Its OK to Grieve
Chester Elton
I help transform corporate culture | 20+ years experience | 500+ leaders coached | Keynote Speaker | Ready to improve your company culture? For business inquiries, [email protected]
by Chester Elton
I consider myself a happy guy.
People that know me, I think would say the same thing, “That Chester is a happy guy!”
And, for the most part it is true. I grew up in a happy family, I am happily married and our four kids grew up in a happy home too.
I am a glass half full person. I look for goodness and beauty in people and places. Heck! I am the Apostle of Appreciation!
And yet, there are times when we happy people get sad. We get frustrated and worried, we feel left out or forgotten. We have days when even our best friends seem distant. And that’s OK. Happy people can be sad. Just like everybody else.
My wife taught me about grieving.
That it is important to take time to grieve our losses.
And so today I am going to take time to take off my happy face and give myself permission to grieve.
To be sad for a while.
To grieve the loss of being with friends, family and being able to travel to some of my favorite places.
There are lots of Myths around grieving and sadness.
One Myth is: The pain will go away faster if you ignore it!
I think this is very true of men in my generation. We just power through and do all we can to avoid looking weak or vulnerable.
The Fact is: Trying to ignore your pain or keep it from surfacing will only make it worse in the long run. For real healing, it is necessary to face your grief and actively deal with it.
So today, I will set aside time to grieve.
Not to bottle it all up inside and let it all out so that I can heal and move forward.
So that I can get back to being that happy guy again.
Happy people get sad too… and that’s ok.
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4 年I was asking myself if how do I grieve? How do I cope up with grief? You see just last monday may 11, my dad passed away due to probably heart failure but we are still awaiting result for the liver biopsy result. It is so hard on my part that I together with my husband and my brother I wasnt able to see him and touch him and bid him goodbye due to quarantine. ???? im so lost right now?
English Language-Life Skills Coach, Silver Jubilarian in the Human Empowering Mission in 2020????
4 年It's the sign of a real human...grace your life with grieves as well! Thanks, Chester Elton...nice reflections ????
Executive Director at One Kind Act a Day
4 年Very well stated my friend. I appreciate “happy guys” like you who seem to have enough “happy reserves” so that when guys like me need the occasional injection of energy, enthusiasm or happiness there are guys like you around who are ready to administer the needed elixir. Thx for being that “happy” guy.
I create environments where individuals, teams, and organizations grow and thrive.
4 年Thank you.
People Developer | Executive, Leadership & Sales Coach | Strategist “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.”
4 年Thank you, Chester. Today marks 10 years since my Dad went Home. He was my very best friend and my feelings today can be as raw as the day I said good-bye (for now). The best advice I received during my grief was "it's ok to not be ok." As simple as it was, it was the permission I needed to give myself. Now I recognize my feelings for what they are, with a smile and a tear, and honor them. Thanks again for sharing!