may be changing radically. We hope that with these changes, a better life balance will come, but for this to happen we all need the necessary training and support from our HR team.

Express your feelings to your team, especially with HR/wellbeing. Asking for support is the first step in helping to solve most issues. You may discover that the majority of the problems you think exist may not be major issues at all. You may have created them in your imagination. Being concerned about your career is okay, but try not to let this dominate your day or work routine. Talk to people, ask for clarification, ask for help. In case you are not comfortable asking for help in the workplace, contact some of the services referenced below, or talk to a professional. Therapy might also be a good option to explore.

Most importantly, don't be afraid to ask for help! Last week I was very sad due to a combination of the grey Irish weather and missing my family on the other side of the world. I decided to send a message to a friend: “Today I am sad, and I need some company.” He came by an hour later, saying that he wasn't having a good day either and had decided to actually visit instead of making a video call because it was the first time I had ever presented myself to him in a sad mood. According to him, I am always happy and motivated, and he had been very surprised to see this other side of me.

It’s okay not to be okay. It’s okay to express such feelings. It’s okay to ask for help. Don't be afraid to talk with people who can assist you, especially family and friends. 

The following links might prove useful to you:

To find mental health support in Ireland: https://www.hse.ie/eng/services/list/4/mental-health-services/ or search for their services: https://www.hse.ie/eng/services/list/4/mental-health-services/services/ 

You can find some free community training in mental health at Mental Health Ireland https://www.mentalhealthireland.ie/training/community-training/  

Other useful websites:

https://jigsaw.ie/mental-health-services-over-18/  

https://spunout.ie/help/categories/mental-health-services 

Please, share, like, comment.

I would love to hear your thoughts.

Juracy Antunes